Into the Abyss

My first text. Anywhere. So please, be gentle and let me know if this is something worth continuing. English ist not my first language so I would be delighted to get some feedback.

What a day. As if this year didn't suck enough, my boss had the audacity to change his mind and not promote me. I worked my ass off for the last couple of months, stayed in the office while my friends were out partying, lost the love of my life due to not finding the time for a relationship and the couple I'm renting my appartment from thinks about kicking me out of my beloved home because they wanna move in themselves.

To clear my had and to gaze at the beatiful sea coast at dawn I had decided do take the long road home. It's just a couple of kilometers longer but the view ist stunning and ususally I could focus on thinking while walking this way. Well, today thinking seems to suck but at least I try to enjoy the solitude. But somehow my mind constantly drifts to how miserable cirdumstances are right now and how unfair the universe seems to be. Is there anything else that could go wrong? How about a mugger or false accusations of criminal charges?

Or how about - Yes, that's exactly what I needed: Some lunatic standing behind the rail of the bridge, preparing to jump down into the chasm, only taking one last look behind him spotting me, coming along. Did he just say something? "Oh, perfect! Some asshole, who didn't make it in life decides to jump to his **** and I happen to come by. Why now? I just wanna get home order a pizza and watch a mindless action-flic, while the world around me sucks.." I mean to think to myself but seemingly by mistake I speak it out loudly as my Eyes widen up you realize that this might not be the right thing to say to a suicidal person. He just chuckles and shruggs it off. I start moving towards him. "You look like shit that's been eaten by a dog and puked out into an even bigger pile of shit" he says, eyeing me up from head to toes. "Funny, a jumper talking to me about how my life sucks" I answer, although not meaning to say anything once again.

"Yes, I am going to jump and end my life, but it's not how you think. My life doesn't suck, it's quiet the opposite: My life is too perfect. For about 20 years I have lived THE life. A life everybody dreams of. But unfortunately, I have come to notice that I miscalculated. What I thought would bring happiness only made me lonely.What I seeked most, seems like a foolish dream nowadays. I am sick of this life I can't be sure of if it's mz own accomlishment or not. Idon't want to continue any longer, but meeting you here offers a chance that should not be forsaken." By now he completely turned around facing me, still standing on the wrong side of the fence. "What would you do, if you could get anything from anybody? What if you would only have to suggest what people should do?" Reluctently I answer, not knowing how to convince him not to jump: "I don't know. Maybe, I would be happy?"

"Works for me", he says. My body tenses up, my footing widens just a little bit and my hands move towards his chest. A mere passenger of my own mind I observe my body pushing him over the edge ans falling to his ****.

The moment I realize what I have done I rush forward clinging onto the metal bars that were this guys grip just a second ago. I get just a glimps of him until he vanishes into the sea between razorsharp rocks. Only a tiny moment passes until I remember stuff that hasn't been there before. Our encounter hadn't lasted very long but I experience flashbacks - or rather two lines of dialogue - that must have just happend as I relive him telling me: "You should be honest with me" and "You should push me, so my power will be yours"