What needs to be said.

I sighed. "Hello, and welcome back."

"You may be wondering what this chapter is. Hell, I don't even know what half of these chapters are honestly."

"The point of this chapter, this story I guess, is to poke fun at other stories."

"Not to say my stories aren't great, they're fucking amazing. Please read my other stories, they are much better than this one."

"My username is @AUsernameInWhichIThoughtYouHadToPutInYourEmailAndIDidAndIRegretItEverySinglDay"

"The first topic I am addressing, or perhaps bringing into the light is filler stories."

"Filler stories is basically a writer writing a bland story and expects other writers to continue with that. New flash, it doesn't work."

"The second type of stories are what I call Blue Ball Erotica."

"You may write some of the greatest piece of erotica in the world, and you build up to a moment in which you know they're finally going to do it."

"And when they finally do it, the chapter ends. And the last time the author updates is like two years ago."

"Your giving me the most greatest blue balls in my life and when you don't finish, what do you get? A chapter that was great, and a pair of soggy balls."

"Not cool. My grandma is cooler than this and she's dead. She ain't got no balls, cause in her time erotica was written and finished and in her time, and blue balls were just a term to describe blue balls."

"My grandma will be very dissapointed," I shook my head. "Not cool at all."

"And the third type of story I don't enjoy is filler 'chapters'. You see it all the time, especially in stories like Normality and Items of Power."

"Writers just churn out one-sentence chapters and just abandon them."

"That's laziness at it's finest you know."

"And I think that's all."

"Please enjoy your regular, terrible content courtesy of moi."