No!

Something has to be wrong; you were a horrible human being. Not overtly a douche, you didn't openly start fights or intentionally hurt others, physically, but you were mean and obnoxious and an asshole. But, maybe that was enough to get in to the Good Place? Maybe just not being a murderous asshole was what it took? I mean, it's not like you were sorry for all those things you did...

"Okay here," Amber says, looking down and then pulling her hair back into a pony tail. You love the way the little tight red ringlets moved out of the way giving you an awesome shot at her cleavage. She opens a file that you didn't see sitting on he desk just a second ago.

"Bradley Jones," she says and looks up with a smile. There's no way she didn't catch you looking at her tits and her nipples got harder if anything. "You were an exceptional Human being," she said with her smile getting more intense. Dirtier? Jesus. You're in the Good Place and you've got a raging boner. Amber flicks her hand at a wall and it shows a video of someone handing out christmas gifts at what looks like an Orphanage, view as if you were looking at your own hands. But the problem is, they're not your hands.

"For 20 years you helped out at the Sisters of our Sacred Sacrifice Orphanage and Retirement Home, handing out your own possessions as presents. Aww, that's sweet, look at her face. I believe that's Jenny Jones, and because of your generosity and charity she changed her life and used you as a model for her giving and career." You watched as a little girl bounded up and took a red wrapped present that the not-you was handing out and she mouthed "thank you!" before taking it. As she sat down, she gave the present to a friend of hers sitting in a corner of the room but didn't come back to get another one.

"That's sweet, so she's in the Good Place, then?" you say, the words coming out of your mouth before you could think to stop them.

"No, she..." Amber said and then leafed through another folder on her desk that definitely wasn't there a second ago. "Spent her life until she was 28 helping others, but she didn't get enough points to cancel out all of her bad points from living on the street and the choices she made there before arriving at Our Sisters of Sacred Sacrifice and moments before she would have earned those points she was...struck down by a speeding car."

"Oh," you say, not knowing what else to say.

"She was in the process of pushing an elderly man out of the path of the car, who sadly went into the path of another oncoming vehicle when Jenny was then run over by a...Good Times Icecream Truck. The music never did shut off after that, I guess it was pretty distracting for the paramedics."

"Ohhhhhh," you say, again at a loss.

"But, that's neither here nor there, we're not talking about Jenny, we're talking about you, Bradley. Your life of giving up material possessions, being a beacon to others and showing others how to live a charitable life has definitely earned you a place here in The Good Place," Amber said, standing, her skirt having ridden up just a bit and your eyes shifting down to her thighs.

"Come on, let's show you around the neighborhood!" she says with a jubilant enthusiasm.

"Yeah, let's do that and definitely not talk about the other things I've done," you say half under your breath. As you both stand and leave Amber's office.