S-ENF-027 - CLEAR

Item #: S-ENF-027
Object Designation: Clear

"Amazing," said Dr. Emilia Lucent, holding the dress up to the light. "I can't believe there really is a kind of fabric that's only visible to smart people. Isn't this dress beautiful?"

"What dress?"

"What dress?" Dr. Emilia Lucent raised an eyebrow. "Do you mean, to say, Dr. Blithe, that you can't see this dress I'm holding? The dress that I can see? And that only really smart people can see? What would that imply, I wonder?"

"Er. I mean, what a lovely dress!"

"What color is it?"

"The dress? Why, it's... dress-colored, of course. What a silly question. Why are you even asking? Maybe you can't see the dress! Unlike me, Dr. Blithe, who can definitely see it."

"Hah!" Emilia stepped into the changing room. Dr. Blithe heard the sound of unzipping, and the rustle of cloth. She stepped out again, beaming triumphantly, and did a twirl in front of the mirror. "I look incredible! Not that you would know, Blithe. You can't see it!"

"Can so! I definitely know all about the dress and its... frills, and... puffy sleeves?"

"You've got no idea. I knew you were two or three IQ points stupider than me! You're never living this down, Blithe! I'll be rubbing this in your face for the rest of your life."

"I'm telling you, I can see it! Shut up!"

The two super-genius scientists stepped out of the dress store into the busy streets of Paris, still arguing. A cyclist turned his head to look at Emilia, and almost crashed into a lamp-post. A man in a striped shirt with a giant baguette in his shopping basket watched her stroll past, his mouth hanging open. Dr. Blithe put his hands in his pocket and began to whistle.

"Go on. Tell me more about this dress. This dress you can't see, because you're stupid."

"Um... it's... short?"

"Not even close." Actually, the dress was quite modest, enough so that Emilia wasn't bothered by the fact that she wasn't wearing any underwear today. The pixies had been raiding her wardrobe again. She did a little twirl, revelling in the way the glittery fabric sparkled in the sunlight, and said "How does it feel to be so dumb, I wonder?"

"I can totally see it. It's the most seeable dress I've ever seen."

"Do you need help remembering what order to get dressed in? Pants come before shoes, you know!"

"That's not even funny," said Dr. Blithe, as a passing policeman did a double take and started blowing his whistle frantically. Paris sure was lovely in the springtime. Thousands of tourists were out, wandering around, taking photos of everything they saw. He watched two Korean girls giggle as they snapped a shot of Emilia, and said "What's your IQ again? 180?"

"190 now," said Emilia, smiling at an ice-cream seller in a way that made him drop a scoop of chocolate. "I get smarter every time they test it. The doctors say it's scientifically impossible."

"So pretty much everyone around here is dumber than you, right?"

"Yep!"

"And anybody dumber than you can't see the dress."

"That's right!"

"Including me."

"Hah! I knew it! You're dumber than me, you are, you are, you are!"

Dr. Blithe sighed. "Fine," he said, coming to a stop in the middle of a busy public park, and looking Emilia up and down. "I admit it. I'm a few IQ points dumber than you. That dress is completely invisible to me."

"Yes! I win! You clown, you nincompoop, you absolute buffoon! I knew you couldn't see the... hey, wait a minute."

Emilia stopped. Dr. Blithe was smiling at her. So was everyone else in the park.

She looked down at her lovely, beautiful, resplendent dress.

"Dr. Blithe! I HATE YOU!"

"Not my fault, Emilia. I could never trick you. I'm too dumb."