Terrible

Your penis is small and you are super awkward.

Constantly being in a panic about how small your dick is has made you absolutely awful to be around.

You are clammy, sweaty palmed, and stuttering constantly. The fear of your small penis ending this possibly once in a lifetime chance to have romantic relations horrifies you. Moreover, if Jen finds out, she might tell other people and crush your chance at happiness even further.

You almost preferred being alone, at least then your pathetic weakness wasn't so carefully scrutinized. But now that you actually have a girlfriend, all of whats wrong with you actually matters. Every day you watch the smile melt off her face as she suffers in your presence. Any time things go well you fear a wandering hand may cement your doom.

Before, your deformity was safe from revelation by your retreat from romance. You could live a life of deluded possibility all in your head. Not fantasy per se, but you could at least move ahead every day thinking that there was some world of joy that rested beyond the horizon.

Not now. Now you are on edge. The blade of Damocles hangs by a horses hair above you as you feast. But the food turns to ash in your mouth knowing how close you are to damnation. How close you are to being shown the cold reality of your identity and what life has in store for you.

You are a small penised man in a big penis world. You can never be loved, and even if you could, could you really love someone who loved you? Would you even want someone to love you while so deformed? Would such a freakish woman be worth loving back? Would they even understand what it is to doom another generation with this? Their naivety would be damning on it's own. Could you even respect a single person who truly knew you and didn't put a bullet in your skull? DEAR GOD MAKE IT STOP EVERY SECOND OF HER PRESENCE CAUSES A NEW LAYER OF MISERY