Reiko and Kaede (Part 1).

For Kaede, this was just like the first day of school. An overwhelming pressure in her chest, light dizziness from stress, shaky hands and general stiffness. She should’ve been over the moon at being invited to the house a girl her age, and yet this was how her body was reacting.

It had been too sudden. She had no time to prepare. Leonardo just sprung that up on her, and she was unable to say no. Not because she didn’t want to go to a classmate’s house, but because she feared refusing would mean losing what might be her best chance to… well, make a damn friend. So she said yes, and now she was walking with Maeda-san to her house.

“My house’s actually not that far from yours,” Maeda-san said. “We live in the same residential district.”

Kaede tried to think of an interesting way to respond but couldn’t think of anything and just nodded and hummed.

“Um… My parents are a bit overbearing, but if I tell them we’re studying, they should leave us alone.”

Oh. Just like her mother? No, there was no way they could reach the levels of her mother. Actually, being in the island without her watching her every move was… freeing. That, at least, made it worth having decided to follow Wisler-san. Then she realized she’d been caught up in memories of her family and hadn’t answered Maeda-san. H-Had it been too long since she said that? Would t be weird to answer now? Crap, she probably though she was ignoring her! An uncomfortable silence settled between then, and it was all her own fault.

They reached the house and went inside.

“The door was locked, which means my parents haven’t gotten home yet,” Maeda-san said. “Let’s just go to my room.”

Kaede followed with stiff steps as she went up the stairs. Maeda-san’s room was very clean and tidy. So much so Kaede didn’t know where to stand or even sit. There was a big desk with a chair, but maybe Maeda-san would sit there? Should she sit on the bed? B-But what if she wrinkled it? Wait! She should just wait until she was told where she could sit!

“You can sit on the chair if you want,” her classmate said, sitting on the bed herself and falling with a little bounce that wrinkled the perfectly made bed.

Kaede nodded and sat on the chair, almost stumbling awkwardly as the wheels moved it away from her. She was making such a fool of herself!

“…”

“…”

“I… I’m sorry. I know I’m not a very fun person to be around, but I’ll help with studying if I can,” Kaede said, glancing from Maeda-san’s face to the floor.

Her classmate suddenly frowned. “You know what? No, we’re not studying today!”

“…Eh?” Kaede’s blood turned to ice. W-Was Maeda-san angry at her? Why!? She said she’d help! Then… Kaede really was just being a pain, wasn’t she!?

“We’re not studying! We’re having girl talk!”

“…hah?” Kaede blinked.

“Well, you’re nervous and so am I! I haven’t brought a girl friend to my house since middle school! We’re not gonna get anything done this way!”

Relief washed over Kaede like a hot shower in winter. She wasn’t mad! And she was nervous as well! It wasn’t just her! But even so… “I don’t have anything interesting to talk about, though.”

“How do you know?”

“I’m not an interesting person…”

“Okay, first off, stop that,” Maeda-san said, scowling. “Don’t say things like ‘I’m not interesting’ or ‘I have nothing to say’ or even ‘I can’t make friends’. It’s not healthy, and between us, I bet Angela would call you annoying for it,” she giggled.

Kaede flinched. “A-Annoying…!?”

“She’s the kind of person who hates seeing people put themselves down, and I think I’m starting to see why she does. It sucks seeing people with qualities you admire thinking so little of themselves.”

“W-What?” Kaede blinked.

“Yeah! I mean, you say you can’t make friends, but you still went through the trouble of thinking how to approach the class, changed your image, and even dared coming to a completely new place for a new start, right? That takes courage!” Maeda-san nodded energetically.

“I… suppose? I think I was just running away,” Kaede said.

“Leo said something that’s stuck with me ever I first heard it from him. He said that the truly smart people are those who learn to use their talents to find happiness. I don’t think there’s anything wrong with taking action towards becoming the person you want to be. I’m just wondering if you’re actually doing that.”

“Eh?”

“I’m not trying to criticize, I promise!” she quickly clarified with a shake of her head. “I’m truly wondering if the way you introduced yourself in class was the kind of person you wanted to be.”

“...I don’t know,” Kaede sighed, her hands clenching into fists over her knees. “I just remembered what the popular girls in high school used to dress like and searched for pictures online. I think the clothes are neat, and… I had fun picking my own clothes instead of letting my mother pick everything I wear. But I don’t know if I can be the outgoing girl my old classmates were. I get anxious around people, I worry I’m bothering them or that they think I’m weird.”

“Okay, this is going to sound counterproductive, but if you’d like some advice, I’d say screw what other people think!” Maeda-san proclaimed loudly.

“What!?”

“Yes, you heard me!” her classmate pointed a finger at her. “You should worry about yourself before you worry about others! It’s like… like…” Maeda-san’s eyes suddenly widened and she snapped her fingers. “It’s like math operations! You can’t just do them in any order you want, right? You can’t take care of the exponent before resolving the parenthesis!” Ugh, Kaede hated the comparison but it made too much sense. Doing things in the right order was obvious, but she was just sick of math. Still, she decided to take Maeda-san’s words for what they were and ponder on them thoroughly. She then put a **** old man voice as she said, “It’s time you start asking yourself the big questions. Who are you and what do YOU want?”

Kaede could tell Maeda-san had a point, but the weird delivery confused her. “Huh?” she exclaimed, tilting her head.

Her classmate blushed deeply and laughed awkwardly, waving her hand in front of her face. “N-Never mind. Forget that! Ahahaha…”

Putting that aside, she was right. What did Kaede want? All her life, her mother had decided things for her. What clothes to wear, what school to go, what to eat and how to behave. But now she was in a spot where she was free, more so than ever in her life.

What did she want? Who could she become?