Plan dinner out with Lil and Nicola.

"Mother Christmas here," Nicola greeted Lillian on the phone. "It's all go for tonight."

Lillian stood beside Bernie Bernstein in the ladies' room at the mall, holding her cell phone a few inches from her ear. The little speaker wasn't quite up to "Aunt Nicky's" voice, and buzzed with distortion whenever Nicola spoke up or laughed.

Nicola continued, "Joyce's circle seems frightfully modern, ladies bringing another fem from the fam to cheer one another on in frigging their furrows. But I'm frightfully modern, you'd have to admit, and it doesn't surprise me you could do with a little cheering on. Shall I take you to supper, Lilly, and you can catch me up on how you gave that rat the boot? And about shopping, of course?"

Bernie watched Lil smile as she listened to her godmother. She heard almost every word Nicola uttered.

"Well, the family thing is just a special theme this time," Lil said. "Dinner sounds fine, Aunt Nicky. I know you like Japanese best. Can we go to Benihana?"

"Benihana was for your birthday, sweet," Nicola said. "It's teppanyaki, tourist rubbish, not really Japanese. I'll take you to a place we can get robatayaki. Charcoal grilled to-order. I promise not to feed you anything mysterious or squishy or slimy."

"Um, okay Aunt Nicky," Lil said.

At Bernie's suggestion, they set a time that would give them a comfortable margin to arrive at Joyce and Bernie's house with time for a quick wash-up.

"Give me a jingle, I'll swoop round and carry you off from wherever you're at," Nicola said.

"Thanks Aunt Nicky, I'm so happy you're coming with me," Lil said.

A loud laugh strained Lil's little phone. "It will be a PLEASURE. To COME. With you," Nicola said. "Must get my fat naked arse in the bath now. Toodle-oo!" The connection closed.

Lil looked at Bernie, who seemed a trifle alarmed. "Don't worry, she can turn it down in company," Lil said. "She's really great."

Bernie smiled. "Shagadelic?" she quipped.

Lil giggled helplessly for half a minute. She dabbed at her eyes and tried to rearrange her hair. "That's bad, Bernie!" she protested. "But maybe...yeah. She is. DON'T say it tonight or I won't be able to stop giggling."

"So I shouldn't greet her with 'Good evening Aunt Shaggie'?" Bernie teased.

"Ah, ha ha ha ha! Ooh stop!" Lil pleaded, her face deep pink.

Finally Lil got her breath back under control. She met Bernie's eyes and swallowed, her face turning earnest and serious. "I, I..." she started. "I'm really looking forward to, to actually seeing you masturbate tonight. Um. I liked what I heard."

Bernie held her face even as she replied. "Thanks," she said. "I'm happy you did." She smiled gently at Lil. "We've got big plans tonight, so let's take it easy now. No more lingerie shops with salesgirls hitting on us."

Lil laughed out loud. "Yeah. That was sexy but well, it was more that it was pretty weird how Lei was touching you up so much when she was taking your measurements."

Bernie took a deep breath. "Yeah," she said. It had been the charge from that touching which had led Bernie into the bathroom to jill off to reclaim her sexual center. But Lil had come too, and jilled off in the next toilet stall over. And now...

"You still up to get our cards read?" Lil asked Bernie.