That evening

I searched for galas in my town and found one at the exclusive country club. It was going to be a "Black & White Gala" in the country club's historic ball room. The party guests would all be dressed in black or white and apparently many women had ordered custom gowns. The gala was going to be tomorrow night.

I schemed a bit then played video games before driving to get a burger and fries.

Lillian arrived home shortly after 6. I turned on the Sims game. I watched her walk into her house and hang her purse on a hook by the front door. Fart.

"Fuck!" yelled Lillian after letting loose another long, loud, smelly fart. I followed her to the foot of the stairs. Orgasm.

Lillian stumbled and almost fell onto the stairs. She caught herself and braced herself on the railing. "What the hell?" she muttered. She started up the stairs again.

Fart.

"Oh my god!" yelled Lillian, pausing for a moment on the stairs. She went to take another step.

Orgasm.

"Oh god!"

I alternated farts and orgasms as Lillian finally made it to the top of the stairs, sweaty, confused, flustered, and stunned. "What the fuck is wrong with me?" she muttered.

I was laughing my ass off. I almost fell out of my chair. I regained my composure and continued to monitor Lillian. She went to her bedroom and started to remove her clothes. I decided to test the app, so I typed itchy nipples.

Lillian paused then she reached up and rubbed her nipples through her bra. She then removed her bra and rubbed her nipples some more. Itchy nipples.

"Damnit!" said Lillian as she rubbed her nipples harder.

I smiled.