He's everybody's friend.

First things first, let's figure out what this argument is about.

“I just don't understand why you're here!” says Thad.

“We live here!” says girl in the white top who was pointing at him.

“Yes, I know, but...” Thad looks completely confused.

The girls all look at me, so I put a hand on Thad's shoulder and say, “Come on, dude. Let's give them a little time to breathe.”

Thad turns to me as if he's relieved to see a familiar face. We turn and walk back towards our room. The girl in the white top sits down on the end of the couch next to her friends and turns towards the TV. Then Krys sits down on her lap and wraps her arms around the girl's neck.

“Hey, ladies!” says Krys. “What are we watching?”

“Real Housewives,” answers the smiling girl in the yellow dress.

“Real Housewives of where?”

She shrugs here shoulders. “Does it matter?”

“Good point,” says the girl in white.

I go into the bedroom with Thad and close the door. “Okay, what's going on?"

The little guy looks stressed as hell. “The girls... they... live here, right?”

Sure, absolutely, they've lived here for a whole three minutes. “Of course!”

His eyes get that far away look again. “Devin, do the names Hunter, Blake, and Cody mean anything to you?”

They do. Those are the names of the other guys who lived here before. Guys who worked at the country club with us. Guys I've seen Thad drain beer bongs with. “Nope. Who are they?”

“I don't know, I don't know! I just feel like... those names are all I think of when I look at those girls, and I feel like those girls don't really live here and I'm-!”

“Hold on, whoa, buddy. Breathe!” I put my hands on his shoulders. “Okay, let's do a little exercise to clear your mind. The girl in the yellow dress, tell me her name and what she does at the club.”

He closes his eyes and thinks. “That's Mia. She's a valet. She's really nice, always smiles at everyone.”

“Alright, and the girl in the striped spaghetti straps top?”

“That's Amber. She works in the restaurant with you. She likes you a lot better than me.”

“And the girl who was yelling at you?”

“That's Kylie. She's a valet. Her super hot mom comes by the club pretty often.”

“There, do you feel more focused now?”

He takes a couple more breaths and opens his eyes. “Yeah, I guess I do. Thanks, Devin.”

“Hey, my pleasure.” Especially since that was a super helpful summary of stuff I'm already supposed to know. “Why don't you stay in here for a little while and let the girls cool down, okay?”

He nods and sits down on his bunk.

I head into the living room. Krys is sitting in the lap of the girl in the white top, so I'll start with her. “Hey, Kylie, you're holding onto my girlfriend pretty tight.”

She shrugs, but doesn't look away from the TV as she answers me. “I thought she might need some extra companionship, since whatever you guys did in the bedroom only lasted three minutes before you finished moaning.”

The other three girls, yes, including Krys, all make cheering noises for her sick burn. They're laughing and smiling, though. It seems pretty good natured.

“So, did you have a nice date?” asks the one in the striped top. Amber. She's smiling at me pretty sweetly.

“Yeah, um, it was nice. Except we had to cut it a little short because someone...” No, wait, there's no way I should tell them what Krys did in the jewelry store. These are her friends, according to the order I gave her. They'd take her side. “...I mean me, not someone, I left my wallet at home, so I couldn't buy Krys the flowers she deserves.”

“Awww!” says Amber. “You're so nice! I wish I had a guy as nice as you!”

The one in the yellow dress, Mia, turns to her and says, “Half the guys at the club have asked you out!”

Amber blushes. Wow, she's really pretty when she blushes. “Yeah, but they're just interested in hooking up. None of them want to take a girl on a nice, romantic date, like Devin.”

Krys looks at Amber a little suspiciously. She hops up from the couch and says, “The date's not over! We still have to go to dinner! It's my turn to pay and your turn to pick, so where are we going, sweety?”

She puts her arms around me and smiles. Okay, “sweety” might be an improvement over “white boy”. Weirdly, I still don't like it as much as “dumbass”.

Krys and I head out. We eat cheap fast food, walk around the park, and make out under a tree until she needs to go home. It's a nice night.