Monty Python Monday

Gotham Academy, Morning of Monday, October 27th

Jason and Raven walked down the hall to meet up with Megan and a few others before class. Jason was watching all of the approaches and Raven hugged her friend. Megan gave Jason a high-five.

“So… any good reruns of ‘my favorite Martian’ lately?” Jason joked.

“They stopped airing that show decades ago,” Megan said.

“But someone keeps watching the DVDs of it,” Raven rolled her eyes.

“What they are fun. Here comes Rose,” Megan said.

“See her,” Jason said even with his back towards her, “Thirty seconds…”

“Sooo… About last night,” Rose said as she walked up.

“Which part?” Jason asked turning around.

“I wanted to apologize for my behavior,” Rose said sheepishly.

“It’s ok,” Megan said, “You were high as a kite…”

“Yeah,” Rose said, “I wanted to apologize about that and to thank you guys for getting me to the hospital… Seems I took a really big dose and would have died had you guys not hit me with the counter agents before sending me on my way.”

No one said anything for a minute since they hadn’t injected her with anything.

“How did it go with Dean Wayne?” Raven asked.

“My ears are still ringing,” Rose said, “Talk about being read the riot act.”

The three kept looking at Rose. None of them had administered anything to counter the effects of MDMA… Rose looked at them and realized that more than that had happened while she was in her haze.

“What else did I do?” Rose asked.

“You kissed me,” Raven started flatly.

“And me,” Jason added.

“And me,” Megan finished.

“Shit,” Rose’s face blushed, “You must think I am a shit head…”

“I was thinking about asking you out,” Megan said flatly.

“You were?” Rose said confused, “You must think I am horrible now…”

“I am still thinking about it,” Megan said, “I never made a decision one way or the other.”

“Heads up, she is total straight edge and a kill joy even when joking about getting plastered,” Jason said, “Time to get to class.”

*

Monday Afternoon

Kara waited in the parking lot while the crew loaded up the donations to in the truck. Bruce was pacing back and forth. The Wayne Foundations had arranged for donations of candy and costumes for the city orphanage. It was supposed to be delivered to the staff this morning so they could help the kids get costumes and have treats in the pantries for the kids for Halloween on Friday. But there was clambering for Bruce to come in person and make an event out of it. Dick was walking on top of the fence around the warehouse.

“How much longer?” Kara asked.

“Only a few more minutes miss,” One of the workers said.

Kara knew that the workers was checking her out. She knew that she was less sexy than normal since she was going to visit an orphanage. She still wore orange and black Halloween themed leggings and boots, but with a loose turtleneck and a blazer over it. There was a vinyl witch hat in the SUV. Dick walked over to the point on top of the fence closest to Kara.

“Getting antsy?” Dick asked.

“The guy with the ‘feminist agenda’ shirt is perving on me real hard,” Kara sighed.

“We are late people,” Bruce announced, “If I am late it is because of me, not the staff of Wayne Foundation…”

“So… shouldn’t a witch have green skin?” Dick asked.

“Maybe if she is out of Wizard of Oz,” Kara said thinking of the movie.

“We are done Mister Wayne,” The head of the works called.

“Alright folks,” Bruce called, “Kara and Dick take the SUV, I will ride in the truck. Let’s go.”

*

As predicted there were photographers and reporters covering the event. Kara noticed Alexander Knox in the crowd. She wondered if he would try to make this a Gargoyle story. The younger kids were happy to get the free costumes and decorations for the orphanage while some of the older kids just wanted dibs on the candy. Some of the older boys and photographers were disappointed that Kara was dressed rather conservative. Kara had made peace with her Kryptonian Fashion Sense being considered Fetishistic and sexy by American standards.

“Why are you wearing a carrot on your face?” Knox asked as he walked up.

“It’s suppose to be a witch nose… Dick’s idea,” Kara said.

Dick had hollowed the top of a carrot and put a rubber band throw it (Somehow) and put it on her with her Witch hat. Kara wanted to say something to Dick but a little girl was right there, so she muttered under her breath in Kryptonian. Now Knox, in his eternal “Noir Detective” outfit, was pestering her about it.

“Off the record,” Knox turned off his recorder, “How do you feel about this?”

“Off the record,” Kara said, “I like helping… but making it a public show makes it feel cheap to me.”

“I can respect that,” Knox smiled and made a gesture of turning the recorder back on, “Now for the record… How do you feel about this charity event?”

“It is great to help others. I was super lucky to be brought in the Wayne family when I found myself in Gotham,” Kara smiled.

“A witch!” Dick said as he came around the corner…

Kara and Knox turned and looked at the mob of kids with Dick. They came over and grabbed Kara by her sleeves and started hauling her away. Knox just watched for a minute and then shrugged and walked along behind an eight-year-old. The gaggle rushed towards Bruce. Dick took the lead pushing Kara towards him.

“We found a witch, may we burn her?” Dick said in a fake British accent.

“Burn the Witch!” the kids cheered.

“Oh boy,” Bruce put his hand over his face, “Ok, I have seen this movie… ‘How do you know she is a witch?’ eh?”

“She looks like one!” Dick said.

“This isn’t my nose,” Kara Protested, “It’s a false one!”

Bruce leaned over and lifted the nose.

“Well we did do the nose,” Dick said, “But she’s a witch!”

“How else do you know she is a witch?” Bruce asked trying to remember the Monty Python sketch.

“She turned me into a newt!” Dick shouted.

“A Newt?” Knox asked from the back.

“I got better,” Dick said sheepishly.

“What do you do with witches?” Bruce asked.

“Burn the Witches!” Dick started.

The kids all cheered “Burn the Witch!”

“What do you burn besides witches?” Bruce asked.

“More Witches!” Dick shouted.

Everyone looked at Dick.

“Wood?” Knox prompted from the back.

“Tell me,” Bruce said, “Does Wood sink in water?”

“No,” Dick said, “It floats.”

“Throw her in the river,” A kid shouted.

“What else floats in water?” Bruce asked to keep’s the kid’s attention.

“Lead,” Dick spurted, “Churches…”

Kids shouted things like bread and leaves. One kid in the back shouted “A Boat!”

“A duck?” Knox asked in the back.

“A Duck,” Bruce said.

“So if she weighs the same as a duck…” Dick started, “she’s made of wood?”

“And therefore…” Bruce prodded.

“A Witch?” One of the kids asked.

“Exactly!” Bruce smiled.

Dick started pulling on Kara and leading her to a seesaw in the playground area. The Kids circled Kara as she sat on one side. From somewhere, Dick pulled out a frozen turkey.

“That’s not a duck,” one kid said.

“I am working on short notice,” Dick shrugged.

Kara heard Knox asking Bruce about hamming it up for the kids.

Dick put the frozen turkey on the other side of the seesaw and Kara got the hint. She levitated herself a bit until she was almost the same height on the seesaw as the frozen turkey. The kid gasped in astonishment.

“She’s a witch!” one boy shouted.

“Hold on, Time out…” Bruce called, “Put the barbeque set away! Kara, get off your tippy toes. We all had our laughs.”

The kids collectively went ‘Awww.’ Dick was holding comedically oversized lighter.

“Alright,” Kara put her full weight back down on the seesaw.

“Now take the turkey to the kitchen, that is dinner tomorrow for the kids,” Bruce said.

A few of the staff for the Orphanage murmured in surprise. They hadn’t known that Bruce bought groceries for the week for them as well.

“Dick unload the bags from the SUV,” Bruce called, “Kara, give him a hand.”

*

“So you are taking Friday and Saturday off like the schedule says or are you going to be in?” Harley asked Crane.

“I need a vacation,” Crane muttered as he wondered off.

“He is really stressed,” one of the nurses said as Crane left.

“Yes, I will agree on that,” Harley said.

“Are you doing anything for Halloween?” the Nurse asked.

“I was going to go to a party with a friend of mine from medical school,” Harley smiled, “What about you?”

“I am working Friday. My kids are going to be in town at the Corporate plaza trick or treat event,” The nurse smiled.

“Nice,” Harley said, “I still can’t believe Wayne pushed Lex-corps and Goth-Corps into promising to hand out free candy.”

*

“So you weigh the same as a turkey?” Oracle asked over the link.

“I figured it was all in good fun until someone pulled out a lighter,” Batgirl responded over the link.

“I was going to put the bird on the grill,” Nightwing said over the link.

“A frozen bird?” Batgirl asked.

“I wasn’t going to grill the frozen bird,” Nightwing said, “There was a precooked and cut one that could be tossed on the grill to heat up for sandwiches.”

“Right,” Oracle said over the link, “Even I don’t believe you on that one.”

“I still can’t believe you got her to wear a carrot for a nose,” Robin chimed in.

“You have to know how to talk to the ladies,” Nightwing chimed in.

“Should there be a stern Batman saying to keep off the line?” Oracle asked.

“Speaking of talking to the ladies,” Robin said, “Stray cat doing a pole dance on the radio tower on the Gazette building.”

“Well that’s it,” Batgirl said, “I am calling it. This might be the quite before a storm, but I am getting some extra sleep.”

*

Kara snapped up in her bed. She looked around. It was the dream again, it was always the same dream. Kara looked around and took a few deep breaths. She felt the power damping earrings and felt a slight shock. They were running low on power. Kara put the earbud chargers in her ear and queued up sleeping noise on her phone to listen to while her dampeners charged.

A bang made her shot back up in her bed and she turned off the power dampeners. Kara listened and looked around. Dick and Barbara were half naked and on the floor of the room next to Kara’s. Kara smirked, rolled her eyes and turned the dampeners back on so she wouldn’t have to listen to them while she tried to sleep.