The Sensational Susans vs the Mole Man!

“Run! RUN surface dwellers! Run from the awesome power of the Mole Man!”

Laughing with his fists in the air triumphantly, the hunched little man stared down at the crowds of people fleeing for their lives away from his animated golems of stone and molten earth. His invasion was going perfectly, cracking fissures into the ground and causing a volcano to erupt in the heart of Central Part was all it took to cause thousands of surface dwellers to flee into a panic. Even the local authorities were no match for his living stone men as they crushed and destroyed police cruisers with their bare hands or shrugged off handgun fire with the same ease as brushing off rainwater. For too long he had waited, biding his time to strike the world above and claim what he desired. Pointing towards one of his earthly minions with his staff, the elemental beings stopped and looked up to him.

“Go my minions! My Golems! Claim this city in the name of the Mole Man, none shall stand in your way! Not even…”

Interrupted from his commanding speech, the man squinted as he spotted a lone blue car heading his way, darting past a pair of police cruisers that were flipped over where a small brigade of police officers was hiding behind for safety. Tilting his head in confusion, the little family vehicle finally stopped right in front of his army of stone and lava elementals for all four of its doors to open. The first one he noticed exit the car made the man smile a crooked grin.

“Well, well, well, the one woman I came up to the surface to find and in the end, YOU came to find ME.”

“Don’t let it go to your head Harvey!” Yelled out Sue as she slammed the car door behind her and winced when she heard the hatchback yelp in annoyance. “Now fix this mess now or there’s going to be trouble.”

“Oh?” Laughing out loud and waving his arms out, his Golems sharing in his laughter until he returned his visored gaze to the woman. “You and what…?”

Finally looking back, he became confused when the other occupants of the car stepped out, each of them more radically different than the other, and all of them sharing in the woman’s face. A wendigo, a demon, a tentacle haired creature with four arms, even the car transformed into a towering version of the woman who tilted her hip and rested a mechanical hand at her side. Tossing handful of fiber-optic blonde hair behind her back. Scratching his head with his staff, the Mole Man looked to Susan with confusion.

“Who are they? And WHY aren’t you with the Fantastic Four?”

“They’re taking the day off bucko! Say hello to the Sensational Susans.” Called out the demon woman, pointing a finger back at the Mole Man and eating up the cheers from the police and bystanders hiding behind the police.

“Sensational… Sues…” Looking to one of his Golems for answers, the stone fleshed creature shook its head and shrugged. “Perhaps I have been away for too long, I AM speaking with Susan Storm of the Fantastic Four am I not? The former model I’ve desires for so long? The sulphur caves have not been kind to me, and I’ve lost most sense of time.”

Sharing a look together, the five women muttered to themselves before Susan answered back.

“You might want to speak to a doctor than, I think you might have brain damage there…”

“Bah! No matter, they say variety is the spice of life, and FIVE Susans will make this trip all the more worth it.”

With a slam of his staff against the ground, the Earth began to quake as something large dug itself free from behind the Mole Man, cackling maniacally as the largest of his Golems manifested behind him. Standing over 50 feet tall and comprised of molten stone and volcanic crystal, the monster loomed over its master and glared down at the five women, bellowing out a roar that gave off the heat and stink of a furnace.

“BEHOLD! My Giga-Golem will be the one to defeat you, and I shall claim you ALL as my brides to rule over the underworld. Ha HA ha ha ha ha ha…”

Leaning down to speak in where the Alien Susan’s ear would be, the wendigo Susan Storm chuckled. “Ugh… I can see why you ate him, I would too with that attitude.”

“What was that?!”

“NOTHING!” The two Susans piped up.

“SEIZE THEM MY Giga-GOLEM! Seize them in the name of the Mole Man!”

Growling out another gravel filled roar, the massive stone creature took a lumbering step forward, its meaty stone paws open to reach for the five who even at their tallest barely came to the monster’s knees. The Mole man continued to laugh at his own triumph until an intensely bright flash caught his attention and the head to his Giga-Golem was blasted into rubble that rained down all around him. Very quickly the rest of the creature followed suit and collapsed into a pile of rubble and stone. Raising his staff and covering his head to avoid any of the debris from falling on him, the Mole Man looked up to find the tall, mechanical Susan with her arm still extended out, her hand had been replaced with what looked like a built-in cannon that she brought to her metallic lips to blow the steam coming out of it.

“You have a laser cannon?!”

“Yeah…” The autobot woman smiled, retracting the barrel back into her wrist where her fingers and thumb unfolded and came back together to form her hand. “All robots have laser cannons.”

“MY GIGA-GOLEM!” Screamed the Mole Man, clutching at his head as he watched his creation crumble. “HOW COULD YOU?! It never hurt anyone; it never had a chance to! Seize them my Golems! Seize them for your master!”

Stamping his staff to the ground in a flourish, the ground suddenly began to tremble as dozens if not over a hundred man-shaped Golems sprouted from the ground, gurgling mud and clay in their expressionless mouths as they took to their feet and gathered in front of their creator and master. Easily outnumbering and surrounding the five women in the park. Seeing the horde of stone and earth men charging towards them ready for a fight, the group of Susan Storms stood their ground ready for anything. the Succubus in the group turned her horned head to look over her shoulder to the other Susans and winked with her tongue out playfully.

“Wow… That’s a LOT of them.”

“Yeah… They don’t stand a chance.”

Marching forward and tugging at her gloves to tighten them over her hands, Susan led the other four behind her with a wide grin. Just when the closest Golem lunged forward with its arms up to strike the Invisible Woman, Susan snapped her fingers and she and the others disappeared. Slamming its stone fists into the ground, the elemental creature looked up confused as did the dozens behind it. Looking to its master and creator for answers, the whole lot were shocked when its head exploded into a pile of dirt and rubble by some powerful impact. Confused, the other Golems looked around confused when another lost its head to some invisible strike. Several at once gasped and flailed as they were trapped in a bubble of solid light, levitated off the ground and shook like a sifter to reduce the Golems inside into loose soil and stone.

Standing on his hill and watching on as his army of elemental golems were being smashed, pulverized, and blown apart by an invisible enemy, the stout little man flailed and fumed, stamping his foot in anger as he watched his invasion fall apart like a house of cards. His fury died instantly when a pulse of blue tinted plasma shot out and blew several Golems apart and nearly took his head off before he ducked out of the way.

“WHAT ARE YOU DOING? HOW DARE YOU DESTROY MY ARMIES! SHOW YOURSELF SUSAN STORM!”

“Well, you HEARD him ladies, wanna show him?” He heard the Invisible Woman call out, just as another group of Golems were bundled together in a forcefield and shook violently. “Then let’s give him a show.”

At that moment, the veil of invisibility lifted from the five Susans and Mole Man was given a striking visual of just what exactly had been happening to his army of Golems. Like a conductor, Susan Storm was gathering up the Golems along with the winged horned one who shattered the Golems like powder in their forcefields. The giant robot woman had both of her arms transformed into plasma cannons, picking off the Golems with the same ease as shooting fish in a barrel, and much to Mole Man’s horror the alien and wendigo versions of the woman darted from one Golem to the next obliterating them with one powerful strike after the other. The four-armed woman slithered and darted between stone elementals with the same ease as a snake moving between reeds of grass, swiping with her claws, or striking out with her tentacles which from each bursting head they burst, were stronger than steel! Nearby, the wendigo Susan was tearing his Golems apart limb from limb or smashing them into rubble. She was even more destructive than the Thing ever could be, not only showing the strength to toss his golems into the air like they were ragdolls but becoming more and more vicious with each blow, almost like she was fighting like an animal. The moment she crushed one of his golems with both hands, she and the Mole Man traded glances and the wendigo woman roared like a raging bear at him.

Backing away hesitantly, the Mole Man looked around for possible exits as his army dwindled by the second. Fleeing from the site, the squad little man waddled with each panicked step until he felt tentacles wrap around his arms and legs and he tumbled to the ground to roll onto his back. Looking up, he stared into the slit reptilian eyes of the blue skinned Susan with horns and tentacles for hair, her four clawed hands pinning down his arms and shoulders while she stared down at him and hissed like a snake. A hiss that grew in intensity when she opened her mouth wide to reveal three rows of shark-like teeth followed by a serpentine tongue that slithered out of her jaws and coiled itself around his neck.

“Please! I surrender! I SURRENDER!!!”

“Down girl…”

Slurping back her tongue and closing her fanged mouth, the alien looking woman got back up to her feet and crossed her two pairs of arms, smirking down at the quivering man on the ground as the others surrounded him.

“I wasn’t going to hurt him, honest, maybe give him the scare of his life though.”

“Well, you certainly did THAT.”

Too quickly for him to react, the wendigo snatched up his staff in her clawed hand and snapped it in two like a twig. The moment she did, the golems crumbled to the ground, no longer sustained by the device. With her attention now on the man too scared to move or speak, they all stayed quiet when the Invisible Woman stepped forward and bent at the waist with her hands at her knees.

So… Had enough Harvey?”

Looking around with his visored gaze, the Mole Man raised an accusing finger at the woman as he regained some muster to speak.

“Y-you! You cheated. You were supposed to face me with the Fantastic Four, not these… These… Who ARE you people?”

Trading looks, the five looked around, trying to avoid the question.

“Believe me, we’d be here ALL day explaining it all, look, just give up already and I wont feed you to HER to stop you.” Susan explained, pointing her thumb back at her alien self who waved back at the Mole Man with her talons.

“N-NEVER! I am the Mole Man! King of the underworld, I don’t bow to an Invisible Woman, let alone FIVE of…”

Never given the chance to finish his sentence, the wendigo hoisted him up by the scruff of his green jump suit and opened her jaws wide like a lioness to stick his screaming head between her teeth.

“Haw abow now?” Wendigo Susan slurred with her mouth wide open, eliciting laughter from the others as the man screamed and flailed and wet his pants for fear of his life.

“I GIVE UP! TAKE ME AWAY! PLEASE!”

Dropping him like a dead weight onto his rear, the wendigo wiped her clawed hands clean and growled under her breath at the little man with a toothy grin as she and the others walked away to let the police take him into custody. Stepping out of the park, the ladies were met with a cheering crowd of onlookers, police and news stations who had been watching the fight from the safety of distance the entire time.

Trading looks, the five waved to the crowd.

*

Back at the Richards home, Reed and Johnny were applauding and sharing a clumsy high five with each other while the super model and former sex-**** watched the broadcast with rapt attention and amazement on the couch.

Unseen by the four, the three Susans at the far wall watched the television and the excitement it caused in the others. Trading looks, they watched in with either indifference or annoyance… Except for Susan Von Doom.

“Interesting…”

Watching the five Susans on live television cheer each other and soak up the attention of the crowd around them, the cloaked, metal clad woman made her way down the hall to Reed’s lab. Once there, she spotted the cosmic, floating doppelganger hovering in the center of the room, unmoving and unflinching. Heading back to the living room, she spotted the five were still there, still alive, and not reduced to de-atomized powder like the Hydra agent version of herself from yesterday.

“Very interesting…”

“What is? That these peons are still here? If it were not for that… THING in the lab, these miscreants would be without their skins.”

“Yes… Yes, they would… So why aren’t they dust?”

“What?” Finally confused on the matter, Malice turned to the armored woman beside her. Leaning in close, the trio began to whisper with each other.

“Why aren’t they dust? The cosmic being threatened to turn us to dust if we overstepped our boundaries, and yet here we see THOSE five unscathed.”

Turning their attention back to the television, Malice and the Vampire began to realise what the ruler was hinting at.

“So, there is a limit to her awareness?”

“Or a limit to her attention… I think this needs to be looked into, don’t you agree sisters?”

“Yes… Yes, it does. We shall look into this tonight when MY power is at its peak.” Answered the pale skinned vampire Susan, smirking. Moving away from each other and backing away, the trio continued to watch on as the five on the television waved and answered questions while the crowd cheered them on. Plans already beginning to take form.