of the Allie

Come close, dear reader, and your old friend Allie will weave you a tale of heartbreak and sorrow. There once was a handsome (well, passable) prince by the name of Todd, and he promised to sweep our young heroine off of her feet that they might ride off into the sunset and live happily ever after. As of last Thursday, the only thing that Prince Todd had ridden was his secretary. The kingdom echoed with the resounding crash of his impact as I kicked him to the curb.

There is a school of thought that says that the best way to get over someone is to get under someone else. I've never been the 'rebound' type, but why am I writing this column if not to explore strange new peaks and valleys of the sexual landscape?

While I'm being honest, there is a strange duality to my quest. On one hand I've never felt less attractive, and I've never wanted the attentions of a noble suitor more. On the other, Todd had always been very possessive of me, and how better to get back at him than by re-asserting my ownership of my body and my sexuality? Plus, the idea just sounds kind of hot!