Anger

(chapter originally by faith on writing.com)

"So..." Yukari whispered. "I doubt you came out here just to take me to class or...watch me...ahem. Did you need to talk to me, Aegis?"

Aegis sighed. Mentally pushing away any lingering feelings of affection or more lustful thoughts, she broke the embrace and took a step back, making a conscious effort to look her friend in the eye as she did.

"I came to apologize." She said simply.

Yukari blinked. "Apologize? Look, if this is about the sensor stuff-"

"No." Aegis said firmly. "I wish to apologize for causing you distress and endangering the life of our leader."

Yukari stared a moment, then took in a breath of her own. With a now unreadable mask on her face, she moved past the robot. "Come with me."

The air was heavy as Yukari made her way to a bench in the student plaza. "Sit." She said with a gesture.

Aegis obeyed, studying her friend carefully.

"Okay. So...what happened scared me. I won't deny that. And when I'm scared, I tend to...well, you saw. I get angry. Its not the first time Minako has taken the brunt of it when I start to panic. So that's most of what you saw when I was shouting."

"And yet I can't condemn you for your fear or anger. I did point a weapon at-"

"No one pointed anything at anyone. You saw a shadow. You planned to kill it. Like we've always done. Minako was the one who jumped in the way."

"It was still an unacceptable risk."

"Aegis...." Yukari sighed. "Look. I don't mind talking about this with you some other time. As scared as I was, you were probably way more scared when she did that! She is the one you've been obsessing over this whole time."

"That...is a complex matter. My focus on her was caused by numerous factors, many my cognizant functions had not fully recalled until earlier today. When we first met, my hardwired subroutines had her flagged as a subject of interest due to the entity I placed within her. The algorithms that simulate my feelings of guilt and shame added to the priority of that flag."

"Guilt and shame?"

"I was unable to stop that shadow. I completely altered the course of a little girl's life as a stop gap to cover my own failures. I believe what acts as my subconscious desired to stay close to her to monitor the monster sleeping within her, but also to atone in whatever capacity I could for what I had done to her."

"So...wait...is that the only reason? I thought you...you know...might like her. As a friend? Maybe more than that?" Yukari asked.

"I am still in the process of evaluating my feelings in light of this new data. It is true. She is...important. Intensely important."

"Important enough not to attack your number one enemy if it meant hurting her." Yukari noted.

"...Yes. I do not know when my first priority ceased to be the extermination of shadows...and that shadow most of all. But preserving her life eclipses all other functions. But as I said, what feelings I have for her are complex. Getting to know her as a person, getting to care about her, many of my feelings for her as an individual are still entangled with my feelings for her as a vessel I used to house a monster I could not defeat. They are difficult to separate. And the bits of data that approximate emotions I can say without hesitation are love for her directly are...also entangled in problematic subroutines."

"Meaning?"

"The most genuine feelings of affection I hold for her are grounded in...those feelings I have for all of you."

"All of us?"

"Aside from my programmers, you are as close an approximation to....many units of relationship I can name. Friends. Family. Comrades in arms. You have overseen my growth as a person, instructed me on the ways of society, taught me more about the human mind and all the contradictions in holds. You are all...profoundly important. Minako remains important to me. Vital. But it is no longer accurate to say she alone is my highest priority. You have each, individually and collectively, shaped who I am. You have all become my highest priority."

"....oooooh. I get it. Your worried cause mom and dad had a fight, huh?" Yukari said, a teasing note in her voice..

"I am concerned about your relationship with one another. But while you have taught me a great deal as a parent might a child, I find that metaphor...unacceptable."

"Oh?"

"Indeed. I believe many of my feelings in regards to your naked bodies would be considered highly unacceptable and taboo if I am considered your infant in this relationship."

"......" Yukari blushed, then shook her head as if to banish a strange thought. "Okay! We got off topic! My original point is...yes, I forgive you for pointing a weapon accidentally at our idiot leader when she jumped in front of you. But that's not why I'm angry!"

"....please explain."

Yukari took in a breath. "Okay. So...so you just said that we're all your number one priority, right?"

"Correct."

"And that's why you jumped in and tried to kill the shadow, right? Minako was in danger."

"That and I desired to make up for my past fail-"

"Okay. Do me a favor. Stop calling it your 'failure', okay?"

"Why would I not?"

"Because, miss robot, the whole reason that big nasty shadow was running amuck that night was because of my dad. My dad, who even after all the crap I've learned about him and the Kirijo Group, I still think of as a hero. The guy who saved the world with his own life. Except that this shadow you fought to a stand still seems to be the most intelligent one of the ones we fought over the year. On some level, based on what Minako said, it knew its purpose and that it had to reunite, and it would have done that if it wasn't stopped. But it was stop. You did everything you could to kill it, and when you couldn't you found a way to stop it anyway. The only reason I can say my dad's a hero and not one more victim who died for no reason is because of you and your stupid 'failiure'! So you don't get to call it that, understand? No one gets to trashtalk to girl who made my best memory the truth. Got it!"

Her tone was jovial, but there was a sharp seriousness behind Yukari's smile and a deep mix of pain and happiness in her eyes. Before such a look Aegis could only nod in compliance.

"Heh. I...keep getting off track. I needed to say all that, but also kinda...avoiding saying some other stuff. But...why I got so angry..." Yukari took in another breath. "Right. Your whole number one priority. So...for a long time, my dad was my number one priority. In a way, he still is...now more than ever. When he died, I was hurt, confused, alone...lost. When I came here, and started working with the Kirijo Group, I had a plan. Find the truth. Don't get killed, don't get conned. And do it all by myself. And that plan was going great. I was lonely, but I was determined! I didn't trust Mitsuru or Akihiko. I let myself get jealous easily. it helped keep my distance. And that's how it would have been..."

"Until Minako-chan?"

"Until Minako-chan. Heh. The night I found out the truth (at least, the version the Chairman wanted me to know) I really let her have it. I said a lot of awful things about her, Mitsuru, myself. And she just let me scream until I couldn't scream anymore. And I realized. I couldn't run away. I had a Persona, I had my dad's legacy. And I had all of you idiots. And at the time, that felt like a prison sentence. I couldn't do it alone. I had to keep you guys close. Even knowing that I was pretty stubborn. It took me a long time to realize getting stuck with these losers was the best thing for me. I'm like you. They're all my number one priority. You are all my number one. Minako shoved her persistent little way into my heart and once the door was open all you came barging in behind her one after another. You totally fucked up the plan."

".....I am glad we mean so much. But I still don't-"

"I'm mad because NONE OF YOU GET IT! First I literally had to slap some sense back into Mitsuru. Then Minako trots off to confront some super shadow in her brain instead of telling us about this other timeline crap! Then you see a shadow and go charging off when we were standing right there!"

"...you did not have any weapons, or the ability to call forth a persona, or even the slightest bit of protection or armor..."

"I had a few health potions in my bag! Plus I have my shoes on! I could have kicked it!"

"That does not seem like an effective-"

"I could have done SOMETHING. Anything. The odds were better with two of us fighting than one. Tell me I'm wrong."

"...the difference is statistically insig-"

"Tell me I'm wrong."

"You are not wrong."

"Exactly. We're stronger together than going it alone. Obviously. And yet how is it that out of all of you, my valedictorian senpai, a super advanced AI, and the girl who seems to know more about my heart and mind than anyone else...how do I know this and all of you are clueless?"

"I....because you are precious to me, Yukari-san, I do not wish to risk seeing you hurt."

"I thought you'd say that. I understand the sentiment. But I care about all of you too. So imagine how it would feel if me or Minako or any of your number one priorities went off and got into a dangerous situation and you couldn't do anything but watch! Does that sound like fun?"

"...."

"Yeah. Didn't think so. I...I'm sorry. But you guys wormed your way in when I wanted you out. Now its too late. I...love you all. I...I'm not getting stuck on the sidelines again. I...I'm done crying over dead heroes, okay? I'm done being left behind, wondering if I could make a difference if I'd been there. We all fight together, win or lose. You don't get to leave me behind! Understand?"

Again, all Aegis could do was nod.