Rouge's Bizarre Adventure: Part 1

The following takes place during the group's visit to the Free Ride.

Bitches. Just running off to the booth, no chance I'm going to be drunk enough before-

"You look incredible." Rob's voice meets my ears. Fuck. Why did I agree to this again? I mean, sure, I feel guilty after the stuff with Elise's parents, but at what point does repaying a favour become unpaid escort work?

"You look the same. Great to know I'm worth so much effort." I point out, this prick's not even bothered. I look supernova hot tonight and he wanders up in jeans and a t-shirt. Trish put more effort than that in just to watch my finger myself. Maybe it's a man thing.

The barmaid finally places my drink on the bar, looking me up and down. Barking up the wrong tree, love, only reason I'm here is because I might get some dick out of it that wasn't mass produced in Asia. I assume it wasn't anyway.

"Cheers Jessie." Rob chirps, as he receives his drink. "Doesn't make a difference if I put effort in, I'm stood next to you, I'd look like the ugly one either way."

Cringey motherfucker. Ooh, you called me pretty, that's me sorted, your place or mine? I know I'm stunning, you'd think a musician would have some creativity.

"Wow, if that's your best line I should've made this a double." I scoff, taking a swig on my vodka.

"That's fair, in that case, how about we skip the boring flirty shit?" He offers. Oh joy, we're dropping all pretence of romance. Wouldn't want to be impressed or anything. "I've slept with two people, got out of a serious relationship not long ago, clean break, no baggage there. I live with my sister, don't talk to my parents, work with Jasper in the days, play here in the evenings. That's about it. What've you got?"

That's... Personal. I think? Did I just get a CV?

"What the fuck are you doing?" I demand.

"I figure I've got maybe fifteen minutes until you get pissed off and leave, I'll try and fit as much date in before then." He explains with a casual grin. Well, he's intuitive, quarter of an hour is generous though, I wanted to leave before I got here.

"Fine." I decide. "I've had sex with four people, last guy I liked turned out to be gay, last serious relationship I had ended when I turned eighteen, no baggage, told him to jump off a bridge. I live with my sister, barely see my mother, avoid Jasper's fiancée like the plague, spend all day sorting everyone's problems and my night wanking myself silly. Happy now?"

His silence tells me he wasn't actually expecting me to share so much. People never seem to actually want what they ask for.

"Huh... Well, I can help with at least one of those things." He finally answers. I can't help but snort at his insinuation. I'm on the fence, he winds me up, but it's almost serene in how little he minds, it's like a punching bag, I can let loose and it doesn't matter. "So, genuine question, you don't wanna be here, I get that, why'd you say yes?"

Damn it, why'd we skip the small talk? I'd rather hear about his first hamster than try and explain why I blurted that out.

"Honestly? I dunno. Just kind of happened. Maybe I was in shock from the sudden request?" I hypothesise, taking another drink. "If you knew I didn't want to, why'd you ask me?" I counter.

"Because I wanted to." Rob replies simply.

Shit, stuff's easy with him, this is how it's meant to work, right? I'm meant to be the clever one, become a doctor, marry a decent man, pop out some kids, and die in a nursing home. He definitely fits in that story. Guess I don't really have enough reason to blow him off just yet.

"So, is that barmaid spying on us or what?" I ask Rob quietly, gesturing to the girl who gave me my drink.

"Jessie? Yeah, that's Anya's girlfriend, she's absolutely reporting everything we say." He confirms with an equally low volume. "We should mess with her." He smirks.

"Monkey Butlers." I state loudly.

"Pirates!" He joins in.

"Barbeque Pork." I continue.

"Telephone calls!? In my neighbourhood!?" He nearly yells.

Our nonsensical gibberish seems to work, as Jessie moves away, presumably to report her findings. I can't help but laugh. Still, it's almost reassuring, like I haven't been totally abandoned.

"You want to know what I think? I think you said yes because you saw Trish getting close with my sister, and you felt left out." Rob theorises. Okay, at this point he's just trying to make me leave.

"Damn, you caught me, I saw two women kissing and I thought, you know what? Now's the time to just randomly go out with men at gay bars. Truly, you saw through my charade, how could I hope to hide my intentions from such an unyielding intellect?" I respond, rolling my eyes.

Rob tips his head to the side, concurring my point. "True, doesn't make much sense when you put it like that." He admits. "Unless you secretly like Trish."

I chuckle at the attempt at psychology. "Wow, great theory, a straight girl is jealous that a girl she's already fucking got off with someone else. The answer is clearly that I'm in love with Trish." I laugh off his assertions. That's ridiculous. I'm straight, I've already established this, so I had a friend who got me off a few times, so what? Fucking idiot. Putting shit like that in my head. It's bullshit. He's a twat.

"I didn't say love. But, I think you like her more than you admit, and you don't like that, so you want a man that you can point to and say you like him instead." Rob narrates, before taking a swig of beer. He sounds... Put out. Like he's admitting defeat. That's just pathetic, I thought he'd last longer than that. If he comes as fast as he gives up on dates we're gonna have a real problem.

"So you think it's impossible that I actually like you?" I ask, trying to hold back my latent anger at his cowardice. He looks back to me with surprise, he really hadn't considered that, had he? "Here's the deal, I'm straight, you can accept that, or don't, I don't care. If you don't, I'm going to go hang out with my friends. If you do, you're going to kiss me, I'm going to watch you play with the band, then you're going to take me to yours and fuck my brains out. Because it's been too long and frankly, you're not bad looking. So which of these is it gonna be?"

Rob seems shell-shocked. Maybe I went too far? He downs his drink and slams the bottle back down on the bar, before grabbing the back of my head and pulling me into a kiss.

His beard's itchy. Fuck it, what do I care? I'm actually kissing someone I can make out with in public... I'll just keep going, I mean, he's not gonna want to stop, so I won't either. It feels like it's been a while now. Is it weird for a straight couple to be kissing in bar meant for gay folk? It's probably weird. But if I stop he'll think I'm taking back what I said.

"Hey, porn star, time for your real work." Interrupts Skye's voice, forcing us to pull apart. She leads Rob off to the stage, so I head towards the booth with Scarlet and Elise.

See, would someone who liked a girl snog a man for twenty minutes? I think not... Except Trish. Trish probably would. Son of a bitch.

I'm gonna fuck that guy until I can't remember her stupid fucking name.