Science time

Considering that you lack acumen towards scientific analysis, you see it fit to surrender yourself to authorities - at least for now. Naturally, if you get forcibly locked into a secret government facility in Nevada, then you'll forego any pretense of cooperation and fuck them up.

However, as a precaution you think of all possible ways that the government may try to entrap and exploit a reality-altering entity such as yourself, and pre-emptively negate them with your magic. You give yourself a passive invisible shield that deflects all projectiles, blunt weapons, sharp objects, **** heat and cold, poisons, strong acids and electricity. You also create an invisible and intangible filter on your mouth and nose that prevents entry from everything besides air. Who knows - if they get really **** they might try to get you with nerve gas?

Not knowing of any better place, you take your tail-scooter down to a local enlistment center to show off your magic to the bedazzled sargeants. Within an hour you've been driven to a local army base in the desert, where, after a serious bout of doubt, you display your magic much to the perplexment of the military higher-ups.

You present some very stringent rules for experimentation:

Sophie: "I want all of this in notarised writing. Here are my rules. No. 1: My participation is fully voluntary. I can leave at any time I want."

General: "That's to be expected."

Sophie: "No. 2: You can't try to dissect me, or **** me, or brainwash me."

General: "Miss Sophie, you seem to have some... unconventional ideas of what the US army is about. Now perhaps if we were the CIA..."

Sophie: "No. 3! If you break these terms, I retain the rights to break out of here and destroy anyone who tries to resist me doing so."

General: "Well I... but we couldn't possibly allow... alright. When can we proceed with testing?"

Sophie: "Right away, if that's alright with you."

General: "If it's alright with you then it's alright with us."

Once the papers are signed and notarised, you copy it with your powers and send a copy each to the BBC Broadcasting House in London, the NBC Studios in New York, Al Jazeera headquarters in Doha, Qatar, and your old college roommate Gina. Nobody will be able to track, retrieve and intercept all of them, you figure.

You are escorted to a large, mostly empty building for testing. There are two stuffy-looking whitecoats present, a bespectacled woman in her 40's and a young Asian man.

General: "Miss Sophie, this is Dr. Ellis Jexter from the University of Berkley, and her assistant Richard Nguyen. They'll be overseeing the testing."

Dr. Jexter: "*This* is the woman you mentioned? Why is the military indulging a rando cosplayer?"

Sophie: "If I wasn't so goddamn nice I'd blow your head to smitherines for that!"

General: "Miss Sophie, please... Why don't you give us a showcase of your powers?"

Sophie: "Alright."