Some adult questions-- the responsible kind

After the sex ed video, the self-study online course, and the live demonstration, one might have expected you'd be left up all night with nothing but sex on the brain. Instead, you found yourself sort of relieved and at ease. All this time, you'd been trying to clip the wires on some kind of metaphorical time bomb, that being how your life and Ms. Joke's would irrevocably change due to the irresponsible use of your powers. Now that the time had finally hit and you'd seen what it could mean... You wouldn't say it was the ideal situation, but you couldn't help but be a little happy with it.

After all, the two of you had locked hands and kissed with a certain passion. She'd enjoyed herself. You'd enjoyed yourself a hell of a lot. She'd even logically explained to you how it was okay, in her own words! Was there any real victim here?

The fact that Benefactor wasn't interrupting you made you feel even more comfortable with your choices, although later, you would reflect that situations where you didn't hear his words were actually the most dangerous. Being on the same wavelength with the darker part of your conscience was not usually a good thing.

Your good mood persisted as you left your room, yawning into one hand and pulling up the band of your pajamas with the other. Standing in the kitchen was Emi, wearing her purple pajamas-- including the pants, this time-- along with a yellow apron with a black smiley-face printed on the front of the chest. Judging by the tasty aroma drifting out of the kitchen, you guessed she was fixing pancakes and eggs. "Hey there, Sleepy Head! How do you like your eggs?" she questioned, placing one fist upon the curve of her hip and watching you over her shoulder. Her mood seemed pretty darn chipper as well. "I'm a sunny-side person, myself!"

You smiled and thanked her for fixing breakfast, then admitted you had no idea how you liked them.

"Sunny-side it is!" she answered, then redirected her focus back upon the task at hand. It didn't look like she'd showered yet, based on the messiness of her sea-green hair, but you thought she looked pretty all the same. In fact...

There it was. Morning wood. You may have actually had it for a while now without thinking about it, but she'd probably noticed already. Embarrassed at the distraction you were undoubtedly providing her, you quickly made your way to the small dining table in the corner of the living room, then began to flip around the TV. Benefactor's arrest was still dominating the news, however, you didn't think it'd last much longer. According to the news, he was set to be transferred today. If you'd waited even a day longer, you probably would have never learned the secrets about your power that you and Emi had managed to pump out of him.

"That's a load off, huh?" Emi questioned, watching you from the side through the kitchen cut-out. When you agreed, her smile seemed to tighten; you were a bit surprised that the answer appeared to bother her. "Everything's good today?"

Feeling your nervousness increase a bit, you answered that everything was fine. You hadn't been this happy in a while. You returned the question: was everything good with her?

"Ah, yeah, yeah," she waved one hand, dismissing your concerns with a new grin. "I like my world-view like I like my eggs: sunny-side up!" After a bit longer, she was ready to bring breakfast to the table. The spread looked and smelled delicious, with fluffy, golden pancakes and steamy, hot eggs. Benefactor had always told you that he could procure whatever you'd like to eat using his powers, but you'd rejected him so many times, you'd missed out on yummy stuff like this. Being offered it through the kindness of others, instead of mind-controlling them to do it, was a new joy.

Emi watched you with a smile, as you voraciously downed the breakfast platter, but you noticed too late that her fingers were nervously rapping the table. Her observation surprised you while you were chugging your orange juice. "Ren, I think I made a big mistake," she finally spoke up, with a sympathetic tilt to her eyebrows.

You gulped hard-- and not just to get your breakfast down. You could only speculate she must be having second thoughts about the bedroom affair last night. Eager to get in front of it, you shook your head hard, then reached across the table to grab one hand on top of hers. As her eyes widened, you told her your honest feelings: there was nothing at all wrong with what she'd done! The two of you liked each other, right? Why should anyone object to how the two of you used your private time together?

The teacher on leave didn't move her hand, but she didn't exactly return the warmth of the gesture either. "No, it's not that. I'm not worried about public embarrassment or anything like that. To be honest, I've been using all kinds of dating apps and things to try to find a guy I connect with and uh... there's always something standing in the way, like my hero work, my teaching job, my living arrangements, things like that. So I'm happy that we got to spend that night together, because I felt like it was something I wanted too..." she admitted, smiling a bit sheepishly as you rubbed your fingers along the sides of hers lovingly. You felt your heart beating faster; those words of hers were more than just encouraging! To know that your affection wasn't one-sided was all that you wanted!

"But..."

You opened your mouth to resist the continuation of that sentence, then closed it again, steeling yourself. You had to let her make her own feelings clear. Respecting the feelings of others was what it meant to resist Pendulum and its allure.

"But I'm being kind of scummy, really. You've been abused and sheltered all your life, right? I'm the first person who's not a lunatic that you've spent any significant degree of time with and I uh... I took advantage of you. I just said it, right? I've been trying to find ways to get laid, then suddenly, I get this cute kid in my house that I'm supposed to be looking after, and what do I do? I seduce him and bring him into my bed with me, then I kiss him and... Aaaaugh, the more I think about it, the worse I look," Emi groaned, finally pulling her hand free to rest both upon her forehead, leaning her elbows onto the table. The smile was still there, but clearly strained. "What kind of a hero am I?"

Well, this was a huge surprise. You thought you were the guilty one in all of this... You'd never expected to see the sudden romance was troubling Ms. Joke so thoroughly. Of course, you wanted to be respectful to her feelings, but her words almost made you want to laugh. With a comforting smile, you told her that this wasn't a situation of her taking advantage of you... If you could pick anyone in the world to spend the night with, you'd have picked her!

Now her face did look a bit upset; she moved one hand away from her forehead so you could see the troubled look in her eyes. "But that's just it! You don't know who you'd pick! That villain took your whole childhood away from you and you never got to meet a single decent person before me, if I even deserve to be called that at this point! You go on and on about how you can't use your mind manipulation against people and how it's so dangerous, but don't you see that you're the one who's been manipulated? This whole living arrangement ended up like some kind of trap! You never had any choice but to pick me!" she responded, sounding suddenly like a scolding teacher. "And I know you feel like that was your own choice and maybe you're happy with it, but you shouldn't be! Right now, you're probably thinking that you want to live here with me, but that's not real freedom. You need a chance to live without me, to go wherever you want, meet people, and fall in love with somebody the right way."

Desperately, you tried to plead with her: there was no mistake or manipulation on her part! It wasn't as though she'd used some kind of mind control to make you do what she wanted. She'd saved you and then she'd been kind to you; who wouldn't want her after that?!

"You're not getting it! That's exactly what I'm saying!" she protested, standing back up with a serious expression. "I screwed up, Ren! I should have recognized this was going to happen and put some distance between the two of us. I know it's hard and I know it's too late but... that's what I'm going to have to do. I'm sorry, it's not anything you did wrong! But I need to give you some space so that you can figure out how to live without everything being focused on me, okay? I've made up my mind: for the rest of the week, you're going to stay at Shouta's place." Your expression must have made clear that you weren't happy about that decision, because she bit her lip and **** herself to continue. "I know it's not what you want, but you have to trust me: it's for the best!" Emi's words carried the conviction of a responsible adult, a caring caretaker, and even a hero, putting the good of others before her own, even if it meant making things uncomfortable or hurting herself.

And yet... You couldn't accept this! You told her so directly: you didn't want to spend the rest of the week being monitored by Eraser Head and learning from him. Heck, you'd trade all of the learning opportunities and social adjustment that a year could provide if it meant one more week living together with her! If she really wanted to let you pick your future, she ought to let you pick to spend the rest of the time together with her like you'd woken up this morning expecting! You reminded her about the whole "satisfaction" thing that Benefactor had said. Was it even possible for you to get satisfaction in your life after being cut off like this?! You even resorted to reminding her that she'd told you last night she wasn't going to kick you out...

"I'm sorry... Sometimes, being a hero means having to make tough choices. This is one of those times. You may think that I'm the key to that 'satisfaction' the old guy talked about, but the truth is, you're too young to even know what you want yet. That'd be the case with or without Benefactor, really," she sighed, then tried to put back on a smile. "Hey, cheer up... I'll visit you and Shouta, alright? There's no reason we can't still be friends, even after this week is over."

It was the last thing you wanted to hear. When you'd woken up today, you'd been picturing the rest of the week here turning into something special. A deep relationship-- physical, but also mutually loving. You wanted to show Emi how much you cared and to prove to yourself you could resist the call of using your powers... It had seemed so easy then, because, after all, why would you need to use them when the whole thing was already going so effortlessly right? Emi loved you! She still did! So why... why had things gone this way?

...

As Emi smiled in silence, unwilling to walk away from the table until you accepted the wisdom of her words, the television set seemed to increase in volume. The smirking face of Benefactor sat glowing upon the screen in a police mugshot, but the words you thought you heard coming from the speakers had to be generated by your own head. "Young Ren... You get it now, don't you?" The old man's voice echoed inside your skull. It was hard to decide whose life advice you wanted less right now, his or your new mentor's, but you decided to entertain him, since you felt physically incapable of nodding along with Emi's decision.

Your compliance seemed to please him. "This is what happens when you reject your quirk. The real world can be a pretty cruel place, a comedy of errors, driven by the best intentions of others. You thought you were going to get to live in a nice apartment, spending the nights with the girl of your dreams in this picturesque kind of environment, because you rejected my gift? Far from it! You've just made the lesson that much harder for yourself," he spoke, sounding almost sympathetic, like a father would to his wayward child. "You call the power 'Pendulum' and reject it, but in reality, it's something to be treasured. What do all of the wills of all of the people of the world amount to? Chaos. War. Strife. When Miss Fukukado thrust her own decision upon you just now, didn't you feel angry? Don't you feel terrified that she'll never see your point of view? Worse, that she'll live with this ridiculous, unfounded guilt she's dreamed up for herself?"

Feeling yourself grinding your teeth in agitation at your own impotence-- your inability to grasp happiness for yourself-- you physically nodded your head.

"You can be a better man than me. For me, this ability was all about peace and happiness, but only my own! In your hands, it can be a **** to wield for the two of you. Don't you see that she's suffering now too? You made her so happy last night-- the two of you, young lovers, with your fingers entwined! That was such a gift to her. So flattering and so satisfying, as a woman. It's only here, in the morning, with that specter of society's responsibilities and expectations, that she feels any sort of negativity towards that joyous union! She wants the two of you to be together almost as much as you do!"

Feeling tears welling in your eyes and ignoring Emi's look of concern, you continued nodding; it must have looked like you were accepting her idea, but in reality, it was just the opposite. You never suspected that you'd be clinging to the words of this terrible individual-- or your own guilty manifestation of him-- but you grasped onto them desperately now, begging for an answer.

"You know what you need to do. The seed of doubt in Miss Fukukado's mind can be plucked out so easily, so harmlessly, like removing an invasive weed to save a garden of flowers! Use our gift, young Ren. Give her and yourself the happiness that both of you want..."

At this point, you wished you had a second voice in your head that could provide a rational counterpoint to Benefactor, but your own voice was mysteriously choked up inside your throat. You were stuck between two surrenders. You could accept Ms. Joke's wisdom and go live out the rest of the week with Aizawa, after which, you'd be given the freedom that was more than you ever thought you deserved, but less than you quite honestly wanted. If you rejected that option, you could instead heed the words of the Benefactor inside your head and plant a mental suggestion into Emi that could fix all of this.

It would be so easy... you could make her think that it was natural for you to live here and continue your happy life with her, even past the week. You could power up her carnal need for your companionship so much that she wouldn't be willing to let you go. You could even just put a tiny little sliver of doubt into her head and see if she acted on it, just to secure the rest of the week!

So easy... so harmless...!