-was a young shrine maiden

(chapter originally by faith on writing.com)

"Eek! What do you think y-" Yukiko said as she spun around.

All at once she found her open mouth occupied by an agile tongue. Yukiko let out a protest that turned into a confused moan as she found herself kissed and foddled by a mysterious green haired woman. Due to the arousing chemicals in her blood, the unexpected kiss was more enjoyable and harder to break free of than it might have been otherwise. With an effort of will Yukiko did push back and broke away from the strange woman, her face flustered and her lips sputtering.

"Hmmmm....odd." The woman said, flexing her hands and licking her lips as if assessing some intangible item. "I don't sense any madness, exactly. So that's good. And there's definitely the taste of the supernatural on you. But it doesn't feel like you've been possessed recently, either. If anything it has the taste of an internal power rather than external. But you don't smell like a wizard or an esper....how bizarre."

The woman in question was tall, wrapped in a kimono that left her legs bare but arms covered. The garment itself was silky and embroidered with the image of countless dragons writhing across a surface of blue, gold, and green. A purple sash kept the item secured on her body. A bag brimming with shinto charms and less identifiable things was slumped over her right shoulder, while a stylized bamboo sword was carried over her left. Yukiko noted that the kimono was not quite up to the task of containing the woman's large breasts, which provided quite a lot of cleavage to any onlookers interested in such things.

"What do you mean, 'who are you'? I'm Saeko Machiko, of course! We just discussed this! Was my kiss that intense?" The woman asked.

"WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?? YOU JUST CAME UP AND STARTED MOLESTING ME!!" Yukiko screamed.

"Don't be absurd! We've had a proper introduction and agreed upon....err....oh. Oh your right. I skipped ahead again, didn't I? Oh dear. That was rude." Saeko said, more to herself than Yukiko.

"....I don't know who you are, but...but you stay away from me! If you come near me again I'll call the police!" Yukiko declared, intending to turn around and storm off.

"But then who will exorcise your ghost?" Saeko asked.

"Is that who I think it is?" one of the news of the weird techies asked.

"Oh yes." Kanshi confirmed. "Saeko Machiko. Self proclaimed greatest exorcist in Japan. Self-taught spiritualist with immense psychic powers. Or so she says. Borderline lunatic and suspected nymphomaniac, more likely. Claims to specialize in a rare form of shinto magic involving sex rituals and humiliating 'purification' acts."

"Did we hire her or something?" The tech asked.

"Nah. We've asked her to come on the show a time or two. Mostly when we need to spice things up with something comedic and raunchy during sweeps week. She's crazy as a loon, but its a fun kind of crazy. Nah, I just staged a little 'visitation' during her meditation that convinced her that Amagi was being haunted. With any luck, she'll notify US of what's going on so we have an excuse to show back up in Amagi's life and justify all the footage we've gathered. We play our cards right maybe Amagi will beg us to help her out with her embarrassing ghost problems. Maybe we'll even get her to sign a long term contract with us. Heh heh. See how she likes complaining to our sponsors after she agrees to strip off her clothes every week and be on film!" Kanshi said.

"Your kinda obsessed with this, huh?" The techie noted.

"Shut up and keep filming." Kanshi snapped.

"My card!" Saeko said, producing a small embossed business card from within the folds of her cleavage.

"Exorcist and....erotic psychic?" Yukiko asked, bewildered and a little terrified.

"Exactly! Shinto magic is a celebration of creation and all the spirits that embody it! Sex is the purist form of creation, and as the bearer of children women are the purest representatives of that form! And since ghosts are entities lingering on after ****, there is no more powerful a weapon to use against them than the magic of life and creation!" Saeko proclaimed.

".....This sounds insane." Yukiko noted.

"Tell me if this sounds insane! Last night you had an encounter with the ghost of Mayumi Yamano, who proceeded to humiliate you and fill you with lust!" Saeko declared loudly.

Yukiko blushed and looked around wildly.

"A-All right. You've made your point. Please be quiet!" She begged. "Yes, I had...something happen to me last night. But how do you know that?"

"Ahem. Exorcist and erotic PSYCHIC!" Saeko declared. "In any case...Yukiko, have you ever seen Ju-on?"

"What? The horror movie? No. What does that have to do with-" Yukiko began.

"In the movie, a **** victim returns as a Grudge to haunt first her killer then anyone foolish enough to enter her former home. The idea plays off old Shinto texts that imply that strong emotions experienced in the moment of **** can dominate and overwhelm the minds of dead spirits! While this usually means things like anger or hatred, sometimes other emotions come to the foreground. Emotions like LUST and SHAME. A ghost created from these emotions is unlikely to kill its chosen victim the way a grudged spirit would, but it will always seek to inflict as much shame and lust upon that person as possible. You live at the Amagi Inn, correct? The place where Miss Yamano was killed?" Saeko spoke a mile a minute.

"Where she disappeared." Yukiko corrected. "No one knows where she died."

"That makes sense, really. The emotions she experienced at the Inn were most certainly lust due to her encounters with Mr. Namatame and shame that the affair was made public! Now she wants to pass that shame and lust onto someone else. And the girl she has chosen, Yukiko, is you." Saeko said melodramatically.

"This...I..." Yukiko stuttered. "I have to go! I have school."

"Of course. Just hang onto my card. If this was an isolated incident perhaps you won't need my help. If not...well, give me a call. I have a host of rituals ready to exorcise the spirit from your body!" Saeko said.

Kanshi smiled. The nice part about Saeko was that her brand of exorcism was rarely less humiliating than the ghosts she was supposedly banishing. The fact that she had an amazing body that she often ended up baring as much as that of her clients was just icing on the cake. Now his job was simply to torment Amagi enough to convince her to call the woman.