Martian Fashion, or lack thereof

“Hey, I haven’t seen you around here before, are you new?” you ask as Mars walked into the tailor shop you and Agathena had ended up opening.

“I’m Ma- . . . yes I’m new to town” Mars answered, quickly changing what she was about to say.

“Well then!” You say with cheer, “it’s always nice meeting new customers, what can we do for you?” you ask and Mars frowned as she looked around.

“I’m . . .” Mars began before stopping. She looked very uncomfortable at that moment and you couldn’t help notice she still hadn’t done anything about her boobs. For a war god to be going braless, that would end in pain. “Do you have anything to tie down my b-breasts?” the war god asked with a scowl. You blink as though this was a strange question and contemplate how best to answer her. The few weeks you’ve spent with Agathena have been very educational, she has taught you so much about women that you’re fast becoming an expert.

“Um, yes, we have several options but you’re gonna have to be specific to the role” you reply “A simple girdle is enough for most women’s out and about needs” you add before walking over to a rack full of cords. You pull one out and hand it to Mars who then blinks at it like she has no idea what it is or what it does. “Tie it around your bust” you tell her and Mars blinks at you again. “Oh boy” you mutter. Intellectually you are aware that Mars, having been staunchly male up to right this very moment would have no knowledge of women other than they look nice, but still. With a you take the girdle back and then tie it around Mars’ bust yourself.

“There!” you say with some cheer, stepping back and viewing the monstrosity that is a standard male tunic with a girdle and a belt. “How’s that?” you ask.

“Umm” Mars replied before testing out a few punches and then a jump for good measure. “Not good enough” she muttered “Is this the best you have?” she asked with a scowl again. You sigh.

“Again, needed to be specific here, based on those fancy moves of yours, you are one of those girls in Andraste’s Shrine?” you state questioningly.

“Wh-uhh yes” Mars answered. You sigh again at her obvious responses.

“Then you are probably going to want the garment they call a ‘bra’” you say. Mars frowned in thought.

“And this ‘bra’ will allow me to fight with these . . . on my chest?” Mars asked, gesturing at her boobs. You are fairly confident that she was going to call them something else but decided not to at the last second.

“It’s exactly what they were designed for” youtell the war goddess. “They even have legion harnesses for the same purpose” you add.

“Then I shall take one” Mars told you decisively. “Anything valued by the legion enough for standardised adoption is good enough for me” she proclaimed. You did what could only be called an ‘anime sweat drop’ as you beheld the experience that is female Mars.

“Not quite that simple I’m afraid, they require some fitting” you tell the war goddess. Said goddess frowned at you in response. “There’s a hundred ways they can be fitted wrong, from being so short that you can’t tie them off with a belt or a cord, to having neck straps so long that it won’t matter if you did they’ll still slip right off” you explain and Mars clenched her teeth in annoyance.

“This is going to require me being naked isn’t it?” Mars asked and you nodded. The woman sighed as she undid her belt and bridal before slipping her tunic off. She was, at least, wearing a loincloth. but unfortunately for her tinted glass windows are a thousand or two years out. You decided not to point this out to her and ignored the various people on the street who stopped for a good look.

“Right then, won’t be a moment” you say before going behind the counter of your store and pulling out a tape measure. You are slowly but surely introducing the metric system to Tarantium. By simple virtue of it being a hell of a lot more precise than any other measuring system, a lot of seamstresses have come to you to buy a measuring tape.

With the measuring tape in hand, you went back to your fashion disaster and got her sizes before running off into the back room to see if you had anything in her size. The way the bra worked, it didn’t matter so much if it was loose at the bottom because it was going to be tied off with a belt. For that matter, designers tended to occasionally make it almost to the length of a modern crop top since it didn’t matter how long it was, you are tying it off with a belt. In any case, you did have a bra in Mars’ size and so you ambled back.

Mars was blushing when you returned and very pointedly facing the exact opposite direction to the street.

“Will that fit? Must I remain unclothed any longer?” Mars snapped at you.

“Now, now, I’m trying to help you here, no need to get snappy” you scold before holding out the bra. Mars put it on and you pass her a belt which she applied as well. Then, with the new supportive gear, she tried the same punches as before and the jump, and you used your god power to suppress the sound of the men on the street cheering as the loincloth rose on each jump and she flashed the crowd. Another little mental flex and suddenly, all the men on the street remembered they were busy doing something else. Though their apparent interest in such an impromptu show did give you an idea. One you resolved to explore with Ishtar later.

“Much better!” Mars said with a grin before recovering her tunic and redressing herself. She did, however, leave the girdle on the floor which was inconsiderate, you thought. “Is there anything else I need to know about this ‘bra’?” Mars asked.

“Yeah” you reply, holding out a hand. “It’s gonna set you back some coin” you tell the goddess, wondering if Artemis gave her any tips on how to human at all.

“Uhhhh” Mars replied, wide eyed as she no doubt realised she had forgotten something critical.

“You did go on a shopping trip with some money, yes?” you asked almost rhetorically.

“What would be a valuable enough trade?” Mars asked sheepishly. You give the woman a deadpan look.

“I’ll pay for it myself on one condition” you say, still giving her a deadpan. “I want arse” you say in a perfect deadpan tone.

“You want a mule?” Mars asked with a confused frown.

“No, you pay with your body” you reply and Mars finally caught on.

“They surely aren’t that expensive are they?” the woman asked, looking considerably more feminine in that moment.

“No, but your complete sexual inexperience lowers the price value of sexual favours, so I’m going to have you help out around the shop instead” You say with a shrug. You could go into ****-y territory, the whole sexual favours thing, but at this point it would take too long to educate Mars and she was prideful enough that she’d probably rip the bra off in the first ever instance of ‘bra off o’ clock’ in history.

“Help out how?” Mars asked with a scowl. She looked cute scowling, perhaps you should tell her that at some point.

“Modelling dresses I’ve designed so that girls might want to buy them” you tell the war goddess. Mars, for her part, blinked in response.

“Will I have to . . . dress in the open?” Mars asked. A man who had been standing a bit too close to be anything but eavesdropping was looking at you very hopefully. You glare at him to send him running.

“No, we’ve given the street enough of a show I think, besides, I want to attract female clientele and there’s no doubt many girls and women who’d love to stare at tits, they can have their pick when they go to the bath houses” You tell the goddess. “Now, let’s get you into something downright girly” you say with an eager purr. Mars suddenly got a frightened look for some reason. Buggered if you knew why, but this was going to be fun.