Set up the homophobes.

"Hold on a minute," you say, feeling a surge of confidence in the wake of your success. "Would you guys rather be bored in class, or stay here with me, knowing that the professor will mark you present anyway?"

One of them says, "I mean, if we're not gonna be marked absent, I guess I'll skip. I don't know why I'd hang out with you. You seem kind of gay."

You feel the anger start to rise again, and you say to them, "Is being gay really that bad? Is it really worth pissing your pants just to not be gay?"

"Look, bro, I don't know if I'd take it that far, but it's not for me, that's all I'm saying."

"Let me ask you this, then," you say. "Would you rather have to do something gay, or would you rather everyone think you're gay?"

One of the frat boys starts to consider the question seriously until the other one interjects, "That's not even a question, bro. If everyone thinks you're gay, then you know what that means. No more pussy, ever. I'd rather have to do something gay, as long as no one knows." The other yields to this logic.

Of course. You've met guys like this, and you know where their priorities lie. You decide to go in for the kill.

"Alright, then," you say. "In that case, would you two rather get together every weekend to take it up the ass from a couple guys in secret, or would you rather have to hold hands wherever you go, so that anyone who sees you will assume you're fucking each other?"

"I just told you, man," says the first frat boy, "I don't want anyone to think I'm gay. I'd rather just do it and then get pussy afterwards."

"Every week, though?" says the second.

"Bro, you can still bang chicks though," says the first.

"Yeah, fine. I'd rather get fucked if it means people know that I'm straight."

"In that case, you'll enjoy this weekend," you say. "And every weekend, for that matter."

"Wait, why?" one of them says. Then, as he realizes what you did to his friend, he also realizes what you're doing to him, and his jaw drops in shock.

"Wait, we're not going to have to do that, right?" says the other.

"One more question," you interrupt them. "When you guys take it up the ass together, would you rather make out or hold hands?"

"Hold hands, hold hands," they say. "But I don't want to do any of that!"

"Hey, at least you'll be able to get pussy afterwards!" you snicker. "But maybe I should do something about that too. Would each of you rather have a micropenis, or be totally impotent?"

"Micropenis," says one of them, and a second later he shoves his hand into his pants, groping frantically.

"You fucking with me? Impotent," says the other.

"What the fuck, you want to be impotent?" says the first.

"Yeah, that just means you can't have kids, right?"

"That's infertile, dumbass! Impotent means you can't get it up at all!"

"So much for banging chicks," you say. "But at least you'll have no shortage of dudes to fuck."

"You fucking faggot," they say, and they seem ready to attack you when you interrupt them with another question:

"Would you rather go dress shopping right now, or make out in the bathroom right now?"

"We'll go dress shopping, but if we see you again, you're fucking dead," the first one says. The second one follows as they storm off.

As you watch them go, you hold onto the image of the two men holding hands as they take it up the ass together. Yes, your powers are real, and possibilities swim through your mind.