RUN

As you sit there stunned, watching your brother suck off what you assume is Coach Johnson, you're not exactly sure what to say. Thoughts of a cheerleader slut glucking through the halls was your favorite thought in the world other than it not being Jessica, but Kaleb? What the fuck man? Look, I understand he's not the most masculine of us, but I didn't think he was the "Cheerleader skirt self-tonsil slamming people*.

So THAT is why he keeps being bad at football. Man, I thought it was just a lack of skill and workouts. It's actually starting to explain a lot.

As you watch the coach push your brother, or "Kaley" backwards onto his ass, Kaleb backs up out of sight. Replaced by Coach Johnson bottomless walking after him. Whelp, that's not great.

"I have no idea what to do in this scenario. This is fucked up. I have to get the hell out of here." You think almost out loud.

As you turn to leave, you forget just how squeaky this floor actually is. With a turn of your shoe toward the exit.... Squeak...

Fuck. Run! You take off as quickly as you can. NFL Combines never seen this particular event, but I bet you'd get drafted pretty high into the 2nd round. As you run out of the locker room, down the hall, out the thankfully "only locked from outside" push doors of the school, and sprint to your truck, all you can think is "Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck". A nice step cadence to follow for sure.

You hit the truck running and bang into the side of the door, door open, jump in, key in, blare music. GO GO GO.

One one-thousand, Two one-thousand, Three one-thousand. You count yourself to control your breathing. Heart pounding in your ears and chest thumping like a damn drum. "What the fuck man. That was close!" you say out loud. Drowned out by Warrant singing "....I scream, you scream, we all scream for her!". I gotta rethink these song choices.

After a few minutes, you settle down, wipe the sweat off your nervous face and breathe slow. "Alright, play it off, I didn't see shit, I didn't go anywhere, I'm good." You recite in your head for yourself to believe. You pull out your phone and haphazardly open up Facebook. It was already on Jessica's photos. Trying to recalibrate yourself, you start flipping through them until you get to a good particular bikini photo of hers.

"Hey, I said let's go.", you jump out of your world and the phone flies out of your hand. You look right and see Kaleb standing in the window of the passenger seat as he tries the locked truck door again. "Fuck dude, you came out of nowhere!" You exclaim. "Yeah, sorry it took so long. Let's go home." he says almost seemingly a mile away mentally.

As you fish your phone from the floor, you see you hit "like" on Jessica's bikini photo. Long enough for her to get the notification.

"Well, shit."