Rachel is confused, but accepts it

"Some parents we are," she says softly, in a voice just above a whisper. Her face is obscured by shadow, but her tone is casual, almost conversational. Neutral. Unreadable. "Terrifying our children."

"Yes," you reply cautiously, in an equally quiet voice. "That was probably less than ideal."

"I'm not happy that she thinks you hit me, but I certainly couldn't tell her the real reason I was screaming was that you were fucking me so hard that I was in pain."

Your throat constricts, suddenly hot, as the familiar emotions of guilt and shame and dread wash over you. "Listen ... I ..."

Rachel's finger is suddenly touching your cheek. "Stop," she whispers. "You didn't let me finish."

You close your mouth, and wait. The pause lengthens, stretching into a tense silence. The only sounds you hear are Rachel's measured breath and the pounding of your blood in your ears. Rachel's fingertip feels hot on your cheek. Eventually, Rachel sighs, and begins speaking.

"Before you respond, let me finish. I would ask you not to react before I finish, but we are who we are." Rachel's voice is again, and still, in that unreadable neutral tone. She removes her finger from your cheek, and cradles her hands under her face. "That really hurt, you know. And it was pretty scary - terrifying, really. I didn't know if you were trying to break the bed, or to break me. It felt like ... you felt like a stranger. Never in a million years would I have expected that from you. Kiss me."

This last non sequiter is delivered in the same tone as the rest, and it takes you a moment to even register it as an imperative. Rachel has not moved, and in the dark you cannot tell if she is looking at you or at the bed, much less in what way she wants to be kissed. You lean forward, gently but not tentatively, and give her a soft but firm open-mouthed kiss. Rachel's mouth responds to yours, but she does not move her head or any of the rest of her body. You do not linger, and lie back on your side. Your jaw still aches dully. Another long pause, and then Rachel sighs again.

"I have trouble reconciling that kiss, and the man who has barely looked at me in years, with the man who tried to fuck me in my sleep and then unabashedly fucked me raw. It is all very confusing and honestly I am not sure how I feel about it." Another sigh. "You were right, though. I could use a good fuck, and it was surprising and flattering in addition to ... everything else. I'm not mad at you for doing it ... but don't ever do that again." Another long pause. "I'm finished talking now."

You think about what she said. That? What exactly is the that she was referring to? Rough sex? Sex at all? Now does not seem like the best time to hash this out, though, so after a short delay, you reply with "I understand."

Rachel rolls over, facing away from you. "Good night, Sean."

You lay in the dark for a long time, thinking, not remotely sleepy. After a while, a thought occurs to you and you mutter to yourself: "What 'bad word' did I say?"

Rachel chuckles, apparently not asleep. "You yelled out the phrase 'I FUCK.' My ear is still ringing a little bit." She shakes her head. "Strange man."

Not long after that, her breathing shifts to the steady rhythm of the sleeping. You do not fall asleep for a long time.

You have 3 XP, -1 Hard, +3 Hot, +1 Cool, -1 Control, Cunnilingus, and Take Direction (Kate). Desire levels: Kate +1, Rachel -1, Maria +0.