Quick! Tie her up!

You grab the golden lasso from her belt and quickly tie her hands behind her back. She’s still out cold. Remembering back to when you dated that one submissive chick, you run the rope down to tie her ankles, expertly pulling the role taut to bind her in a smooth hogtie. She moans slightly but doesn’t wake as you shove your handkerchief in her mouth, and you use more of the lasso to secure the gag. (Is it your imagination or does the rope get longer the more of it you use?)

Knowing you don’t have much time before emergency services and/or her teammates come looking, you jimmy open the trunk of a nearby BMW, lay the sleeping heroine inside, and close the trunk.

…and not a minute too soon, as a red blur streaks through the hole in the wall, around the garage, down the ramp, and back up, stopping right in front of you to reveal none other than the Scarlet Speedster known as the Flash!

“Sorry to bother you Sir, but did you happen to notice if a big, beautiful Amazon in red and blue passed this way?”

Seeing two superheroes in one day would be exciting under any conditions, but this is Next Level! You hope your overall anxiety masks your guilt as you decide to brazen things out. “Notice her? Hard to miss her! She slammed through the wall there and totaled this car. She looked pissed!”

“She was awake?” Flash asked.

“By the time I got here she was. Flew back out that hole, I assumed back to rejoin your fight or whatever.”

There was another blur and Flash was holding an earpiece in his fingers. “Her League communicator. Must’ve been knocked out by the impact, so she couldn’t report in. But where would she have gone?”

You shrug at the rhetorical question, and fight the urge to add a bunch of unnecessary details – simpler is usually better. “She didn’t say. Back to the fight, I dunno?” It sounds lame, but it feels like something a clueless normal would say right about now.

Flash gives you a quick stare, and you see it in his eyes as you are recategorized from Potential Witness to Useless Bystander. A split second later and he’s already forgotten about you, a per forma “Thank you for your assistance, bill the League for repairs” hanging in the air as he streaks back out of the garage.

You can barely believe that worked! You had always heard Flash wasn’t the brightest bulb, but still. Thanks god it wasn’t the Bat who came looking for her!