Follow her out.

You shoot an apologetic glance back at Esme, and hurry to follow Ashley, gritting your teeth at the searing agony in your backside.

"Ash, wait!" You call after her

Limping down the short flight of stairs, every step feels like a hot poker ramming into your insides, but you push through it.

"Ashley, for fuck's sake, slow down!"

"WHAT IS IT, LIAM?" her angry outburst stops you dead in your tracks. "What's about her that won't let you see how FUCKED UP you are right now?"

"I... What?" You blink, stunned.

"COME ON! Just... look at you. Ever since she broke into your life you're in a worst shape every time I see you. This isn't healty, Liam."

You gingerly go down the last steps that separate you, putting as much weight as you can on the siderail.

"I know what this looks like, but-"

"No, you dont. How could you?Right now all you can see is Her. If I-" she stops, closing her eyes for a second, " If I gave you something, and I knew that shit made you feel bad, and I actually cared for you, I wouldn't be slobbering your face like a fucking teenager, five minutes later... Just sayin'"

"Ash..."

"Please, spare me the "You don't know her as well as I do" bit. She's changing you, breaking away the old Liam piece by piece. And you don't seem to fucking care, apparently." She scoffs.

"Oh, really? Just tell me, do you think I'm a goddamn whimp?" You meet her hard stare with your own. " Do you think I couldn't stand up for myself if I wanted to?"

She sighs,"That's not what I meant. I just can't stand to see you hurt, and you sure as hell are getting the worst end of the deal, judging by how hard you're trying to not buckle under your own weight, right now."

You limp away from her, towards the exit of the building.

"Did it cross your mind that maybe I'm happier right now?" You mutter.

"Of course not! The Liam I knew would've spit in her face, not kissed her feet."

"Then I guess you never knew me, not really."

You spot a boy leaning on the outer edge of the gates, eavesdropping your heated conversation while smoking and looking at his phone;

"Hey, buddy, you want in on the drama, you gotta pay the ticket. Got any smokes?"

He straightens his back, widening his eyes, "I- I was..." He points his thumb backwards, "I'm sorry, I was... Uhm..." He stammers, taking a couple steps back.

"Whatever..." You grunt.

As soon as you shift your attention back to Ashley, the nosy bystander makes a hasty retreat.

"See? This is what I'm talking about. You've never been like this."

"Oh, quit this "old me" bullshit already. A week ago I was a miserable bastard and you know it."

"That's not true." She mutters,

"Oh yes, it is. Sure, we had fun every now and then, but after that? Alone, like a dog. Going through the motions everyday, finding it harder and harder to pry myself from the bed every morning." You sigh. "Hell, I barely even talked to Sarah before she... You know..."

Ashley clicks her tongue, "Yeah, I'm starting to sense a pattern here..."

"No shit. The thing is... I think I like that. Ever since Esmeralda barged into my life, every day feels new... And if it's not her, it's my sister or a weird girl or... you. There's always something that will test my limits. Something that makes the day worth living."

"So that's it... You like to get pushed to the limit, so you throw yourself into the lion's den?" She asks, leaning on the wall beside you and fishing a pack of cigarettes from her purse. She lights two, passing you one.

You take a long drag, "It's not only that... She's a lot more sensible than what you think, and I... I think I love her, Ash."

She lets out a puff of smoke, "Shit, you're in deeper than I thought..."

"Would it be so bad?" You scoff,

"I told you, I don't want to see you hurt. This is your first time, being this close to somebody. All I'm saying is... Be careful. Things are gonna flare up sooner or later, and if sex is the only thing keeping you together, if you keep putting others before yourself... You're gonna get burned. Trust me on that."

Oh Ashley...

You still don't get it.

Even the worst burn this world has to offer is a better alternative to feeling nothing but emptiness...

END OF PART 1

Ending sountrack: Fear & Delight - The Correspondents

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=ABS-mlep5rY