Customer Service

Before you could find an opening to solve your 'little problem', you felt your phone begin to ring. The caller ID said 'Unknown Caller'. You really weren't in the mood for dealing with spam calls, so you move to cancel the call... and somehow pick up the call instead. A similar sensation to the first time you were compelled to use your own dick as a dildo washes over you, and you put the phone up to your ear.

"Hello?" you question to the person on the other side of the call. Sitting up causes you to, once again, be reminded of the fact that your dick was still inside your own vagina.

"Hello, is this Jane Doe?" A male voice asks. You respond that it is. He reads your address to you, and acknowledge that that is where you live. Out of the corner of your eye you can see Anna giving you a curious look. "Alright. Just so you are aware this call will be monitored and recorded for quality assurance purposes. You do not have the option to opt of of this phone call until a representative of Aphrodite's Aphrodisiacs allows it. You will now be transferred to a member of customer service management. Please hold." The voice cuts out, and you hear some faint Muzak mixed with what you assume to be sexual moans. You tug your arm away from your ear, and immediately find yourself pressing the speaker button. It appears the man was right, and that you couldn't hang up on this phone call.

Hearing the very strange mix coming out of your phone's speakers Anna's confused expression intensifies. You mouth 'customer service' at her before returning the phone to your ear. You see her nod and start ruffling through the boxes. You Hear a particularly load moan come from your phone before the Muzak suddenly cuts out, and voice you can only describe as '10-pack a day grandma' cuts in.

"Alrighty Ms. Doe. Let me go over the facts as I have them. Earlier today you place an order for one non-reactionary ring, and immediately download the app. Twenty minutes later you receive a delivery that clearly is not what you purchased. We then have a record of a you, a registered biological female, somehow managed to have penetrative intercourse with yourself through the use of one of the rings you received. Would you care to elaborate on that?" The intimidating authoritative voice didn't leave you much of an option, even if you wanted to hang up. The only answer that would help you get out of this faster was honesty.

"I'm.. Well, I am legally a hermaphrodite, but I live my life as a woman. I must have just automatically clicked that box when I saw it," You swallowed hard. It was difficult admitting that outloud, even at the doctor's office, because of how much you had to hide that part of yourself every day.

"Dual- or multi-purpose gonads, and are they internal or external?" You were stunned by the shear brazenness of this woman.

"I'm sorry? That seems a little personal." What business did she have asking you for information like that over the phone?

"This is purely for record keeping purposes, we make magic sex toys, we don't judge people in customer service or R 'n D. That's what the marketing team is for," You hear her chuckle at her own joke, "If it makes you feel any better you would be far from the first Futanari to use our services." You sigh into the receiver. If anyone could get you out of this mess it was going to be the woman on the other side of the phone.

"Uh well, the doctor tells me they're multipurpose and internal..." There was some typing going on the other end of the phone. When you check to see how Anna was doing, you notice her staring at an open letter from the box that you must have missed before. With all her focus, you can't help but notice how cute your sister looked in her pajamas, before your attention is shifted to the throbbing you still feel in your nether bits, and then shifted back to the phone call.

"Now, were you intending on sexual intercourse using just your own organs, or were you compelled to." The stiff reminder of what had happened earlier had your stiff member flexing once more.

"Not intentional." You have to consciously keep your spare hand from stimulating parts of your body like your animal brain wanted you to.

"Noted," the voice responded, and you could hear some more typing. "The next event we have on record is intercourse with an .. Anna Doe immediately after. Was this also unintentional?"

"Wah, now how the hell did - ?"

"We keep very good records," the calmer raspy voice cut you off.

"Yeah, you could say unintentional." The reminder of the hate-filled look on Anna's face earlier had fortunately put a damper on your ever-present arousal.

"Next we have a statement of additional penetrative intercourse with yourself that is currently ongoing, I am going to just assume that again, this was not intentional."

"Correct." You sigh into the receiver, once more. You weren't very far into this conversation, but could already feel that it wasn't going in your favor.

"We also have that the other individual, this Anna Doe is in the room with you right now."

"Very good records?" You ask to no reply. "Yeah, she's here." You look over at Anna once more, and see that she has tuned you out, and is currently organizing your shipment, and occasionally looking back at that letter. "So, now that we're on the same page, what happens now?"

"I suppose that depends on the two of you," You start to stutter out a response, but the woman cuts you off with what you can only assume was a prepared statement with how rehearsed it sounded. "We here at Aphrodite's Aphrodisiacs strive for accuracy and discretion. There was an error in shipping involving another order by another Jane Doe. When the representative who placed the order on behalf of the other Jane Doe followed up on the details she was notified of the issue and we are looking into who made such a mistake. I can promise you that they will be met with severe punishment." While she takes a break to breathe, you pull your hand off your chest, where it had been fondling one of your breasts. "You on the other hand are in a bit of a predicament. Seeing as there was no intents of theft or fraud, we are willing to make certain.. considerations for this case."

"Like?" Some good news would certainly be appreciated about now.

"Like, ignore all of the fine print you may or may not have realized you signed when you made your purchase. There's a lot worse than what has already happened that we can do to you," She takes a moment for a scripted dramatic pause that has the desired effect, "and to this Anna.. for what has occured today. However, we would rather not risk this fiasco have a repeat. With your full cooperation we will have the items linked to your account within the next twenty four hours, and we will set up a hotline to R&D for any report you may wish to file. In return this incident does not go any further than those who already know about it."

You take a moment to consider what she offered. Leverage against this company might do you some good, but only if your could actually use it.

"And just out of curiosity what would the consequences be if this situation got out?" You could hear a sigh of frustration, stress, and exhaustion from the other end of the line.

“Look, you violated a lot of fine print by using something that was technically not yours. I’m willing to go easy on you. Keep the stuff we already sent you, we won’t charge you for it. Don’t mention this fuckup to anyone else. We know where you live, and remember: We keep really good records.” You then heard a dial tone from the other end of the line, and found you could put down your phone. It appears the woman was satisfied with letting her unspoken threat linger in the air, and letting your imagination do the work for her. It was good that the items would be linked to your

Anna walks over to you as soon as she sees that the call is over, and hands you the paper she had been reading. You take a note of how pale she looked, before watching her leave your room. You check what she had seen on the paper, and the first words you see are "Contents: Breeder Ring"....