Nightfall

I shifted in my seat, and could not summon a response. My face was in shadow so dark I could no longer see my own nose, and yet it offered little cloaking from her gaze. I may as well have stood facing a floodlight. My foot twitched nervously in spite of me, and I floundered for a response, but Carmencita's patience ran out before I could even open my mouth. She leaned forward again. Both her eyes glowed, bursting from the darkness to try and probe my brains. Her effort was in vain.

"Come on, Frank," she sighed, "I should know you enough by now," and added "Beyond the physical - inch by inch." She stared at me a moment, biting one lip, but I still said nothing.

"I'll lay it out for you," she continued, "You can answer me later... in the morning, perhaps, when we're both rested. First of all, I never believed you were ill. You all but admitted it wasn't true and the fact you fucked me just fine is plain confirmation, besides which you'd never be that reckless."

She let herself fall back in her chair again, and her face nearly disappeared. Outside, the light was fading faster and faster. "The other thing is your bag. It hit the floor with a thump when I got it off your back so's I could tease you. It's way more full than is justified by some petty errand your mum sent you on, so I know that bit is a lie too. So this is my guess: you left home early, round about the same time you'd come to school, only you never came. You brought a pile of stuff to keep you busy all day, food, books, whatever, and hoped no one would notice."

Again she stared at me, as if awaiting that I confirm or deny her conclusions, but I kept my lips sealed tight. Better to let her finish her speculations without me adding further lies. It was bad enough she had so much contradicting rubbish to play with already.

"You fled home," she said, and paused again. "You're always fleeing home," she remarked, "Always really early at school. But this time it's got weight behind it - don't tell me about it," she waved a hand at me, "I don't need to hear the gore yet."

No more was said for a while. Carmencita finished her drink and set the empty cup down on a stool nearby, and sat opposite me in the shadows in silence, leaving me to stew in my frustration. It was true, what my former crush had divined from my awful excuses and terrible acting. As always she had seen right through me, correctly pegged the circumstances of our present meeting, and it still didn't occur to her what was truly off - or wouldn't admit it. The real me and the real Carmen were but a few dozen inches apart, and both lacked either the understanding or the courage, in my case, to peel back the barrier and come free. I certainly wasn't about to reveal myself now. For all that I might have seen tiny breaks in the chains holding the minds of my peers, I couldn't think of a way to touch them without courting doom. And the scrambling machine beneath the ramparts sounded extremely painful...

"Visit me on a summer night next time," Carmencita said, and rose from her chair. "We'll not be stargazing much until then." The sun was gone now, and the sky was a dirty mess of greys and oranges from the City's lights bouncing off the clouds. On her feet and at her full height, with light still only coming from lampposts outside, Carmen's body was catching shadows in the shape of an immaterial bikini, making it the first time I was seeing her almost decent according to conventions recently dissolved. The curves of her hips, thighs and shoulders were nonetheless arousing however, and I stirred predictably down below. In spite of all the potential drama which should have killed the mood, I was nearly distracted so I didn't hear what she was saying.

"Dinner in ten minutes," she said, "And get yourself something to keep your bare bum off my chairs."

"What?" I spluttered.

"You heard me. There's a spare gown hanging off the bedroom door - that's on the left when you come in the apartment..."

She moved toward her kitchen and I jumped to follow. "Shouldn't I be getting home?"

"Don't be silly, Frank," she chided me over her shoulder, "If you weren't ill before, you definitely will be if you go a wandering out there again at this hour. Get dressed."

"Um..." I stammered, but she paid me no mind, disappearing into the kitchen. "Damn," I muttered, and walked automatically the way she'd bid me. Passing by the bundle of clothes on top my bag I heard the distinctive buzzing of my phone where it lay buried in the cloth. I knelt down and hurriedly fished it out, only to see the screen show the "out of battery - shutting down" message. I looked around for a power outlet, and then cursed as I realized I hadn't brought a plug with me. Whatever this was would have to wait. Besides which if it was one of the likely people to be calling me, I'd best not let Carmen hear of it.

The continuous tension of the situation somehow only fuelled my lewd thoughts, and so it felt blasphemous wearing the spare dressing gown, because of how I thought it would look on the definite article instead of the pyjama bottoms and apron that she was currently wearing. The material was one of those really expensive fabrics with paradoxical properties, plutonian wool perhaps: it was simultaneously warm like a thick blanket, and yet so thin you could basically see right through. The colour was exactly like my host's eyes, always stuck in a fluid limbo between jade green and blue. I couldn't but think of what it would be like to behold Carmencita veiled in this garment, naked underneath preferably. The forever changing colours would make her appear as a goddess of some alien realm.

The meal was nothing to write home about: two Argyrean scarab beetles heated in the microwave, and some bamboo rhubarb salad. It was over quickly, during which short interval of normalcy Carmen gave me pointers as to what I'd missed of the lessons in the morning. I only half listened, just enough to acknowledge believably. All mentioning school did was remind me of its myriad occasions to get brain-scrambled like Miss Morgan. I needed to leave the City. If the way to Lacus Solis was blocked, then perhaps a trip on an overground railroad wouldn't be too bad. There was even a station just down the road...

Thoughts of the uncertain future drew my full attention, and I didn't notice the environment change around me until a hand came to rest on my shoulder and squeezed gently. I started, still unable to relax, and Carmencita casually gave me even more cause for alarm.

"Come on, let's go to bed," she said.

"To bed?" I repeated.

"To bed."

"Oh."

She pulled on my arm and I rose to follow her, dazed. The lights went out and she guided me effortlessly in the dark, back through the small atrium at the entrance of the apartment, and into the room behind the window. Before I knew it, sheets were being pulled over me and her naked form slithered up close to mine.

There was no time to panic, to wonder what would become of me, if I would still have free will in the morning. A voice whispered a simple command in my ear, and all the fight went out of me. I let my weight sink into the mattress, and let the woman against me mould her shape to mine.

"Sleep until I wake you," she breathed, and I tumbled into the abyss.