Sadie’s Sunday is a milestone

I first noticed it looking in the mirror after my morning shower. Slowly I tilt my face left and right, up and down. I look particularly close on my chin and the groove under my nose. I think it’s technically called a philtrum, but that’s neither here nor there. Once I’m sure in those two areas, I check my whole body. My arms, my breasts, my belly, my scrotum, my thighs. I try to check out my back, but looking over my shoulder into the mirror doesn’t give me a close enough view. I go back and look even closer on my chin and my philtrum. I focus on these parts of my face as those were where my stubble would come in first and was the hardest to shave away. And those parts of my face, like everywhere else on my body, are completely smooth.

That’s not quite right. There are several hairs on almost every part of my body. But these aren’t the hairs that I’m used to and they’re certainly not in the numbers I was expecting. The hairs coming in are very faint and smooth. Not stubble at all. If I weren’t looking for them, I doubt I’d see them and I’d wager the few hairs on my face get completely covered by the makeup I put on. At the same time, when I look around my eyebrows, I can see some of the hair coming in. They too are thin and fair, but there are a lot more of them. I probably don’t need to touch up my eyebrows for another week or so but… why isn’t my body hair coming in? I was almost sure I’d have to at least touch up shave a few areas before I go to my doctor’s appointment.

As I’m doing a where’s waldo for body hair, I also take a closer look at myself. My skin is noticeably smoother. I doubt anybody else would notice, at least without touching me, but I can see the difference. It’s just less rough. It also feels better. Or rather, it feels better when touched. My nipples have changed. Again, it might take a photograph for people to see, but these are my nipples and I know they weren’t that big before. Nor were the areola around them that big or that dark before. Stepping back a bit, I notice my face has even changed. It’s hard to say that it looks more or less feminine as my lips, eyebrows, and hair all make it practically scream feminine… but even compared to last week when I had the same features, it now looks more feminine. Just a hint of shaping around my cheekbones and jawline.

When I’m finally satisfied, I skip my moisturizing routine and slip into some loose sweats. I know I’m going to have to disrobe for the doctor, so there’s no need to dress up in a skirt and blouse. I get all my stuff into a clutch and head out to the kitchen. There, I see Sarah putting down a breakfast of scrambled eggs and coffee. I give a little giggle as I’m realizing more and more that Sarah share a common trait. Neither of us can cook worth a damn. Sarah’s showing off her lack of skills this morning with the almost completely dry scrambled eggs and the burned toast. At least the coffee is good.

Once we’re both settle down, eating, and flipping through our phones I set my phone aside and look at Sarah. “Hey. Have you used electrolysis yourself?”

Sarah pushes her plate away and looks up at me. With a shrug she says “No, I never thought about doing it. I actually like shaving. Sure, it takes a lot of time but I think its worth getting up fifteen minutes early. Plus, as a girl, I don’t get the same amount of hair as you do. Why?”

I hold my arms out to her and reply “I’m just surprised it’s lasting so long. I mean, a few hairs have come back but most of my body is still completely hairless. I know the pamphlet probably said something about it, but I… um… forgot. So, do you know how long it lasts before I’ll have to shave again?”

Sarah’s face doesn’t change. She just keep staring at me. It’s a little odd after fifteen seconds. It’s a little disturbing after thirty seconds. And after a full minute it’s down right unnerving. Finally, still without her face changing expression she says in a tense voice “You DID read the pamphlet, didn’t you Sadie? Don’t lie to me.”

I feel a knot form in my stomach. There’s no way she’d know I might lie about it unless it said something very specific about the amount of time this would last. Not wanting to start off today with a fight I nod in admittance and say “Yeah… I didn’t read it at all. That was the first night of the cage and the first devotional. I wasn’t really in the mood to read. And that feeling lasted until through the morning when you wanted to set up the appointment. All I knew is I didn’t want to get waxed and you said the other two were about the same. So I just…” I vaguely gesture to my right “… picked the one over here and went with it. Why?”

Normally when I see Sarah frustrated, she also has an undertone of angry. Admittedly, when she looks like that I’ve normally done something to make her angry and frustrated, but this time she only looks frustrated. Standing up she silently points at me, obviously indicated I’m to stay where I am, then goes into her room.

When she comes back she has the pamphlet, still crinkled up from when she threw it in the trash. When she puts it in front of me, two portions have been highlighted. “…expect to go through around two to six sessions… “ and “…it's important to remember – the results last forever.”

The word ‘forever’ seems to zoom in until it’s all I can see. My hand trembles as I continue to look at the pamphlet. “For… forever? This was permanent? But wait, it takes several sessions, so does that mean my hair will grow back? It does, right? It’ll just take a long time, right?”

When I look up at Sarah, I see her frustration has changed to one of concern. “No Sadie, that’s not how it works. You’ll need multiple sessions because of what you’re seeing now… they didn’t get all the hairs. If you didn’t get any more, you’ll have several individual hairs as well as maybe a few patches. But the hair that’s gone is… gone. You told me you didn’t want anything permanent done, that’s why I asked you several times if you’d read over the pamphlet. I even made sure Stacy asked you. Damn it Sadie, I didn’t want to push you further than your limits and about the only limit you had was permanent change. I’m so sorry, but your hair has been permanently removed.”

I feel the shock and surprise and sadness and anger all build up in me quicker than I’m used to. After hitting the table with a fist I pull my hand over my mouth and let out a painful sob. Sarah comes around the table but I shrug her side hug away and stomp into my room, slamming the door shut. And as soon as it’s closed, I break down into a fit of tears. I’ve had plenty of reasons to cry since this whole ordeal started, but even now, in the middle of my own crying fit, I’m wondering why I’m taking this so hard. Plenty of things have happened that are worse than losing my body hair.

It takes me almost ten minutes to get my tears under control and then another five minutes to clean up and put some basic makeup on. When I’m ready I step out and see Sarah waiting patiently at the table. She seems about to say something until I hold my hands up and say “Look, I’m sorry about that. It just got to me harder than I thought it would. It’s my fault. You did give me every opportunity to read it over and yes, it’s very clear that it’s forever. I’m sorry I acted so…” I shrug, never having imagined using this word to describe myself “…bitchy.”

That seems to reset the whole situation as Sarah laughs and gives me a hug. “Okay, let’s go to the doc and make sure your procedure is holding up. But from everything I’ve seen, you’re doing fine.”

The appointment with Dr. Lacy goes surprisingly well. She has me disrobe and put on a gown, then checks out every place that she worked on individually. I really appreciated that she didn’t have me just buck naked while she checked me out. The only part that was a little disconcerting was when she used the laryngoscope to look at my vocal cords. I knew she’s have to take a look, but I didn’t expect a flexible tube to be slid up my nose and down my throat.

When we sat down after the exam Dr. Lacy said that everything was fine. That the fat cells were settling in fine and would remain so until they were taken out. Her only concern is that she noted my breast and hips had grown some. As her procedure couldn’t lead to that, she correctly assumed I was on hormones. She reminded us it was important to not use too much as we didn’t want a lot of growth. Any growth itself wouldn’t be a problem, but it would be adding skin that would have to be dealt with if and when I wanted the fat grafting removed.

Sarah and I both assured her that I was only taking a minimal dose and that was just for the desired feminizing effects and not for the body growth. Dr. Lacy seemed satisfied and gave us a measuring tape so we could keep accurate records of both my hips and breast size, asking us to contact her if I grew too much.

When we left Dr. Lacy’s office both Sarah and I felt a lot better. Neither of us were concerned, but getting good news was still a good thing. We celebrated by stopping and getting some ice cream to celebrate. Back at home Sarah actually changed into some loose sweats and we sat on the couch eating ice cream together. Sarah had her double chocolate and I had my cherry cordial.

I almost groaned when Sarah put on a new RomCom but halfway through I found myself following along just fine and even crying at various parts. I mean, why doesn’t he just ask her to marry him!!??

When it’s finally almost bed time Sarah switches off the TV and turns to me.

“So… we’ve come a long way. You still have a ways to go, but I think we’ve reached a major turning point. Up until now, I was making you into a sexy, fun, flirty, feminine, girly streamer. Your body, your mannerisms, your beauty, your vocabulary, your surroundings, and I know its frustrating, but even your sexuality. It’s been a lot but you’ve held up great Sadie. In addition to all that, you’ve taken your streaming and social media presence further than even I thought you’d get in this time frame. I thought we’d be lucky if you were comfortable streaming three times a week by Halloween. That’s almost a full month away and you’re already streaming almost every day. How are you feeling about all of this… and be honest with me, I’m planning on how to get you to the next plateau.”

I sit and think about it for several moments. “I’m not going to say it hasn’t been hard. Hell, I’m not going to say that I haven’t wanted to kill you sometimes. But I got through every moment like that, mostly with your help, and moved on to the next difficult thing. I still sometimes get surprised when I see myself in the mirror or hear myself speak. But most of the time I can separate me, Nick, the female me, Sadie, and the streaming me, Princess BabyDoll. And that’s how I look at it. It’s three people all with their own responsibilities. Every day I spend less and less time thinking as Nick and more and more as Sadie and Princess BabyDoll. I think you’ve set me up for the future and I’m ready to keep on working. Hell…” I pause a moment to make sure I’m actually meaning this part and not just getting caught up in the moment. Upon reflection, I’m satisfied that I can say this in truth. “…I’m even ready to keep working on my flirting with Marley and dealing with Louis.”

Sarah pulls me into a hug and holds me tight. I honestly return the hug, holding her tight as well, feeling a warmth between us. It’s not truly friendship. There’s just too much of a power dynamic between us to be real friends. But it’s certainly friendly and I’m happy to share friendship with Sarah. I’m even excited when she pulls back a bit and smiles as she says “The next lesson is going to be maximizing audience and money. And I can’t wait to see you start to rake in the cash!”