Reopening the Safari Zone

“Hey, so I was wondering… what made you open the Safari Zone after the original owner closed it down?” you ask.

“Original owner? I AM the original owner!” he squawks. “I set this entire place up by myself, and don’t you go trying to credit anyone else for it!”

“Oh…” you mumble. “But then… you closed it down?”

“You’re damn right I did! Things were going well enough running this iconic, beloved tourist attraction which people would fly from different regions in order to visit. But one night, I had a dream. At the ripe old age of 84, I had a vision of a BIGGER, BETTER Safari Zone! One in which habitat and feeding habits weren’t a factor. A subset of ecosystems capable of sustaining life from across the globe! A place where you could see any pokemon you could wrap your dicksucking head around!” Rude.

“Sounds like a pretty amazing idea. And…?”

“IT FAILED HARDER THAN A TODDLER IN ADVANCED TRIGONOMETRY!!!” he bellows, slamming his cane against the floor. “My lot in Fuchsia City was too small for my idea, and I’d have been damned if I was gonna hire some lazy punks to run my pride and joy! So they could walk around showing off their panties to the patrons just like you!” RUDE.

He continues, “So I mortgaged it and flew off to use more land in Johto. I paid an independent R&D group to find a means of creating my dream attraction. They came back with a miraculous invention: pokeblocks! Do you know what pokeblocks are? THEY’RE ORDINARY BLOCKS OF CLAY! You should have seen it! The sight of me telling potential new customers about the power to change the layout of the Safari Zone using pokeblocks! I even called them to tell them their blocks had ‘upgraded’ and were more valuable. You know what appreciates in value? NOT FUCKING CLAY!”

“Y-Yikes… sounds like a rough time…” you chuckle nervously.

“It was a fucking farce, that’s what it was. I tried making it work by hiring a couple strong men to move the terrain around, but even they were exhausted by the time I’d had five customers in a single day.”

“So… what did you do?” you ask. “What happened to your dream?”

“IT DIED A FIERY ****. I sued the pants off of those eggheads who had the nerve to sell me molded dirt as a scientific invention, then closed the whole operation down and came back here to continue running something that ACTUALLY WORKS.”

“Aww, that’s such a sad story!” you pout. “I wish things had turned out better for you. But at the same time, I’m happy the Safari Zone is open again! I’ve been looking forward to going for a long time!”

“Yeah, I can’t deny it’s nice to be doing what I know. And beating all the squatters over the head with my cane felt good too. Almost mistook you for one at first.” Close call for your poor skull… “Take it from me kid, stick with what you know. Even if that means flashing your panties and sucking cock to make a living. AND BEING HEAVILY CRITICIZED FOR IT!”

Chasing your dream has been difficult for sure. You’ve already had plenty of hardships… and orgasms, none of which were your choice… But you’re better than playing the role of the town whore, and you’ll prove it to everyone! No matter how many times you get **** into sex in the process! It’ll all work out in the end!

“Thanks for the advice, but I still have a dream to follow. A dream in which I only flash my panties or… do mouth things… when I want to! Because I’M in charge of my own body! And nobody has sex with me, or makes me cum, without my say-so!” You declare it proudly with every ounce of your soul.

“Ah, to be young and have dreams. I don’t know if you’re full of hope or delusion. What I do know is that SOMEONE IN THERE HAS TAKEN THE PREDETERMINED NUMBER OF STEPS THEY’RE ALLOWED TO TAKE, AND I’LL KNOCK THEM **** WITH THIS CANE AND DRAG THEM OUT OF THERE IF I HAVE TO! SAFARI ZONE INC IS NOT LIABLE!” He marches into the attraction to retrieve a very unlucky guest.

“Y-Yikes…” you repeat.