Go to Human Resources

Human Resources, this late at night, is manned (personed?) only by Kimmy. She's an unpaid intern. They make her work the night shift and actually work, which you're pretty sure is illegal, but they get away with it because she's **** for resume fodder. You hope she steals even more relentlessly than your team does.

She has long, dark hair, almond-shaped eyes, and is slender as a willow wand. She's dressed in a dress shirt and yoga pants, probably out of an awareness of what shows above her desk versus what doesn't show under it. She cracks a big smile for you. "Christopher, what can I do for you tonight?" Sometimes you bring her snacks or stuff, since she doesn't get paid.

{if Team Lead = true}You didn't bring anything really good tonight, but you do hand over a half-dozen boiled eggs. "It's not much, but if you managed to sneak a mayo packet and some crackers and a plastic fork, it'd be sort of like an egg salad sandwich..." She looks pleased anyway. "Actually, I have some salad and ramen, and a sliced-up egg is exactly what it needs to add a little bit of real food to those. So, it's perfect." She smiles and it lights up the room.

You'd actually like to ask her out, on a real date, and get to know her better. This is highly distinct from how you want to just absolutely rail Leanna. You never have, because you lack the confidence. And you lack the confidence because Kimmy has ambitions and a future, whereas you always assumed you'd just float your way through life until you died, probably alone and broke.{endif}