Reacting to the news

The news was a surprise to the rest of the table. Candi was overjoyed, bouncing in her seat, hugging her best friend. “It’s happening, it's totally happening!” Amanda put her hand on top of Derricks and gave it a little squeeze. “That is wonderful news, I just can’t believe it.” She was happy, a part of her felt like she did when they were laying under the stars watching the fireworks at the park, but another part of her felt that familiar knot return. When she looked over at Bailey it only got worse, what he had done for her this week was beyond compare. Yet she wanted it to continue, having a daughter was exactly what she always wanted and then there was Derrick. She felt like she was being selfish, something she strived to never be and yet she still wanted it. Amanda remembered a scene at the end of a movie she watched with Bailey about the guardians of the galaxy and how the raccoon was arguing with a police officer about wanting something more than someone else and how it was told it would still be stealing. The two of them had a lot to discuss tonight, and hoped he would be okay. It was hard to stay focused on the negative when it felt like it was good news to her, Derrick was happy, Candi was ecstatic to the point she wondered if a manger was going to ask them to keep it down. Bailey was mostly silent, just saying. “That is a big surprise.” While a few tears ran down his cheeks. A few moments later Amanda saw Bailey whisper something to Candi and exited the booth in a hurry, heading towards the women's restroom.

“I better go check on her.” Amanda said, thinking that Bailey was not doing well with the news. “It's okay, I got it! Earlier today she had to run to the bathroom too, poor thing couldn’t keep down her lunch. I think she might be feeling ill, but didn’t tell anyone so she wouldn’t ruin tonight for us or her. Did you see how happy she was? She literally cried at your good news Daddy.” Amanda wasn’t convinced, but if Bailey wasn’t feeling good earlier today she was surprised. Bailey was the type to whine and want to be babied when he didn’t feel well. If it was true it was something else she had to be thankful for, it was not normal for him to be so considerate of others. “She has it, unless you need to check on her?” Derrick said, putting his arm around Amanda as Candi went off to check on her best friend. Amanda knew she couldn’t check on Bailey the way she wanted if Candi was there so she just relaxed and leaned into Derrick and enjoyed the moment and the smell of his cologne. “No, I will let her handle it for now.” She felt his other arm come to rest on her stomach and a kiss on her cheek. “Seems like my surprise went over pretty well with everyone.” Amanda glanced up into his green eyes, giving him a small smile. “Decided not to warn me? I could have waited for Candi’s birthday to give her the necklace and give us more time to plan her birthday party.” Derrick was silent for a second, he looked at his beer to take a drink, but didn’t feel like removing a hand from the woman in his arms. “No need to give a warning for something good, but I get your point. You mentioned not having a party for Bailey last month, what do you think of it being a joint birthday party?”

It was his daughter's eighteenth birthday, a milestone and he was offering to share it with them. It was a trait she adored in this man, and loved the fact that she already knew that not only would his daughter be okay with it, she would insist upon it if she heard the idea. She wondered briefly what kind of stories she would hear if she talked to friends or his parents. “I think your daughter would turn it into a surprise double birthday party if we did not.” Derrick blew a little air from his lungs as he thought of the idea of her making a secret banner and surprising everyone with it. “My Candace is a driven girl, erm.” His face looked like he bit into a lemon for a second. “Driven young women.” Amanda understood the hardship of accepting the baby you once held in your arms was now on their way to adulthood on an academic level, but seeing him struggle with it and his insistence on using Candace over Candi was endearing. The two sat like that for sometime, just enjoying each other's company and trying to figure out where this was or could go. Amanda worried about Bailey, she loved him and he had done so much to prove his love for her and now she had Derrick. This was just supposed to be a short interaction with him, but from that day at the picnic she felt something that she knew would only grow. It was not as simple as following her heart. Her emotions pulled her in different directions wanting what she had just gained to continue and bloom, and knowing she already had someone that she shared love with. To follow the path of one would destroy the other, and without it… without Bailey, her daughter that path would be closed to her. She hated herself for wanting her cake and eating it too.

When Bailey rushed to the bathroom he looked at the stalls and then moved to the sink. The last thing he wanted was to have his skin touch the floor of a public bathroom, even if there was a layer of nylons between them. With one hand on the counter, the other hand was used to keep the long hair from his face as dinner spewed forth into the sink. His stomach was doing summersaults thinking about how this was going to go on, they were staying, he was going to have to be a girl for longer. His mind raced with the worst parts of this week, the leg and feet pain from heels, calling the woman he loved Mommy, being spanked like a child, Megan.. Just everything about Megan, the diet. The memories just kept coming in no particular order, sitting in August’s lap and feeling his dick grow hard as he was **** to kiss him, or when his lips were wrapped around the man’s cock, the taste of cum, oh God the does of cum. With the repetition of the last thought his stomach sent another wave of material back up and out his mouth. With it though he felt the presence of another, someone helping to hold his hair and pulling back the strands he missed, rubbing his back and speaking softly to him. “Shhh, shh. It’s okay, everything will be okay.” When his stomach no longer threatened to reject anything more, Bailey looked to Candi with red watery eyes. He wanted to scream and yell at the little girl. Tell her it would not be okay, how everything was a lie. He would rather have his way with her than spend another second talking about, sharing or buying fucking heels, or boys.

This was no longer about Mandy, this was about him and his survival. If he told this girl the truth her Dad would absolutely destroy him, Megan would make sure he lost Mandy and that he would just go to jail, but still he had to say something or he was going to burst. He was going to tell her they weren’t friends, that all week he.. She pretended to get her mom a promotion and that she didn’t want to see her again. It would fuck over Mandy for this job, but fuck it he was done. “Look, tonight, no this weeks…” He meant for the words to come out stern, in a commanding voice, but with his emotions a wreck as they were it was almost a whisper, soft and weak. The inability to even command his voice was too much for Bailey with everything and he lost it. Bailey started to cry, the tears welled up from something deep, coursing through him and down his face like a river breaking through a dam, and with it he collapsed into her. Sobbing openly into her shoulder as she wrapped her hands around Bailey, repeating what she said before. No longer were the words a poke of irritation, but ones of comfort. This girl was kind, she was helpful. Even if she was aggressive and manipulative with it. Everything this girl did was because she thought it would bring out the best in someone. She tried to shape the world around her by being helpful, and thrusting those people in the direction she believed would be best for them. Bailey wished this was all easier, that she and her Dad were cruel. He wanted to hate them for what he had become, and yet he couldn’t.

The body-shaking sobbing continued even after the tears were gone, but eventually Bailey was able to find stable emotional and mental ground. “Are you feeling any better?” Candi asked and Bailey gave a few small nods too, not trusting himself to speak just yet. “You put on a brave face today, I didn’t even know you weren’t feeling well. Ever consider taking up acting?” It made Bailey laugh, the idea of him acting as a career. Right now he was doing it to live, if this was a movie he would be getting an award, but she had just given him a lifeline. The throwing up was because Bailey Ann was sick and she was pretending to be well. “I umm like tried, I didn’t want to ruin anyone's day.” Candi gave Bailey a big hug. “You are just too much, no one would have been upset with you for being sick.” Bailey looked over to the sink and frowned at what he saw. It was already draining down the sink, but Bailey turned on the faucet to help that along. While doing so he saw an elderly woman leave the bathroom without washing her hands while making a disgusted face. When he saw that he realized other people saw him in that state, in this state he corrected himself looking at his destroyed makeup. He felt Candi’s hand on top of his own on the counter. “It’s okay, she was the only one that came and stayed, two others were very understanding.” Bailey definitely didn’t notice Candi talking to anyone else or people coming in and his cheeks grew red from embarrassment. “Come on, let me clean you up and fix you up before you leave okay?”

Bailey let the girl wipe away his makeup and fix it back up. Looking back into the mirror he saw once again the beautiful teenage girl standing next to another that looked more and more like his sibling. When they left Bailey looked up to the booth seeing his girlfriend, the woman that said she loved him leaning into the arms of another man, to anyone looking they looked like they were a couple in love. Bailey didn’t want to lose it again, let out a breath and looked around and saw the dance floor. He didn’t want to be there the first time in that same mans arms, he didn’t want to do what he was about to do, but he couldn’t look at his hoax Mom right now. “Could, could we dance maybe one last time before we go?” When Candi turned to look at Bailey their green eyes met and she gave her friend a small smile, happy she was strong enough to push through how she felt to do something she loved. “Of course.”

When the check was paid Amanda tried to sneak a peak at the cost, but Derrick only pulled the slip of paper closer to his chest. “That is not something to worry about, you can buy me a soup and a sandwich or..” He let loose a sigh. “Soup and a salad for lunch one day at work.” Amanda playfully slapped his shoulder. “That is not even close to being the same.” He shrugged at her rejection of the equivalency. “A meal is a meal.” He smiled before putting forward his card to take care of it. “Well if you have that, I will go check on the girls, they have been gone for a while.” Shifting out of the seat to let Amanda out Derrick stood up and looked around and as Amanda got to her heeled feet, he put one hand around the back of her waist and pointed to the dance floor with the other. “Looks like they are entertaining themselves. Though it looks like your daughter is having less fun with Candace than she did with me.” Amanda watched as Candi led them across the dance floor and every so often Bailey grimace before saying something. She could imagine the girly girl on the dance floor saying “Hey watch my shoes.” and it made her smile. “Well if she isn’t feeling well, we should get going.”

As the four stood by the front of the restaurant one of the valet drivers brought Amanda’s car around. While the man left the driver’s door open, it was Derrick that opened the other for Bailey. The disguised man felt Derrick’s strong arms grip him and hold him before the man’s lips found his forehead. “Thank you for pushing yourself tonight, I hope you feel better soon princess.” Bailey felt his stomach flip a little, it didn’t threaten anything, but it was not happy. Still he returned the hug. “I lost the steak.” For some reason Bailey thought about the steakhouse the man promised and then the steak he ate and then lost tonight. The words were part of a thought on blaming this man for the loss of a perfectly good meal, but it sounded closer to an apology from the now worn out Bailey. “I know, its okay. You will feel better soon.” Bailey thought how he should have kept his mouth shut, as it earned him another kiss on the forehead before he was glomped by the man’s excited daughter. “We will talk tomorrow, but you get some rest. That is not me asking, I need you to feel better quick!” Bailey nodded slightly, deciding this time to say nothing.

Amanda watched the Connors say goodbye to Bailey, before it was her own turn. Derrick waited for his daughter to say her goodbyes before he took the woman’s hand and walked her around to her side of the car. From inside the car Bailey put on his seatbelt, adjusting it a second time so it went across his chest a little better. He couldn’t hear what the two were saying to one another, but he did not expect the driver’s side door to slam shut as Mandy walked backwards into it. He could see the back of his girlfriend pressed up against the vehicle and had a pretty good idea the goodbye had turned PG-13. It wasn’t appropriate behavior at a place like this or for her at all, not when her boyfriend was right here, but again he said nothing. Not yet, when they got home is when the air would be cleared. When the Best woman drove off into the night to head home, Bailey sat in silence as Amanda gave little glances over to him. “I’m sorry you are not feeling well, I will give something for your stomach before bed.” Giving her a sullen look Bailey considered giving her the silent treatment until they got home. “I feel totally fine.” Bailey said figuring it would give her the message that he wasn’t sick, but he also didn’t pick up on how his own personal lexicon had changed over the week either. Amanda smiled at Bailey, even now he was giving her this one last moment with her daughter. It gave her the tiniest fragment of hope that her selfish desire could come true.