Sadie and Sarah fight

Sarah’s words are innocent enough, but I can see the playful smirk in her eyes. “So, how’s the date prep with Louis going? Picnic, mini golf, and a movie?”

I finish my bite of eggroll slowly, giving me time to swallow down my anger as well as come up with something calm to answer with. “It’s fine. We’re going to wear costumes though and go to a costume party as it’ll be on Halloween.”

Sarah knows that I like to chat. That when I’m calm, I’m wordy. That when I’m nervous or energetic, I’m even wordier. Hopefully she’ll take my curt, short, answer and put two and two together. It doesn’t happen immediately though as she just digs in deeper. “Oh? So now you’re not only going out on a date with him, but you’re wearing matching costumes? And this isn’t for a stream, right? It’s just the two of you?”

I make a show of taking a bite of the mapo tofu before answering, again giving me time to think about what I want to say. I have to chew particularly slowly though as I feel my acidic side begging to be let out. “Right. Just between friends.”

Sarah plays up her part, obviously trying to dig at me. “Riiiigghhhht. My little Sadie who doesn’t want to go out with boys, is going out on a date with a hot guy who’s already kissed her. A guy who’s admitted he likes her. And since this isn’t for a stream this is…. You turning a new leaf? Liking the attention of guys?”

I answer quickly. Probably too quickly. “You know I don’t like guys. I don’t want to go out with Louis. Our audiences did this. Just… just leave it alone Sarah.”

Sarah puts up her hands as if she’s surprised by my reaction, even though she had to know she was getting under my skin. I try to get back to my meal, thinking to myself about the stream tonight and if I’ll go with Quaryknack or another funny modded version of Boulders Port 4. While her answer does leave my date with Louis alone, she obviously isn’t letting me off the hook. “I’d say that tracks, but how about that video with Marley? I heard you editing it and have to say it sounded fucking hot. I didn’t get the lyrics until I found your copy on our networked storage drive. What were the lyrics again? ‘Come on, touch my body. Harder, bigger, faster, longer, thicker’. I mean, with the way he was touching you, is it supposed to be him or you saying they want it harder, bigger, faster, longer, and thicker? Hmm?”

Remembering Marley’s video and how over the top sexy it was, I toss my chopsticks down and point at Sarah. Just before I tell her off, I literally bite my tongue and count to ten. She’s not trying to be mean. I can’t let her get the best of me. I need to just change the subject. When I’m able to, put my pointing finger away and answer her curtly, “It’s what he needed for his investor. It was to help a friend.”

Sarah can clearly see she’s getting my goat, but she continues to dig in. “Oh, so having that big black stud practically fuck you on video is just helping a friend. And dating Louis is just for your audience, even though they don’t get to see it. Mmm Hmm, okay. Are you sure you’re not getting a little curious? I mean, it wouldn’t be the worst thing in the world for you to explore a little sexually. Maybe we can find another man for you to play with though. One that doesn’t stream with you or work out with you.”

Sarah’s words cut me to the quick as I immediately get stuck in my head, imagining her talking about Todd. About her wanting me to be with Todd as opposed to Louis or Marley. The words start coming out of my mouth before I even think about what I’m saying. “Fuck you! This isn’t me, it’s you. It’s your fault that I’m in this position. I don’t want to lead Louis on and I don’t want to have Marley feeling me up like this, but they only see me as some sexy bimbo puppet with your hand up my ass, you fucking bitch!”

I feel my chest tighten up even as the words spill past my teeth. I’ve thought about calling Sarah a bitch before, but I’ve never actually said the word. I think the worst thing I’ve ever actually called Sarah is a meanie. Before I can regroup though, Sarah answers. Her brows are pulled together, and it looks like a thunderstorm is gathering inside of her eyes. “What did you call me?”

I open my mouth to apologize or at least say something, but Sarah cuts me off. “No, you don’t get to call me that and act like it didn’t happen. I guess I’m a bitch because I took you in? Because I’ve taught you how to stream and make money? How to pay rent and your college debts? Didn’t you tell me that you were making enough money to start paying me back for the big bills like your computer and your tits? Is that what makes me a bitch?”

There’s a part of me that hears what Sarah is saying and can agree with it. She’s angry and deservedly so. I shouldn’t have called her a bitch. I shouldn’t have even used that word. But my emotions are already running hot and while the part of me that knows this says to just walk away, the boiling emotional part of me just lashes out. “Yeah, that’s what makes you a bitch, you fucking CUNT! You turning my life upside down and now you’re acting like it’s all a game? You get me so wound up by having me go down at you without cumming myself for over a month? Any touch to my body makes me nearly go off so yeah, I get turned on by guys now. Are you telling me that it wasn’t your plan to make me fucking GAY!? Well, you can stop it as I’m not some sissy whore and I’m not playing your fucking games any longer!”

At some point during my tirade, I’ve stood up and am glowering down at Sarah. My knuckles are white as my hands are curled into fists and crushing into the table as my arms shake. Sarah slowly stands up, her eyes dilated and her breathing coming in short angry gasps, “Sadie, I don’t care how emotional you are right now, you need to apologize. We’re both getting ready to stream and we can’t with you going off the deep end. Apologize. We’ll both sign off our streams tonight and work this out….”

She’s right. I’m the one being overly emotional. But the conductor running my train of thought right now doesn’t hear that. It only hears her calling me an emotional girl, even though she’s the one that made me into an emotional girl. I lash out, tossing half the food from the table onto the nearby wall, screaming out “FUCK YOU! YOU CAN’T MAKE ME!”

Sarah almost falls out of her chair, barely avoiding being hit with our side dish of pot stickers. When she stands up, she takes one step toward me then holds herself stiff, obviously preventing herself from getting physical. After a deep breath in she steps back and walks wide around me saying, “If you won’t calm down or walk away, I’ll be the bigger person and do it. But this isn’t over Sadie. Not by a long shot.”

I hear the door to the garage studio open and then slam shut. I try to calm down but with the thundering silence, I break down. Falling to my knees I start crying. Just like with Brandon and Todd, I know damned well that I shouldn’t be angry at Sarah. That Todd put me into this head space and practically made me say those things. But it wasn’t his words that just now hurt me. It was Sarah’s.

I don’t cry long but know that my makeup is ruined. Before I go to clean myself up, I take care of the mess I made. I’m sure Sarah would get to it if I left it, but it’s not her mess to clean up and that just wouldn’t be fair. Once I have the majority of the food thrown away and the table, wall, and floor cleaned up, I move into the bathroom and clean my face. I don’t even bother assessing how bad the makeup is before washing it all away.

When I walk into my room, I see that I’m not going to look my best. My eyes are too puffy and red. But unless someone is looking for it, I should be able to hide it and still stream. And while streaming is the last thing I want to do, it’s exactly what I need. It will occupy my mind and make me push Todd and Brandon and even Sarah out of my head. It will also keep me moving in the profitable direction as opposed to the other way. Sitting down at my vanity I play a bit with my makeup, going for a little more overtly sexual look. A little sluttier. It’s not my ideal look with this outfit, especially with it not being a Friday Date Night, but it will help me lean into what Sarah was hinting at rather than trying to hide away from it. I might not want to date Louis or have Marley touching me like he has, but looking like the type of girl that does want those things keeps my audience interested and paying more.

By the time I get my social media posts out and get into the stream I’ve at least calmed down if not fully got my mind around what I’ve set in motion. As I play with the giggling bikini wearing monsters in Boulders Port 4 and spice it up for my audience, I realize I’m going to have to make it up to Sarah. If nothing else, this proves that we need to see the doctor about my hormones. If it wasn’t for them, I wouldn’t have lashed out at her, I’m sure of it.

When I finally finish off my stream, tossing my kiss to the audience and telling them “Au revoir mes amours!”, I check and see that Sarah is still streaming. I take my time locking everything down, saving everything to the network drives, and posting everything to UsTube, but Sarah is still streaming strong. I shrug to myself, figuring she’s probably burning off her own angry feelings just like I did, and decide to leave her alone and catch up with her in the morning.

After washing my face and doing my skin care routine, I put my hair up into a bun and slip into a cute cami and matching boyshorts. I make sure to keep myself pulled back under the gaffe as Sarah wasn’t there to lock me back in my cage. Slipping under the covers, I nod off only to be woken up a half hour later, not by my watch but by Sarah opening the door to my room. She roughly sets down a shoebox with a pink ribbon wrapped around it and practically growls “Don’t touch it until you’re told to.”

Before I can offer my apology, she closes the door forcefully and stomps off to her room. I stare at the box, worrying about what Sarah has set up. She wouldn’t let her anger wash over into our relationship, would she? She’s clearly not over our argument, but…

My thoughts are interrupted by my watch buzzing on my wrist. My watch directs me to my phone where I see the expected ‘Press here for five required devotionals’ message. When I press the button though a new message appears, telling me to get out of bed, open the box, and lay out all the contents on my bed. I follow the instructions, getting more and more worried with each piece that I pull out of the box.

I’ve wondered for awhile if Sarah would ever give me another watch to wear. It’s so damned effective at tracking what I’m doing with my hand, why wouldn’t she simply have one on each wrist so she can make me do motions and actions with both hands? I guess that will get answered as I have a new purple Apple Watch for my right wrist. The next item is innocuous on its own. A mount for my phone with a suction cup. I’ll be able to hang my phone up anywhere there’s a flat surface… meaning I won’t have to hold it. The next two items though make my phone’s attachment more worrisome. Two large thick dildos, one black, one white, both with suction cup bases. The final piece has nothing to do with the phone or dildo mounts but is just as worrisome. A butt plug. A butt plug that’s longer than my princess plug and whose base curves and contours with my body. It’s one that I’ll be able to wear even under my yoga pants without it being obvious.

With my new watch on, it’s clear the devotional program can now more accurately track my motions as it has me set up my scene. On an empty area of wall, I have to mount both dildos and the phone mount. The phone will be sitting in between both dildos, and they’re all set at eye level, if I’m kneeling. My final setup is to strip nude and slip the butt plug into me. It’s not nearly as wide as the princess plug, but like the toy Sarah used on me, it reaches deep enough to bump against my prostate making my groan of effort turn into a moan of arousal.

When I follow the devotional’s final set up instructions, I get really worried. On my knees, my tush resting on my heels, I feel the plug press into me as I stare at the phone and have the two dildos pointing to either side of my face. Looking down between my breasts I also see my penis, unrestrained without a cage or gaffe for the first time in weeks, starting to get hard. Without the cage on, it will be so much easier to orgasm… but am I going to do so while being **** to play with these emasculating toys?