Sasuke? Odd choice, but okay.

Naruto thought hard, eyes closed in focus as he milled through his memory of targets to mess with. There were plenty of victims, from going back to Tsunade and making her have a pig nose and a penchant need for rubbing her huge knockers on him, to heading down to Ino’s to make her butt massive and making it customary for her to give blowjobs as thanks for spanking her huge booty, but Naruto was better at pranks than this, he had to think of something a little more creative…to start off with, that is, he may do that stuff later when he was feeling up for something a little lower down the creative spectrum. Then it hit him.

Sasuke! Just the prick that’s been dominating his life! One-upping everybody in his class (including him), being on his team and annoying him the whole time, this really needless betrayal of running off with Orochimaru like a dumbass. “Yeah, that sounds like a fun place to start~” He said to himself as he wandered to the front gate of Konoha, book in-hand and malicious grin on-face. He pulled the bookmark to change the subject of the book, watching it turn to Sasuke’s current progress in a flurry of pages.

With a snicker, he placed his pencil down on the page, and started scribbling…

***

Sasuke panted as he sank back against the wall of the training room, having come up with a new jutsu he wished to get perfected just right. The dark basement of a facility that Sasuke hides in with Orochimaru and his loyals is dark and brooding, perfect for training something light-based like this chidori lightning maneuvers. There seemed to be a slow sarcastic clap from the other end of the room. Kabuto standing alongside Orochimaru was the one clapping as the pale one with too much eyeshadow looked on approvingly at his future body’s progress, licking his lips with a long-for-a-human tongue.

“Oh, well done showing off there, Sasuke, you put on quite the lightshow.” Kabuto mocked as Orochimaru sat in a nearby chair.

Orochimaru followed up his lackey’s remark with a request, “Yes, it was quite impressive, but it seems we only got the tail end of it. Care to give another example if you’re not too tired?” He then leaned back, as if saying to everyone that he’s the baddest bitch in the room, “After all, I’m sure you could need the practice~”

Sasuke sat up off the wall and sneered. He was always sneering, but he’s been doing it all the more ever since her showed up here. He shrugged and readied himself into a fighting stance, “Tch, if you wish, though don’t blame me if you’re hit by a few stray bolts.”

He made the appropriate gesture for his Chidori, charging up the many currents trailing off his palm, until he felt it was enough. Then, with an epic lunge towards the training dummy…

Flew backwards as if a lightning bolt has struck him cleanly. Not anything major, just enough to be comically damaged. At worst, his hair now poofed up into a silly afro from the Chidori backfiring somehow.

As Sasuke groaned and sat up, the two spectators blinked, Orochimaru was open-mouthed at what just happened, as Kabuto was holding in raucous laughter, tears trailing down his face. Sasuke couldn’t believe what just happened, and readied up to try again. As it charged up…

He ran around the room, screaming about how his hand hurts, as it was on fire. It was definitely very weird, as the damage seemed to only have a comedic effect to it as he dipped it into the water basin off to the side, and revealed the scars that should be there were not. Now Kabuto couldn’t hold back his laughter, lauaghing and rolling on the floor like a maniac, as Orochimaru held his head in his hands.

Sasuke seeing this, decided to try something else, just to prove himself not an idiot like the Chidori was making him seem to be. Nerves, that was all, right?

Sasuke tried instead to practice a different technique, how about a good ol’ big fireball technique. With the necessary hand seals, and proper hand positioning to unleash a devastating fireball onto the training dummy…

The fire instead alighted behind him from the seat of his pants as a loud fart sound ripped through the area. And of course, Sasuke running back over to the water basin to dump his on-fire behind into. Now Orochimaru was braindead shocked at such a terrible display. Kabuto himself was making such a racket with his laughing at the edgelord’s silly plight.

That’s when Sasuke started to wonder what the hell was going on. No Jutsu’s were actually working at all! Maybe if he tried something a little more nonlethal, maybe it would work. He shifted back to the room, and readied up a classic Transformation Technique, planning to turn into the form of Orochimaru as a visual reference, and with a poof…

“Sexy Technique!” He cried out, “Wait, wh-” And poofed into a naked bosom female form of himself, just like Naruto’s stupid joke technique! With a girly scream, he tried to cover himself, like a girl suddenly gone naked would do. His body was indeed a very pretty girl, with really the obvious things that resembled him was a little in the face, his Sharingan (Which actually was different, being more pink and had a heart shape to his lens rather than a circle), and his hair color, which was now done up in silly pigtails that extended down passed his DD perky boobs, and around his new cute shapely buttocks, which only showed to frame his now cute petite body on black-blue hair.

Kabuto couldn’t take it anymore, he ran off down the hall to the bathroom, thinking he may pee his pants from this comedy of errors. Orochimaru just groaned and got up. Walking over to…

Sasaki. That was her name. She was a total screwup, and really, the only reason Orochimaru thought to keep her around was that she had the Sharingan, but the latest report on her bodily functions revealed that because of the heart shape of the lens, the Sharingan could not work at all, making her practically useless!

“Look, Sasaki, I appreciate your enthusiasm for joining my side, but you’re more harm than good, so I’m throwing you back to Konoha…”

Sasaki was shocked! After everything she had done, the one time she could prove herself not to be a sexy screwup, and she wasted it?! “B-but Orochimimi!” Sasaki stuttered, slipping his name again, “I’m still good! Watch, I’ll poof my clothes back on! KAI!” And her clothes reappeared on her person, though it wasn’t the kimono that Orochimaru gave him. Instead, it was a silly blue and white jester costume, with only knee-highs, a long-sleeved dress that exposed her cleavage with little bells on the lip of the cutout positioned where her nipples were, the skirt not covering anything as it curled upwards and also dangled bells, curled-toed shoes with (again) bells, a large blue clown nose (Thankfully, no facepaint), and a silly four tailed jester cap on her head, jingly bells on each point as well, surprise surprise.

“N-no wait! I can do better! Shadow Clone Technique!” And lo and behold, a perfect shadow clone of Sasaki appeared next to her, but it had a huge perverted grin as it proceeded to give her a wedgie from her oddly stretchy thong and hooking it around her head before poofing away, making her struggle to get it off. “Nonono! One more time! I swear I’m a good cunny-itchy! I’ll take you on with my hidden cunny!” She pulled out what appeared to be a buttplug in the shape of a rubber kunai from her ass and started waving it around at Orochimaru at arms’ length with no finesse, eyes closed and making girly grunting noises.

Orochimaru groaned and grabbed her arm as she looked terrified. “You’re going home, young lady!” And he ripped the curse mark that was being used as a tramp stamp off like it was a temporary tattoo. To be honest it was, Orochimaru thought she was that much of an idiot that he could do something like that. “Nooo~” She cried, “I need to beat my super hot brother! I can’t go back a loser! Waah~” And that was all before she blacked out from staring into his eyes.

***

Naruto pulled the mysterious cart he found just outside of town to the front of the Hokage tower, since it had a note attached addressed to Tsunade, reading “Yeah, she wasn’t any good. You can have her!” And a crude doodle of a big-boobed Sasaki looking goofy and stink lines, with an arrow pointing to her reading ‘Dumb Bimbo!’

Well, with that little part of his concerns dealt with, he may as well wander around the rest of town for a while, planning for his next victim!