Manic Monday...

Barbara sat on Dick’s lap while Kara sat across the table from them. The bitter winds had meant that they were not stocked by camera men for the fashion magazines, but also that Barbara and Kara were wearing leather jean style pants rather than latex. Kara didn’t need her Kryptonian super-sense to know that Dick was enjoying Barbara’s wardrobe and her being so close to him.

“So,” Barbara said as she sipped her tea, “Who did Bruce sneak off with last night?”

They didn’t have paparazzi around, but they spoke in code since they were sure the other people in the coffee shop were trying to listen in.

“Not sure, but he wasn’t happy about it,” Kara said as she picked up her coffee cup.

“Most likely it was to see Lucius,” Dick said as he put his mug down and wrapped his arms around Barbara’s waist, “I think it was another Brooklyn deal. You know the one that went south because the other people screwed up…”

“Oh and all the investigators came to ask questions,” Kara noted.

“I am sure that will leave Bruce annoyed,” Barbara noted.

“Heck of a mood killer, federal agents showing up to ask questions over cocktail hour with the ladies,” Dick did an impression of Bruce’s Fop act.

“I wonder how that will go…” Barbara mused.

*

Raven and Rose were sitting at the table as Jason and Megan walked from the food line in the cafeteria. Raven was reading a book while she ate her fries, Rose was watching Megan walking towards her. Both Jason and Megan leaned in to kiss their girlfriends, before taking a seat next to them.

“Hope there are no hard feelings,” Jason said to Rose.

“So it was Dead Wayne that put you up to it?” Rose asked.

“Yeah,” Raven said, “Jason isn’t just a random grab ass.”

“What is this ‘Hatter Protocol’?” Megan asked looking at the message on her Titan phone.

“Not sure, but I think this has to do with Bruce getting called to the office last night,” Jason shrugged.

“It seems that we will start preparing for fighting each other…” Rose said looking at the messages.

“It is a variation of the Pycho-Pirate protocols,” Raven noted, “I read it while we covered Poe in English class…”

“Personal favorite?” Rose asked.

“Everyone assumed I read Poe so much I ended having to read his collected works just to know what they were talking about,” Raven rolled her eyes.

*

Kara was unsure what was scarier, how livid Diana was, how livid Lois was or how funny Selina found all of this… Kara had been called in when Bruce had linked up with Clark and Lois to see the security camera of their missing time, the in-person meeting with ‘Agent Diana Prince’, and the trip to Selina’s offices down town where she nominally ran her charity solicitation racket from. Diana had punched a hole in the marble column of the pent house. Bruce didn’t even bat an eye at the display. Fox had been there and simply started sketching out numbers for the cost to replace the column.

Fox was looking at Selina with absolute confusion as Selina was laughing and going on about the parody of the Paris Hilton Sex-tape.

“Right here, right here, this is where the cell phone should ring,” Selina cackled.

“Miss Kyle I don’t see how this is funny,” Lucius said.

“Oh come on Mister Fox,” Selina giggled, “Haven’t you seen a bored porn star faking it for the paycheck? Bruce, when was the last time you saw me this ‘into it’ with you?”

“I am rethinking what your pleasures are since you seem to be so familiar with being a porn star,” Bruce said flatly.

“Hint stud, you know how to use your cock for more that urination…” Selina snickered, “And how many times have you made me squirt?”

“OK,” Kara said, “TMI! Lets get back to what you do remember, please?”

“I have to agree,” Fox said with his hand over his face.

“I decided to come have a look at the toys Mister Tetch was working on, I disabled most of the security systems and dropped in to the lab for a look see, that was when spit-curl and the glamazon showed up in their 9-5 suits and tried to arrest me… frankly it was kind of insulting…” Selina started to digress.

“Selina…” Bruce said as he pinched the bridge of his nose.

“Yeah, so I mouthed off with them, and then they tried to grab me…” Selina continued, “I bounced around and then I remember bouncing off a console and feeling like I was on a porn set for hours.”

“You had no memories of what happened in that time?” Kara asked.

“Nope,” Selina was completely honest.

*

“So where is he?” Dick asked as he paced around the cave.

“Unknown,” Bruce’s voice came back over the speaker phone built into the computer terminal, “Alfred Check on Belle Reves complex. Kara what do you have on the airspace tracker?”

“Half an hour ago, a government registered S-76 left the hospital with a Medical Transport priority transfer to the USNS Mercy in the sound. Looks like it diverted to a small airfield on Long Island south of the sound,” Kara read the information from the Air Way tracking service.

“And with in fifteen minutes of landing, at least five fixed wing aircraft left the air field that that the S-76 landed at?” Bruce’s voice guessed.

“Seven,” Kara noted, “Three to Louisiana, two to Northern Michigan, and two to Georgia.”

*

The Recording starts with a single ‘Human’ voice.

“Good Afternoon Mister Tetch,” the woman’s voice jolted Jervis.

There are noises of the man struggling in his bed on the audio file.

“You made a very nasty enemy Mister Tetch,” the woman said, “As some of my family would say, ‘Ya done fucked up boy.’ And you really have.”

“I… I… ah,” Jervis stammered.

“Innocent men don’t get thrashed by the Gargoyle Mister Tetch,” the woman intoned, “And you got thrashed by the Gargoyle.”

A long heavy silence hung in the air.

“Do you want to know why you are marked by the Gargoyle for pain?” the woman asked.

“What could I have done?” Jervis asked.

“Your little stunt with the mind control pornography. Think about it,” The woman said, “How often do you seen Federal Agents or the Justice League in Gotham?”

“Almost never,” Jervis said, “Besides the Federal Prosecutor’s office, I can’t recall any federal agencies on the local news. I only see those superheroes in other cities…”

“Because this is the Gargoyle’s territory,” the woman snapped, “And you just mind fucked a federal agent into being your porn star giving the DHS, DOJ, FBI, BATF, and everyone else carte blanche to come into Gotham to find out what the FUCKING HELL JERVIS TETCH IS FUCKING WITH!”

There was a long cold fear chilled silence.

“What’s going to happen to me?” Jervis asked quietly.

“PAIN,” The woman’s words dripped with an ominous venom, “Killing you is easy, I carried this little number right throw the metal detectors, not a peep out of the machines. Two shots to head will make sure no one ever learns your secretes, but I could just open the window and toss you out. People do lots of suicidal things when confronted with Federal Agents. I could pop your head off with my thighs, but I am not going to let you anywhere that close to my panties you disgusting pervert. Then again, who’s to say you aren’t already dead, in a few hours for reason completely unknown, your heart will just stop and no attempts to revive you will work. I might even let you walk out of here, let you think you got away with it, until one day, you get yanked into and alley way and find yourself as another nameless dead body ‘Killed Just like the Waynes’ on a gun violence fact sheet.”

“Oh god,” Jervis whimpered.

“But the Gargoyle isn’t so merciful,” The woman continued, “I am sure you don’t need to be a doctor to see what is wrong with this X-ray…”

“It looks like a pile of bone shards after someone’s dog got into chicken wings…” Jervis said.

“That is what the Gargoyle did to the left femur of the driver. And that is pretty much what it did to all the members of the Jokers crew when he last broke out of Arkham. Since the beginning of October they have all been in full body casts.”

“So…”

“You never saw what beat you up and knocked you unconscious did you?” The woman asked.

“I was pelted with broke smoke detectors,” Jervis admitted.

“And the one that connected with your face knocked you out cold,” the woman completed the thought, “While you were being beaten up without even knowing what was happening, your notes, computers and hard drives were all torched upstairs, nothing left to try recovering.”

“Everything?” Jervis asked with a note of terror in his wavering voice.

“Everything at home, your bank safe deposit box, the storage unit you rented in your step-father’s name, everything… well except for the stuff at the Wayne building, and all of that is now turned over to Agent Prince’s investigation. She didn’t even need a warrant to get Mister Fox’s personal co-operation,” the woman chuckled.

Jervis let out a pained gasp.

“That’s right, your life is over. Even if you take what you have in your head, do you think governments would be willing to risk you operating outside of their control? Possibly compromising their people? Do you think the Justice League would mind dropping you off on the corner of Crime Alley at two A.M. with a shirt that read ‘Gargoyle bait’ on the back?” the woman’s chuckle was now a haughty laugh.

“Oh no, no, no, no,” Jervis stammered, “They wouldn’t…”

“You heard the rumor about the Red Head in the glass room in the genetics lab?” the Woman said, “The Justice League didn’t have a problem with kidnapping Doctor Woodrue and turning him over to a court for what he did to the red head. What makes you think that they wouldn’t turn you over if the Gargoyle demanded your head?”

“But I…” Jervis stammered.

“What is worse, genetics tampering or mind fucking? Does it matter?” the woman snapped.

“Oh god, I…”

“Don’t bother,” the woman said, “I will be in touch. Nurse? Make sure he is connected to a heart monitor.”

“Yes Ma’am,” a new, younger woman’s voice came in with the sound of a door opening and closing.

There was the sound of someone checking an medical monitoring machine.

“Looks like your heart is stable mister Tetch,” the new woman said, “I need to check your temperature, hold still, this goes in the ear. Ninety-Eight-point-One… very good.”

“Who was that?” Jervis asked, “What is your name?”

“My name is Nurse Alice, that was Miss Waller,” Alice said with a smile on her voice.

“Alice?” Jervis asked unsure, “You are much nicer than that Miss Waller…”

“Yes, now Jar-vise was it?” Alice asked.

“Jar-vis,” Jervis corrected her.

“Jervis, I have to ask, you what happened, you were found slumped over on the ground in front of your home by the fire department,” Alice asked.

“I was beaten up and knocked out,” Jervis said truthfully.

“Last time I saw bruising like that was from a hockey player,” Alice noted.

“Well would you believe I was pelted with smoke detectors?” Jervis said, “Of course not, that sounds daft.”

“Well considering your bruises and the shards of plastic in your arm, I think they must have been broken,” Alice said, “Still they were chucked with a lot of force for the amount of bruising. I am going to help you lean forward, I need to check a bandage on the back of your head.”

“Bandage?” Jervis asked.

“Yes, just relax, looks good…” Nurse Alice commented, “According to the notes who ever pulled you out of your home wasn’t to careful, it looks like your head smacked into a nail or something on the way out. Left a puncture wound, and according to this X-ray, the tip broke off in your head. It seems to have missed everything important, and we have already started you on Tetanus shots.”

“The nail is still in my head?” Jervis asked.

“Yes, don’t worry, it’s not like it’s a bomb or something like that,” the mischievous smile is auditable on Alice’s voice, “Mind control, mini-bombs in people’s heads, cyanide teeth aren’t real, they only happen in spy movies, right?”

“Right…” Jervis said.

“Well you seem to be in order for right now… I will be back in a few…” Alice said.

There is the sound of mechanical clicks and beeps.

“Oh and Jervis,” Alice’s tone was like a judge handing down a death sentence, “If you ever disrespect Director Waller it will be ‘off with your head,’ got it?”

“Ye…. Yesss, miss Alice…” Jervis stuttered in fear.

*

Kara took off the head phones and looked at Bruce as he continued to listen. Jason was beating Zogger to death while Dick was helping. Alfred came back from a separate terminal with a report in his hand.

Kara and Bruce took off their head phones and looked at Alfred.

“What have you got Alfred?” Dick asked.

“Where do we have to go to break every bone in Tetch’s spine?” Jason barked.

“Not a possibility,” Alfred squashed the idea, “It seems that Miss Waller has absconded mister Tetch to Belle Reaves.”

“I haven’t found anything on this Belle Reve place?” Kara said looking up from her terminal.

“That is because it is not a prison,” Alfred said, “Technically, Belle Reaves is a special advanced training facility for Department of Prisons personal. It is not listed as a prison, and in fact they regularly hire various contractors to remodel mock cell blocks to do testing and evaluations on design layouts, personal are shipped in and out on a regular basis for training courses, all the elements to hide a very secret prison population in plain sight…”

“So what is this Waller going to do with him?” Dick managed to knock a head off one of the attack-dummies.

“Unsure,” Bruce said, “But it is clear that he will not being doing anything without Amanda Waller personally getting it approved by the President of the US.”

*

“Fuck,” the thug shouted as the man to his left disappeared, “It wasn’t even planned…”

The pair of feet came down on him with enough force to throw the thug face first into the brick wall, knocking him out cold. Nightwing quickly had a black bag over the man’s head and added a few kidney shots for good measure before using the zip-ties to secure the thug.

A hand on the shoulder spared the thug from additional kicks to the gut. Batman held out a hand with a finger pointing up. Nightwing nodded and shot a line up to the roofs above Gotham.

“Nightwing,” Batman intoned, “I have a new mission for you… I want you to be part of a sting operation, you have already been following the targets, and it looks like they are coming to Gotham…”

*

“My legs! I lost my Legs!” Patrick ‘Eel’ O’Brian shouted.

“What the hell!” Hal shouted as he ran into the room, “What happened? What… What the hell?”

Hal had made a torniquet with his power ring for the stumps where Plastic Man’s Legs had been when he noticed the mini toes in the stump… Hal put his hand on the puddle of blood and grimaced… it wasn’t blood, it was corn syrup with red food coloring…

“What the hell are you doing Eel?” Hal stood up.

“Practicing being an amputee,” The elastic superhero smiled, “I got a message that Gotham needs a plant Arms Dealer… and Patrick, the Eel O’Brian has the right street creds… but maybe missing legs would explain why I haven’t been pulling heists.”

Hal stopped himself before wiping the corn-syrup covered hand over his face. He then looked around for somewhere to wash off his hands.

“Well I guess it makes sense,” Hal said, “And you are the sort of clown to ham it up…”

“Yeah,” Eel smiled, “Call for someone else to help you in the hallway, I want to get a few more people before the syrup is too dry.”

“Ok, but you are mopping it up,” Hal said.

Hal went into the hallway of the Watch Tower Space Station and looked for another victim to prank…