Sail the seventeen seas

Rosamondo's ship, the Scarlet Lady, is moored towards the end of the docks. A lot of heads turn to stare at the pirate queen as she marches through the port town, her face scarlet, her breeches down around her ankles, her lacy white bloomers on display for all the townsfolk. She doesn't look happy, but there's not a lot she can do about it. You trot along behind her, enjoying the sight of her swaying bottom as she waddles towards the ship.

Her crew are mostly women, with a few men scattered here and there for variety. Their jaws drop as they see their captain shuffle up the gangplank with her pants down. There's a few giggles, swiftly muffled as Rosamondo turns a murderous glare on them.

"We're setting sail for Treasure Island," she barks. "And no smart comments, d'you hear me?"

"But, captain..." The first mate, a bold dark-skinned woman with braids and big tits, steps forward. "You've not got your breeches on, captain."

"D'you think I don't know that, Poppy? Haul anchor and shut up about it."

"Only it's hard enough keeping this motley crew in line as it is. You're supposed to be the terror of the seventeen seas, captain. The sailors won't respect you if you go around with your knickers showing."

"Just don't mention it, all right? I've had a rough day as it is."

"And who's this guy? Are we taking him to Treasure Island?"

"Raider, at your service," you say, grabbing Poppy's hand and shaking it. "Very pleased to meet you, Poppy. To answer your question, I beat Rosamondo in a fair fight and took her dignity as my reward. Now she has to take me to Treasure Island with her pants down. Isn't that right, Rosa?"

"Aye," mutters Rosamondo.

"Pretty embarrassing to be standing in front of your whole crew in your underwear, isn't it? Look, they're making fun of you, even though you expressly told them not to. How cute."

"Shut up."

"Now go hoist the mainsail or whatever it is you do." You give Rosamondo's bottom a friendly slap, propelling her towards a crowd of amused sailors who look like they're preparing to have a lot of fun at her expense. "Weigh anchor, everyone! Swab the deck and haul the keels! We're setting sail for Treasure Island!"

"Hey," protests Poppy. "That isn't fair. You can't just walk aboard and take over the ship. You don't even know the right names for things."

"Would you like me to take your dignity as well, Poppy?"

"Hoisting the mainsail! Right away, boss!"