Sorry, but No.

Yeah, this is a mess. You admit, this was probably the exact worst time for you to be blindsided by your crush, but it happened and now you have to handle the aftermath.

The fact that something feels fundamentally different now doesn’t help set you at ease. You can’t quite place your finger on it, but the feeling is there.

Stepping away from Heather so that there’s a more polite distance between you, you bump shoulders with Sam. You wouldn’t be lying when you said that the smile she shot you in response left you feeling warm all over. Turning back to Heather, who is now staring slightly with her mouth agape, you take a breath before deciding to give her a definite response.

“Sorry, Heather.” You shrug, and it feels strange to actually turn down the girl you’ve been ogling for so long, but you’re not about to abandon a good thing and lose Sam’s trust just for the chance of something that probably has much less of a chance of working out. “But I’d be kind of a prick if I cheated on my girlfriend.” You see her mouth the word ‘girlfriend’ as though she didn’t understand its meaning, and the baffled expression on Charlie’s face is almost enough to make you laugh. When the brunette’s eyes flick between you and Sam, you can almost see the moment she realizes your meaning.

“The hell, roomie….” You don’t know what Charlie is actually upset about, but knowing him he’d probably been gunning for an opportunity to fuck your redheaded roommate, so the muttering you hear from his direction is quickly tuned out.

“You’re serious.” Heather has her arms crossed, and in a display of somewhat extraordinary self control you manage to keep your eyes above her neck, despite the temptation. “I don’t even… what?”

“Sounds pretty simple to me, Sugar-tits.” Meg emphasizes the nickname by popping another bubble, and you are beginning to wonder if her apparent addiction to gum is going to get annoying far too quickly. “And I don’t know how to explain it in scientific terms, so I don’t know how much clearer it can get.”

“And…. How the hell did that happen? And when?” You can’t tell if Heather’s tone is one of shock or offense, and the difficulty deciding makes you begin to wonder if she’s ever been turned down before. If she hasn’t that might explain one or two things. But even so, why would she react that way towards you when she had made no real indications of interest before?

(A part of you whispers that maybe you’re just an oblivious bastard, and points out the redhead next to you, but you quietly resolve to ignore that voice until things have calmed down)

“Because I like her. And earlier today.” You can see Sam preening slightly with a bashful smile out of the corner of your eye, and briefly get caught up in the dark spiral that was thinking how cute your girlfriend is, but you cut off the internal gushing (geez, and you thought the honeymoon phase was exaggerated when people described it) before your silence becomes too egregious, throwing the brunette a pleasant smile. She stares at you for a long moment before looking at Sam. Her lips pull into a thin line before she glares into the distance, not looking at any of you. The silence that follows is less uncomfortable than it is awkward, and you’re not sure how to relieve it.

“Okay! Now that we’ve all gotten things out into the open, I think we have to figure out how this is going to work.” Meg steps forward again, continuing to aim Trusty at Charlie (though from the angle, it looks like she’s aiming specifically at his crotch). “There are twice as many of us here as there were before, and it’s obvious not all of us are going to be able to walk around holding hands and singing and shit.” When no one spoke up, she nodded. “Right. So, Numbnuts, Barbell, you’re not staying in the same apartment as any of the rest of us.”

“What?” Charlie looks and sounds scandalized, but Alex merely shrugs.

“Buttercup and Red clearly have problems with you, and as much as I don’t like what I’ve seen of… Heather, right? Right. I don’t think sticking her in an apartment with you until we figure out the next step is a suitable punishment.” She jerks her head over her shoulder. “You can stay in one of my roomies’ rooms. They barely stayed there anyway, so it shouldn’t be too bad.”

“Oh.” Heather blinks. “Uh, thanks?”

“Don’t mention it, Sugar-tits.” Snapping her gum, Meg turns to you. “Now, by virtue of my not being able to convince anyone of anything without a deadly weapon, Sugar-tits being biased, Numbnuts being a human brick wall, Barbell being quiet but possibly also a human brick, and Red being a total sub -”

“What?” Sam’s expression is halfway between shock and embarrassment, but doesn’t seem to object.

“I vote for Buttercup to be the interim boss.” Meg nods to you, looking for all the world like this is the end of the conversation.