Girls just want to have guns

"Give up, Major Hottie," said Montana as she held Brooke in a **** hold. "You're surrounded and right now I'm the best friend you've got."

"Geez," said Brooke. "With friends like you, I don't really need enemies."

"You might as well surrender, Brooke," said Montana. "There's no way I'm letting you get a hold on that gun."

"Good," said Margaret. "In that case, I'll take it."

"Wait -- What?" asked Montana.

"I did not give you permission to bring any firearms onto my property," said Margaret. "Therefore, it belongs to me."

"Oh, no, it doesn't," said Nurse Rita. "There's been enough going wrong with this experiment without throwing an extra gun into the mix so I'll be taking that gun."

"Over my dead body!" cried Margaret.

"That can be arranged," said Nurse Rita.

"I'm usually more comfortable with knives myself," said Richard Ramirez, "but hey, I'll take that gun. Hand it over here, Montana."

"Come get it yourself, Richard," said Montana. "I'm a bit busy right now."

Richard shrugged and turned toward the man called Mr. Jingles. "I don't suppose you plan to fight me for that gun? Because that would be a bad idea if you do."

Mr. Jingles just grinned and said, "Hell, keep the gun. Just as long as I get dibs on the bleached blonde, I'll be happy."

"What bleached blonde?" asked Richard. "You mean Montana? You can't touch her."

"You tell him, Richard," said Montana.

Richard continued. "I got dibs on her first."

Brooke just smirked. "And they say chivalry is dead."

"Whatever," said Margaret. "I'm still taking the gun. And then I'll decide what punishment I'll be doling out to the rest of you."

"You're not taking the gun," said Nurse Rita. "I'm taking the gun."

"No," said Richard. "I'm taking the gun."

"No, I'm taking the gun."

"No, I'm taking the gun."

And just like that, Richard, Margaret and Nurse Rita raced forward to try and get a hold of the gun Brooke had dropped on the floor. In the ensuing scuffle, neither Brooke nor Montana could see who was winning the fight but Brooke did hear the sound of ripping cloth. Which meant --

"My gosh, Montana!" said Brooke. "That big white guy just tore off your blouse."

"Gee, thanks, Major Hottie!" cried Montana sarcastically. "I never would have realized that if it hadn't been for you."

Mr. Jingles was just about to reach for another item of clothing on Montana's body when suddenly his activities were interrupted by the sound of a gunshot.