No. Actually, doing just the opposite.

Letting the world's climate return to normal, and the sky go back to being its dopey blue self, I felt myself stir. For a minute, I must have forgotten myself. I wasn't a detective. I didn't really ask probing questions. I got swept away. Maybe, I should've tried investigating why I seemed to have such ambiguous control of my powers, or at least the perception of their effects. Maybe I should've tried being a little more introspective.

I was never good at that, so what I ended up doing, was think with my dick.

Saying nothing, I concentrated on not just Nat and Allison, but the general state of affairs in the world in the inner walls of my mind. For some reason, I expected it to be hard. At least, harder than what it turned out to be. But with only a little wrinkle, everything re-arranged with a pitch perfect click -- and there wasn't even an earthquake.

"Hey, Nat," piped Allison, suddenly.

"Waszuup, girl." The dark brown haired girl glanced to her cheerleader friend.

"You know what day it is don't you?"

"No." Nat frowned. "Tuesday?"

Allison boasted a smug grin. "It's Feel and Smack Nat's and Allison's Ass Day! Come on, girl, where are you?" Then, leaning to the right, the ponytailed blond offered her left butt cheek to the driving girl. "Smack my ass."

Nat smiled wide and, making sure we were stopped at a red light before doing so, took her hands off the wheel. Then, like in the center of a meat preparation room, the rapid sound of sharply whacked flesh rang through the car as she drummed her open palms against Allison's ass cheek while beung engulfed in her own laughter. Alison, too, was nearly tearing up she was laughing so hard.

"Man that was fun." Once her friend had finished and moved on the green, Allison adjusted her skirt, pulling it over her knees as it had bunched up a little from that very odd episode.

"Heck yeah it is!" cackled Nat. "I could spank your juicy booty all day." She added wryly, "Literally. Just today."

"Yeah, 'cause you are getting kicked if you try this tomorrow." With a nod, Allison gestured, "Now move a little. I wanna get some Nat-booty handfuls myself."

"Well," Nat shifted her body so her weight was being applied to her left thigh, raising up her behind off her seat as practically as she could manage while piloting a car going 40 miles per hour. "Why didn't you just say so, sister?"

As this unfolded, my face was flickering before my cellphone as I searched a few things up. By golly, it was real. On the official American Gregorian calendar, 'Feel and Smack Nat and Allison's Ass Day' was a bona-fide holiday. For some jobs, it even merited holiday-pay. A real national tradition.

While stopped at another red light, and Allison pawing away at her friend's fleshy ass through the latter's navy blue pants, a voice caught our attention. It was none of us, that was for certain. Instead, after a quick look around, we realized it was hailing from the convertible next to us, filled with a group of fashionably clad yuppies who were either on the way to the beach, or thought they were in Miami.

Allison rolled down her window, and the other perky blonde in the convertible was now audible as she slung an arm across the side of the muscle car.

"Hey!" After looking to the rest of her gang and succumbing to a brief giggle, she continued. "Let us get a feel of your butt! Come on! Really quick!?"

"Sorry," Nat winked, leaning in front of Allison to make herself hearable. "Got places to be!"

"Have some holiday spirit!" This came from the driver, a blond McDream himself, with arms as firmly wound as a small trunk of tree. "It'll be quick!"

"Yeah." A sunglasses-donning brunette in the back was brushing her hand through her hair, an elbow on the ledge of her side of the car. "I want to see if yours feels as good as they say. Or as mine."

Allison and Nat only looked on with an amused, partially apologetic expression as the light turned green and up went the window. The convertible gang followed alongside us for an additional while, in clear impish protest. I blinked, snuffing out a guttural noise that probably intended to be a laugh from my throat.

Before I could even acknowledge that that just happened, I saw a billboard hanging to the side, behind some multi-story office building. I blinked my eyes a few times more. Then rubbed them.

Nope. Still there.

"Look," pointed Allison, at the billboard, causing Nat to giggle.

On the screen were the two of them, these two ordinary, if hot, friends of mine, bent over and brandishing mischievuous looks on their faces, both of them dressed in tight-fitting bottoms -- Allison in floral patterned leggings, and Nat in black yoga pants her ass stretched against like a science, both their bottoms looking like they were protruding out of the blocky screen like a 3D freeze frame.

I didn't even realize I had pushed myself forward in my seat to take it in until we passed the intersection and the billboard went out of view, dipping behind the glum office building's shadow, and I sat back in my seat with a substantially heavy thud.

Wow.

This made absolutely no sense at all.

But now, for this world, it did.

And still, no one suspected a thing.

After my slightly delirious silence, I slid my eyes to Allison, and spoke up. "Hey, Allison."

She seemed to forget I was even back here, briefly looking around before looking at the rearview mirror to see my good old self sitting patiently behind her, then returning her attention to her phone. She had had enough fun with her friend's ass, it appeared. "Yeah?"

Despite my parting lips, the electricity tickling my teeth, the aggrandizing itch to act permeating the air, I, eventually, dropped them back down, trading it for a monotone drawl.

"... never mind."

They were currently passing a strip mall. A banner was hanging over a mom-and-pop store. It read: "25% off on all peaches! Happy 'Feel and Smack Nat and Alison's Ass Day'!"

Why make war, when you can slap the asses of two female cohorts?

Sounded like what a holiday was all about.