A Burger and Fries

You hunker down in a booth in a small diner, and breath in the aroma of your fresh double-cheeseburger and large serving of fries. It’s junk food through and through, but it is 9 PM, and you are starving. The place has a real retro look about it, with license plates lining the wall and a dimly lit DRINK COCA COLA sign hanging by the bar. In the booth behind you, Jack is cutting his way through a steak. You had offered to eat with him, but he insisted on sitting alone, wanting to ‘keep his options open.’

As you chow down on your burger, you spot a leggy dark-haired vixen repping ChiO letters heading down the walkway between the booths, bearing a salad and looking for a booth. You make eyes with her, and the edge of her lips quirk up.

“There’s an open seat here,” you venture, gesturing at the open seat opposite you.

“Is there now?” she says. Her gaze drifts over you and at the scene, and then it travels just a touch further, settling on Jack. “I guess somebody else will have to take it, then.”

Your heart plummets as she passes you, and sidles into Jack’s booth, where you hear her begin to strike up some indistinct conversation.

“Yeah, Adriana tends to do shit like that,” another girl says, sliding into the booth with nothing but a cola. She’s got a cute little black dress on, a ChiO jacket on top of it, and auburn hair to complement it.

“What do you mean?” you ask, turning to face her. She has hardly any make-up to accent her face, which seems to make her cuter somehow.

Nora

“Oh nothing, I really shouldn’t be spilling dirt on a sister,” she says, looking off to the side. “But screw it, you’re not going to tell anyone yeah?”

“Swear on my father’s left toe.”

“Hmm.. would have preferred the right, but this’ll do,” she says, taking a sip out of the drink and smacking her lips. “So here’s the thing about Adriana—wait, you were at the mixer the other day, right?”

“Yeah, I think I might have seen you two there then,” you reply.

“Amazing. So you were the guy talking to Shruti, eh? Well, Adriana’s an awful lot like her. She’ll always try to go for the guy that she thinks is the ‘hardest to get.’ And most of the time, she’ll walk away with him in tow. I kinda hate her for it, but also, I could never pull that off, so more power to her.”

“Wow, she sounds like kind of a tit,” you say, taking the opportunity to check out your booth-mate’s tits. They’re delightfully perky.

“You’ve got to be more strategic when you check girls out like that, …”

“Alex,” you say. “What’s your name?”

“Nora,” she says. “As I was saying, you’ve got to be subtle. The technique that I’ve seen employed most successfully I like to call ‘Cross the Ocean in Broad Daylight.’ It’s a classic from the 36 Stratagems.”

“It’s been about 19 years since I’ve read that one. Remind me what the hell that even means?”

“It’s something so stupid that it’s brilliant. Here’s how it works: you stare at the girl, but you make it really, really obvious, so that she’s **** to comment on it and tell you to stop. Then you look at her, and say, ‘isn’t that dress a little inappropriate?’ Boom. Easiest excuse of your life.”

“Doesn’t really work if you’re trying to pick her up though, does it?”

“Eh, your mileage may vary. I happen to think that any girl who can’t take a joke like that isn’t worth dealing with.”

The two of you spend the next half an hour chatting companionably, until Adriana gets up and leaves, with Jack hanging off her arm. He smirks at you as he leaves, and you want nothing more than to punch his cheeky face in.

“Well, that’s my signal to leave,” Nora says, sliding out the booth.

“Aww, what’s the occasion?” you ask, and Nora laughs.

“Adriana’s a new pledge,” she says. “I’m harassing her by following her everywhere. Don’t you worry, Alex—Jack is not getting any tail tonight if I have any say at all. Toodles!”

With that, she disappears, following after Jack and Adriana.

Adriana +1
Nora +10
Jack -5