11. Stress

The sun is slowly beginning to descend outside as you anxiously pace around your living room. While you haven't seen River since he left earlier your neighbor did return after a couple of hours. You had been hoping he would stop to talk with you when he got back but he instead rode past your property and headed towards the town. Half eaten dinner grows cold in the table in the kitchen as you continue circling the small room. A moment later you quickly rush to the window when you hear the sound of a rider approaching. Your stomach drops slightly when see it's not River returning but instead Austin arriving. Pausing for a moment, you take a deep breath in, then open the door. Austin walks slowly and his gaze is cast down at the ground before him as he approaches. When he finally looks up you grow slightly worried when you see the stern expression on his face. He moves past you and walks inside before you have a chance to invite him in.

Slowly closing the door you watch as he moves to stand before the fire. Shadows dance along his back as he stares ahead and a deep silence hangs uncomfortably in the air. Finally, he turns around and his expression seems torn between frustration and concern. "I hear you had a visitor." His usually calm voice is now slightly rigid and almost accusatory. Shifting slightly, you frown, before cautiously replying, "That's correct." Shaking his head, Austin removes his hat, before sitting down. "I spoke with the Chaplin before coming here." This catches your attention, and you slowly move over to the seat next to Austin, while he continues. "The church isn't rebuilt yet but he said he's available next weekend. Once that's settled we can start looking for a buyer for this place." Cocking your head in confusion you can't help yourself from blurting out. "A buyer? I didn't say I was going to sell the stead."

Austin seems slightly taken aback by your outburst but quickly regains his composure before stating. "I know this place likely means a lot to you but it's money pit and not worth the time it would take to make it profitable. Once we're married the deed will be passed over to me and this is nonnegotiable." Crossing your arms over your chest you stare back at Austin while thinking over his words. You always assumed Austin would want to sell the property after your marriage but you figured he would have at least discussed it with you first. The past three months have been the first time in your life when you haven't had a direct male figure making all of the major decisions. It slipped your mind that once you're wed to Austin you'll lose the autonomy you're growing accustomed to. "Why the sudden rush?" You finally ask after a moment and study Austin carefully while waiting for his answer. Austin's eyes glance over at the window for a moment before looking back at you. "Do you even know who that man was?"

Your brow furrows in confusion as you open your mouth to reply but he cuts you off as he continues. ''He's wanted in several towns and was run off your neighbors property a few days ago after he was caught hanging around their barn." The pit in your stomach grows deeper at his words confirm your earlier worries. Agreeing to let River stay for any amount of time had been a bad idea and you feel guilty for potentially putting yourself in danger. "When were you going to tell me?" The bags under his eyes have grown slightly darker and you know he's been pushing himself too hard lately. His question hangs in the air and you realize you don't have an answer. "I don't feel that I can trust you." You find yourself admitting and quickly look down to avoid his gaze. Austin rubs a had across the back of his neck before exhaling deeply. "I guess that's understandable." His words are surprising and you look up to survey his cloudy expression.

The floorboards creek slightly as you get up and move to stand in front of Austin. His skin is rough but warm under your fingertips as you brush his hair out of his face. "I want to know you better." He looks up at you for a moment after you speak then slowly stands up as well. You feel his hand on your waist and he pulls you closer to him. His deep kiss leaves you breathless and burning for more. Placing your hands on his chest your run them down along his shirt and stop near it's buttons. Austin pulls away from you and somewhat reluctantly takes a step back. "I'm sorry." He says after seeing the hurt look on your face, his voice sounds pained, and almost frustrated. "You don't understand the expectations I'm held to. I need the people in town to respect and trust me, I can't risk doing anything... improper." Nodding to indicate your understanding you take a step forward and place a hand on his arm. You're just about to speak when the sound of someone riding up the road catches your attention. Austin steps around you and walks over to look out the window. You see him frown slightly before pulling away and going to open the door.

You recognize one of his deputies as the rider stops at the gate and quickly dismounts. Austin stays standing in front of the open door, blocking you from also stepping outside, as the man runs up. "Sheriff!" He's slightly at of breath when he arrives and pauses a moment to catch his breath before continuing. "The jailhouse is on fire." Glancing over in the direction of the town you can make out a small column of smoke wafting up. Austin curses under his breath before turning around and looking down at you. "Stay here." His voice is authoritative and sharp but you notice a flash of worry in his eyes as he speaks. You nod and stand in the doorway watching as he makes his way to his horse. The evening has cooled down slightly and you decide to sit out on your porch until the smoke clears. It's unlikely Austin will return after the fire is extinguished but you hope he does. Austin seemed to finally be opening up a bit and you feel as if you already understand him a little more. An hour or so passes and finally you see the smoke in the distance slowly reside before completely disappearing.

The night is growing late but the bright moon illuminates the majority of the area before you. You're contemplating going back inside when the flicker of a shadow in the distance catches your attention. Turning quickly you're just able to make out one of the barn doors slowly slipping shut. Trying to keep quiet you quickly go inside and grab your rifle before heading towards the barn. The dirt road provides a soft enough surface for your footsteps to remain silent as you make your way up. You can see a dim light flickering under the doors before you slowly pull one open ajar. The area in front of you is illuminated by a soft light but you can't see anyone. Pressing your hand against the door you push a little more but quickly freeze when the door emits a soft groan. You start to step back from the door but before you can move away it's quickly pulled open. A shaky exhale escapes your lips as River quickly lowers his pistol and takes a step back. "Sorry, I didn't expect you to be up this late." He looks completely exhausted but still manages to flash you a quick grin before continuing. "I forgot something."

You look down and see a small, leather bound, book in his other hand. Glancing back up at him you quickly frown when you notice a streak of soot across his neck. Now that you're aware of that you also can pick up the faint smell of kerosene coming from River. "Did...did you start those fires?" River's grin quickly fades at your question and he curses under his breath. "I was hoping you wouldn't figure that out." His green eyes study you cautiously and you become increasingly aware that he's still holding his pistol. You slowly take a step back but River's long arm quickly reaches out and he grabs your arm tightly. He pulls you into the barn, shutting the door behind you, then drops your arm. Keeping an eye on you he picks the notebook up that he dropped when grabbing you and places it in his front pocket. "No one knows I'm responsible for those fires and I can't risk that changing." He tilts his head and stares down at you firmly, waiting for your reply.