Fuck it pussy-slayer talk to both of them!

Years of living in a house with four hot-tempered women had prepared you for this moment. You would chivalrously stroll into their argument and solve it in moments like a goddamn knight in shining armor.

Just like you always did for Brie, Lilly, Janae and Taylor.

(Author’s note insert Funeral Dance meme here)

Things were going swimmingly as you managed to walk ten feet without tripping.

Approaching the nurse’s station, you were just about to save the day when you were blindsided.

The Latina nurse had had enough and begun to walk backwards out of the nurse’s station continuing to berate the pink-haired nurse. Who had seen you approach, stifling a laugh she let her friend step backwards straight into you. Slamming the back of her head straight into your nose. Ever the graceful hero you stumbled and landed ass first onto the tile floor.

Holding your bleeding nose. You let out a nasally groan.

“Ooooowwww.”

…Really sexy Casanova.

The Latina nurse immediately shuffled to your side and began talking at the rate of a Shakespearian play a minute spitting out a mix of Spanish and English or straight gibberish your frazzled brain couldn’t tell.

Not understanding a word she said, you merely stared straight into her warm chocolate eyes.

“Worth it” you thought to yourself lost in a swimming pool of hot chocolate.

Furiously shaking you, the nurse managed to shake something in your fucked-up head back into place as you suddenly began to process her sentence.

“Are you okay? I’m so sorry!”

She repeated this over and over again in both English and Spanish.

Opting to assuage your poor damsel, you replied

“Hi Joseph blood nose fine eyes nice”

…For fucks sake.

The Latina Nurse merely stared at you. While the pink-haired nurse who you just now realized had been cackling like a witch jumped into action.

“Shit, shit the kid has a concussion.”

With both nurses at your side you really needed to pull it together.

Unscrambling your brain you spoke

“Not kid eighteen legal thank you”

…Let’s just try that again.

“No I’m fine just a bit frazzled”

Good enough.

The pink-haired nurse now trying to hold back the laughter chimed in

“Clearly a bit frazzled.”

Suspicious she was making a jab at your previous statement you sat up.

“Seriously I’m fine now.”

“That nosebleed says otherwise, c’mon let’s get you fixed up.”

The pair of nurses helped you to your feet and hooking their arms around yours to steady you walked you down to one of the examination rooms.

Sitting down on the squeaky green leatherette exam table you watched as the pair raided the cupboards for a plethora of first-aid equipment.

You didn’t know for sure but it seemed like the two were racing each other.

Beating the Latina nurse, pink-hair now rocking a pair of black nitrile gloves tilted your head back and went to reach for a swab but was cut off by the Latina who dabbed at the drying blood around your chin and mouth.

The strong scent of alcohol cut through the blood and filled your nose. Taken back by the smell you coughed a bit. Swooping in pink-hair wiped your mouth and slightly aggressively nudged the Latina’s hand away.

“Hey Brenda, both of us don’t need to be here why don’t you head back to the nurse’s station. I’ll take care of your casualty”

Pink-hair snickered.

Seeming slightly defeated the Latina aka Brenda flung her gloves into the trash and headed for the door.

So Casanova are you really going to leave your health in the hands of pinky or will Ms. South America be your healer.