Quite a lot actually.

With the exception of Katy Perry’s role of Jovie, not all that much changes. You do add a few sexy cameos, but not too many.

You start the movie as normal, but when you have Buddy meet his dad at work, you have cast Eve Lawrence as his secretary. You have her look great, as she usually does, but you have her as a terrible secretary.

It becomes an early plot point that she constantly makes mistakes, but for some reason Buddy’s dad Walter refuses to replace her.

You show a quick scene where he tells his wife he is working late, and when he is still on speaker with his wife, you see Eve Lawrence walk in seductively, get down between his knees and lower her head into his lap.

You show an erotic and just out of focus blowjob, while he talks about how hard his day has been. He drops sexual innuendo a minute later as he bends Eve Lawrence over his desk and fucks her doggy style.

You hear his wife ask when he is coming home in a sexy Latin accent, and he replies, “Don’t worry baby, I am cumming real soon, I promise. We are working on something important, and I just have to pound it out baby.”

The scene here isn’t very long, but you do make it pretty sexy.

You then show Buddy walking around NYC, but the scene lasts quite a bit longer, and into the night, as he now spends his first night in New York City outside, rather than in Gimbels.

Towards the end of the scene, as he is looking for his father and someplace to sleep, he walks up on two prostitutes, played by Rosario Dawson and Halle Berry. They look very sexy, dressed the part in very revealing clothing.

They mock his outfit, and he is completely joyous and nice to them, as he always tries to be. “Want me to suck on your big candy cane?” Halle says in a sexy voice, “I bet you have some sweet frosting inside for me to suck out...”

Rosario Dawson answers by offering to suck on his big snowballs, which confuses him. He just doesn’t get the sexual innuendo, he thanks them for being so nice and moves on as the laugh.

The next day, when Buddy the elf meets Jovie, he is interested in more than just Christmas spirit.

You decide to have Katie Perry wear the same exact outfit that Zooey Deschanel wore, making it a good deal smaller, and a good deal tighter. It looks really good, her breasts are straining the material, and you have her complain to her boss about getting a new uniform in many different scenes.

You have the shower scene, except this time you show the singing actress fully nude, and of course it is Katy Perry. You have Buddy sing with her, and surprise her, and she responds about as she did in the original movie.

Later Buddy is brought to meet the family, and Buddy’s stepmom is now played by Salma Hayek. This is Salma in her absolute prime, as you give Salma her body and youth from 1996 or so, around the time she made Desperado.

Salma insists that they take care of his son, insisting that family is the most important thing in the world in her sexy accent. She offers her older husband Walter anything he wants in bed, in exchange for letting Buddy stay, and he accepts.

You show a brief scene of Water Hobbs fucking Salma Hayek in the ass on his bed, before cumming on her face. “Thanks babe,” he says as he walks to the bathroom. “Not even our anniversary, Merry Christmas to me…”

You later show Salma checking out Buddy’s height, and glancing at the bulge in his tights seductively. She obviously has more in mind than him getting to know his dad.

Buddy goes on his date with Katy Perry, and it is as cute as it was in the original movie, but you spice up the scene where they kiss, with Katy Perry and Buddy the elf making out pretty intensely.

You have her invite him up to her apartment, and you show Buddy’s amazement as he experiences sex for the first time.

He experiences his first tits, but they are Katy’s, and you have enhanced them. They look spectacular. He barely knows what to do with them but she shows him, and Buddy sucks her tits hard.

When Katy sucks his dick, the look on his face is one of wonder. You show Katy sucking a cock that is not clearly in frame, trying to keep this somewhat true to your new vision of PG-13.

You then show Katy riding Buddy cowgirl style, squeezing her breasts and enjoying herself, and when he orgasms it is comical rather than sexy. He ends up laughing with joy.

The movie changes a bit, now when Walter’s dad calls Miles Finch, you see his side of the conversation. He puts them on speakerphone as he answers, and you show he is having sex with a beautiful woman as he answers.

You see him from the waist up for most of the phone call, as he angrily demands various things from the publishing company.

When you finally pan out, you now show he is fucking Denise Richards doggy style. His small frame stands out against her voluptuous curves, and he is managing his call with Buddy’s dad as he fucks her.

In a tense moment of the call, you see the people on the conference room thinking he has hung up, but you switch to Miles Finch’s perspective as he pulls out, flips Denise Richards over and cums all over her face.

It is a spectacle as the little person rubs his cock on a beauty like Denise Richards, covering her full pouting lips.

Miles them finishes the call, and drops a few hundred dollars on Denise Richards, now obviously a paid whore, and walks out.

Later in the day Walter is arguing with his wife Salma Hayek about what to do with the man in the elf costume.

For the first day, Salma agrees to stay home with him and miss work, handling her clients from home. Just as in the movie Walter tells Buddy to lose the tights, and just like in the movie he drops them on the spot.

This time Walter’s wife’s reaction is different, seeing Buddy’s naked cock out in the open, bigger than her husband’s when it is hard.

She bites her lip, and then excuses herself, finding Buddy some of her husbands pajamas to wear, which fit comically poorly.

She makes him some hot cocoa, and then comes back in a little bit later dressed in a sexy Santa outfit she bought for her husband some years before.

Not being new it is even tighter than normal, and this is 1996 Salama Hayek, one of the better bodies ever seen on an actress. She fills it out very well.

Her breasts are barely contained by it, with some nipple showing, and the tiny skirt doesn’t even cover her ass, and her shaven pussy is visible at times.

Buddy is very happy, so see someone else interested in elf culture, and asks her if she is sure she doesn’t have a little elf in her.

“I might not yet, but I hope I have a lot of elf in me someday Buddy,” Salma replies in her sexy Latin accent.

The scene transitions to Walter getting to work and getting ready to meet Miles finch, and then transitions back to Salma still in her sexy Santa outfit. She is fucking Buddy reverse cowgirl on the sofa, with her breasts exposed, and Buddy holding her hips tightly, fucking her hard.

This scene lasts about five minutes, with Buddy flipping her around to suck her breasts, and then bending her over the sofa and nailing the Latin beauty doggy style.

When he is close, he starts to grunt comically, and Salma pivots and drops to her knees. “Cum in my mouth you big fucking sexy elf!”

When Buddy cums it is a torrent of cum, a massive cumshot. Spurt after spurt lands on her face and open mouth, and she smiles wide.

“Buddy, why does this taste like frosting?” Salma asks, licking some of his cum off of her finger.

“Byproduct of the four elvish food groups I guess,” he says in his happy tone.

Salma is a very happy and very sticky mess, covered in his cum, which she is happily cleaning off with her fingers and her mouth.

She sends him away with a big kiss, still not fully dressed, and Buddy walks to his dad’s work, and the scene where he throws his hat and talks about being in love.

You don’t make it obvious who he is in love with, his girlfriend or his stepmom, and it is on purpose. Buddy doesn’t know either.

As in the regular movie, Buddy offends Miles Finch, who beats him up and storms out. This scene plays out exactly as before, but you now follow Miles to his Mercedes limousine, and you find that he has two prostitutes waiting for him, Halle Berry and Rosario Dawson.

He is frustrated, and just wants to see something beautiful, so he orders the two women to get naked and fuck each other in front of him.

“What about you Miles?” Halle asks, “are you going to play with us baby?”

“One of you two is getting fucked in the ass, the other is eating the cum, I just haven’t decided who will be who yet,” Miles says roughly. “Now shut up and get to it, I want to see you two do everything.”

The limo pulls away, and you see a quick compilation of Halle and Rosario fucking, a lesbian sex scene that would make any softcore porno movie proud, which leans toward hardcore.

You see them kiss each other sloppily, you see lots of boob sucking, some beautiful tribbing, and then an amazing sideways 69 position where you show each woman’s tongue buried inside of the other.

This isn’t simulated, and it is in clear focus. They are eating each other our out as if they have only ever loved women in their lives, and it is erotic and beautiful.

Finally Miles flips Halle Berry over, pushes her head down between Rosario’s toned legs, and he pushes his cock into her ass.

You show what is a very kinky sight, the little person pounding away on Halle Berry’s amazing ass, and you show subtle penetration. There is no doubt he has his cock in her ass.

And you show Halle hungrily eating our Rosario Dawson, who looks like she is orgasming.

When he cums, Miles Finch pulls out and puts his cock into Rosario’s open mouth, filling her mouth with his cum.

“Now share it, don’t be greedy,” he says, and the two beautiful prostitutes make out with his cum in their mouths.

A few minutes later, he is dressed and drops a few hundred dollars on each of them, and leaves them naked in the back of the limo, storming off to make a flight at the airport.

Most of the rest of the movie goes as normal. The family looks for and finds Buddy, Santa needs his help but gets the sleigh flying, with Katy Perry and Salma Hayek leading the crowd in a Christmas carol.

As the crowd cheers as Santa flies away, you show Halle Berry and Rosario Dawson, not dressed for their work as prostitutes, but out Christmas shopping in normal clothing.

As they see Santa and all the happy people they smile at each other and hug, them share a deep and loving kiss.

The last scene you change is Buddy introducing his daughter Susie to papa elf, but his wife Jovie is not in the scene.

“So where is Jovie?” Papa elf asks, looking for his wife. “And I thought your dad and stepmom were coming?”

“Mom came along, she is hanging out with the elves, Walter couldn’t make it. We have a new book coming out, he is making sure it all goes well.” Buddy replies, and papa elf makes a face.

He knows Santa and the elves better than Buddy does. And his father is working on a new book, but also spending time with Eve Lawrence, his assistant that came over with him to his new company. And they are spending their time fucking.

You change the scene to Santa, walking up behind a naked Katy Perry, dropping his red pants. “Someone has been very naughty Jovie, someone might just end up on the naughty list.”

She smiles and looks back at him.

“So is that you Jovie, have you been a naughty girl? Would you rather be a good girl?” Santa asks, placing his hands on her round and muscular ass.

“Yes Santa, that is what I want for Christmas, to be your good girl,” Katy replies, as Santa pushes his cock into her doggy style.

Santa spanks her beautiful ass as he begins to fuck her, “I will never get too old for this.”

You pan away from Santa fucking Katy Perry, and over to Salma Hayek with the elves, and it is quite a kinky scene.

You see Salma Hayek naked, and you see elves all around her, naked as well. She is bent over a little table, and one after another, the elves fuck her for a minute or so and then move on. Another line of them are rotating past her mouth, fucking her mouth for a minute or so as well.

Some are tiny little dicks, some of the elves are bigger, but she enjoys them all. As you pan away from this scene, you show them start to cum on her face and into her mouth. A lot of the elves are here doing this.

And Salma has her mouth open to catch all of it that she can, as their cum has a consistency and flavor of frosting. It is amazing.

The scene then pans back to Santa pounding Katy Perry hard, giving her all he has. When he is finally finished, he cums inside of her. He gives her an approving spank on the ass, and then tells her to get back to Buddy and their child.

“I need to go check on your mother in law, make sure she is getting on on with the elves,” Santa says with a laugh. “I might need to see if she needs to be on the naughty list as well.”

The movie finally closes as Buddy narrates his new book. As he narrates, the scene shows Buddy’s room and his small bed, and you see that he is sharing it with both Katy Perry and Salma Hayek, and you see that all three are naked and sleeping.

You see that Katy and Salma are in a loving embrace, with Salma holding one of Katy Perry’s large breasts in her hand, sleeping with a big smile on her face.

You wonder what a sequel might look like. The one they never made.

The End.

Merry Christmas :)