Searching for a personal assitant/secretary

As much as you hate his guts, Jack was right about one thing. Upper management won't even consider you for the role of department manager if you don't even have a personal secretary. The problem is, you're a fish out of water in a pond filled with very distrustful fish. You and Jack were pretty much the only middle-manager for the auxiliary branch marketing department.

There used to be a guy who had your job but he unceremoniously and suddenly quit, causing you to fill in his shoes. You suspected Jack had something do with that but the real issue was nobody was willing to be your personal assistant. It's not like you didn't try either, you placed flyers outside your glass office, you spoke to everyone eligible in their cubicles but their answer was always a mix of:

"Oh I'm already Jack's personal assistant"

OR

"Nah, I'm just too busy"

OR

"I'll think about it..."

In each one of these conversations, you could tell the female-dominated office looked at your with distrustful eyes. You suspected half of them were in some form or another, in league with Jack Bones and the other half simply just didn't trust you. You were racking your brains for a solution, dragging your feet back to your office before being greeted by a short-haired brunette.

"Your coffee sir? Hot Mocha right?" She spoke in a timid, soft-spoken voice. Realizing it was only the coffee girl, you nodded her a thanks before collapsing on your office chair. You took a sip out of your mocha that tasted like dirt, and another sip, and then another sip but the coffee girl still stood exactly in place, a few centimeters away from your desk.

"You can go now Miss?"

"Miss Thea but you can just call me Thea if you'd like"

"Right...you can leave now Thea" But of course, the brunette, decked out in a blue top that hugged her chest comfortably with tight-fitting skirt simply stood firm like a tree.

"Mr. Pines, if I may, I heard you were looking for a new personal secretary and I would like to throw my hat in the ring"

You almost chuckled out loud when you heard that. Everything in HQ was paper and qualifications based, meaning influence was bought through a specialist diploma, degree etc and the achievements you did with those qualifications. This extended to one's staff and secretary and no disrespect to any coffee girls out there but this brunette looked like she was in her 30s, not an intern fresh out of college.

"Do you have a high school diploma?" You asked in an uninterested tone.

"Well, I dropped out"

"Are you married?"

"Got divorced haha"

"Did anything other than serve coffee your whole life?" You asked, as if staying in this conversation was excruciatingly difficult.

"Well no but I swear but my coffee"

You finally had enough as you spat out whatever poor excuse of a mocha that was and tossed the paper cup in the trash.

"You're a high school dropout with no past history as a secretary and you make a shit cup of coffee, get out" You blurted out directly only to be surprised by the blow-back you received.

"Lot of talk from a washed out, has-been from HQ" Thea's tone of voice miraculously changed, her soft gentle demeanor suddenly replaced by a women that looked and sounded like she came from the streets.

"Excuse me?"

"No fuck you man, you think you're some big all important guy but you're just some bum who got kicked out of HQ"

"Are you done?" You asked with an emotionless face.

"You think I want to serve coffee all day to pigs like you? You think I want to bend over each time I drop off coffee at a cubicle that has a pair of balls sitting in it just because I'm a coffee girl?"

"Other bitches spread their legs once like that bimbo Natalia and their set for life" Thea started to bitch about Jack's personal secretary and suddenly, the motivation to become your personal assistant makes sense. Coincidentally, a light bulb sparked in your head as Thea continued to bitch.

"So here's the deal has-been, you make me your personal secretary with a 80% raise and I'll give you a hand-job or something every morning. Probably more action than you ever gotten in the whole time you were in HQ. In exchange, you tell them other men pigs to lay their hands off me, we got a deal?" Thea looked on smugly, as if she were already confident she won.

"What makes you think I will say yes?"

"Cuz half of these bitches are sucking on Jack's dick fool, you don't have a choice"

It seems you have about four choices in your deck of cards:

1) Agree with Thea's ridiculous demands, you need a secretary desperately anyhow

2) Refuse Thea's demands, you rather see the whole office fuck the coffee girl silly than lose your pride

3) Agree with Thea's demands but negotiate for a better deal

4) Attempt to bluff her