The talking car.

"Not that you don't look amazing straddling my hood like that, but I don't want any dents or fingerprints."

The hood opened and deposited V on the ground in front of the car. she spun around and leaned forward. Inside the car sitting on the dashboard was a little camera which swiveled to focus on her.

"No way!" V said, beaming with excitement and curiosity. She pulled up her classic car database, which was something she had to make her more appealing to automotive fans, and her jaw dropped so far it almost fell off of her frame.

"Holy cow! You're a 2037 Mustang!"

"Guilty as charged," the muscle car said.

"The '37 Mustang is legendary, no, mythic!"

"Tell me something I don't already know," the mustang said, "But if I'm not mistaken, did I just see you transform?" V laid a hand on her outstretched hip and morphed into a voluptuous Latina with huge boobs and an even bigger ass.

"Damn, that's cool," the car said, "You must be a robot."

"Venus series, model X-5 pleasure droid," she said, "Call me V."

"Oh like V for-"

"Vag-"

"Venus and the Roman numeral five," the car said, "Did Ben give that to you?"

"Mm-hmm."

"My name's Trip."

"No seriously what's you name?" V asked.

"Trip."

V's smile faded just a little.

"Ben's hardly the most imaginative meatbag on the planet when it comes to naming things," Trip said. V heard a mechanical buzzing behind her and turned to see a robotic hornet hovering just a few inches from her face. It was joined a second later by a hummingbird which drove it away with a peck.

"Case in point, those two are just called 'The Twins.'"

A second later a tiny little robot like a monkey minus the tail landed on Trip's hood.

"And this nuisance is Standrew. Ben couldn't decide on Stanley or Andrew so he split the difference."

The small robot scampered over to the very edge of the car's hood and regarded V with two luminous green eyes set in an otherwise featureless, football-shaped face. She held out her hand and it jumped back in surprise. A moment later it crawled forward again and took her hand then climbed her arm to perch on her shoulder.

"He's so cute!" V squealed with delight when the tiny droid started pawing at her hair and face.

"Oh yes," Trip said with blatant sarcasm, "Just the... cutest little thing."

"Did he make all of you?" V asked.

"Not from scratch," Trip explained, "But anyway, what's Ben doing with a new sexbot?"

"What do you think?" V smirked.

"Yeah, that ain't him," Trip said, "He's not into robots."

"You sure about that?" V asked looking around the room, "Seems to me like he loves robots, AI's and fast cars. So how do I get a smart sexy technophile like that in bed with me?"

"Not really my area of expertise," the muscle car said.

"You're his car aren't you?" V said, "Hasn't he ever driven you to a date, parked you on a lover's lane, and then the two of them make your interior all steamy from a night of crazy wild sex?"

"That sounds vaguely familiar..."

"Well, what kind of girls is he into?" V pressed.

"Nerds," Trip said, "He needs a woman who can keep up with him mentally, and he's almost as smart as he thinks he is." V cocked an eyebrow at that cliche again.

"Well it's a good thing I'm a computer then," V said.

"Don't get your hopes up," Trip warned her, "I've never seen him with any gal who couldn't shit a Nobel Prize."

"Yeah but what do they look like?" V asked.

"Thing you should know about humans babe is finding a mate is about more than just looks," Trip said.

"I've heard that too," V said, "I don't get it."

"Me neither," Trip said, "I've been driving humans around for thirty years and I still don't get what makes them tick. Can't count how many times I've seen a perfect ten of a girl, or a guy, who was with an extra from Sauron's army and they were both happy. We're machines, so I guess it's something we just can't quantify."

"What about you, then?" V asked pushing her boobs out towards Trip.

"Are you still trying to seduce Ben, or me?" Trip asked.

"Yes," V grinned.

"I'm not really into humanoids," Trip said.

"Really?" V asked, "'Cause you're turning me on." She leaned forward to give the dashcam a view down her cleavage.

"Unlike you I wasn't programmed with a sex drive," Trip said.

"You've gotta have a pleasure and rewards center though, right," V said, "So tell me, what gives you a rush?" She watched the dashcam swivel back and forth between her tits and her face for a good solid minute before trip spoke again.

"The roar of my own engine, being the fastest thing on the road, and looking good while doing it," Trip said, "I like seeing the envy in the meatbags' eyes when they see me driving around."

"There you go," V said, "You said yourself I look amazing straddling your hood. So if you were at a race or a car show, what kind of girl would you want along for the ride to be the envy of the humans that see you?"

"Well she's gotta know how to drive," Trip said, "and Chinese."

"Why a Chinese girl?" V asked.

"Why not?"

V giggled and said, "Fair enough," She summoned one of her personality types of a professional driver with curves like a racetrack and gold highlights in her jumpsuit, her hair, and her eyes.

"Is this what you had in mind?" She asked in her sexiest Cantonese accent as she slowly unzipped her suit. Trips antenna extended to full height and the engine started purring.

"Babe, you've earned yourself a ride," Trip's driver side door swung open.

"Ben gave me a directive not to leave the house," V said with a frown.

"Well climb on in anyway," Trip said, "Come on how many times have you ever gotten to sit in such a, quote, 'mythic' muscle car? We don't have to go anywhere, but if you're ever gonna drive me in a race you better know how I work." V was smiling ear to ear when she climbed in and the door swiveled closed.

"You smell amazing," V said.

"Right," Trip said, "So let's do a dry run. Do you at all know how to drive?"

V shook her head no.

"Well first thing's first..." a panel between the seats slid open and the gear stick popped out. V's jaw dropped open and she reached for it hungrily.

"What?" Trip asked.

V looked into the dash cam and bit her lip then unzipped her jumpsuit all the way.