Play it cool

"We have the same birthday!" says the bouncer, smiling down at Todd, who breathes a sigh of relief.

The bouncer lets you and the rest of your group in without any trouble, even though the forty dollar cover charge leaves you with barely enough cash left over for a lapdance.

The thudding bass beat rattles your bones as you step through the threshold and your senses are instantly assailed by flashing lights, dazzling lasers and bouncing, jiggling, gyrating girls of all shapes and sizes. There's four main runways and three "islands" where dancers can perform. All of them are occupied by futas in enthusiastic competition for customers' money and adoration.

There's plenty of booths for private dances and also at least two "Champaigne" rooms where rumor has it anything goes. Anything.

The floor between the runways is packed with people. Futa dancers who are off stage mingle and flirt with the audience.

"Ho-lee shit!" Todd's mouth falls open and he looks around in awe at the flashing lights and jiggling girls.

Karen is bouncing up and down with excitement and even Monica's usual blazé expression has given way to one of mild interest.

"Best. Birthday. Ever!" exclaims Casey, his mouth watering at the sight of so much jiggling meat. He pops a boner immediately.

Heather is sort of hanging back. Looks like she's a bit overwhelmed by the whole spectacle.