the play's the thing

I hung around for a few hours talking about many things but as the group dwindled to just Anne, Karen and me we talked more about the script that's supposed to be a **** mystery. I would be taking the place of the detective. A lady P.I. investigating the locked room mystery. "Well, I do enjoy a good mystery," I told her.

I waited until Karen's mom dropped us off at my house before I decided to tell Karen about Erica."Karen," I began as we approached my door, "we need to talk."

"Sounds serious."

"It is. I talked to Erica."

Karen snapped her eyes on me angrily, "Why would you do that?"

"She wanted to tell me her side of-"

"Her side is she cheated!"

"She says she was drunk and thought it was you. And she didn't do more than kissing."

"She already tried to feed me that steaming load, thanks." She grumbled and turned to face the road again, "I thought you were my friend."

"I am!" I knew this was a bad idea.

"Then why are you taking her side?"

"I'm not. I just think if nothing else you should talk to her."

"Why?"

"Closure. Maybe at least telling her how you feel will make you feel better and make it easier to heal. I know if Jason cheated on me I'd have a lot to say."

"Closure huh?"

"If nothing else."

"I'll think about it." I really hated feeling like I betrayed her.

I spent days reading my lines and helping the drama club rehearse and while she would come to watch us rehearse and give me a ride back home Karen didn't say anything about Erica or if she decided one way or the other to speak to her. Friday morning Jerry knocked on my door to use my makeup again. "Your bruise isn't really that noticeable anymore." He looked in the mirror at where his bruise once was probably for the first time since it happened.

"Oh...I guess you're right."

"If you want I can keep helping you."

"Nah, I only needed it for the bruise right? Bruise gone. No makeup." He was trying to lie. He always was terrible at it. You can't really be someone who wears their heart on their sleeve and a good liar at the same time.

"A shame. I thought you looked really cute in it."

"R-really?"

"Yeah, too bad we couldn't do something more than just coverage." I frowned

"Anything more and everyone else might notice though." By everyone else, he meant Brian, and mom and dad clearly since he wore way more makeup at school.

"We can do it subtly if you want."

"Yeah?"

"If you want, or we can do something less subtle." I could see him mulling it over in his mind, fighting his fear of exposure and his desire to be himself. "Unless you're not ready for that."

"I think just subtle for now." He sat in my chair and reached for the foundation without thinking. I never used full foundation on him, just enough to cover his bruise. I helped him blend his foundation and contour but he needed no help on his eyes. He seemed to struggle with wanting to do more but **** himself to stop.

"You look great."

"You think?"

"Yeah. Tell you what," I scooped up my eyeliner, mascara and a palette of eyeshadow I hadn't had a reason to use and handed it to Jerry, "If you feel like doing more later on your own you can have these."

Jerry suddenly hugged me so tight it knocked the wind out of me, "Thank you."

"What else are big sisters for?"

After breakfast, we waited for the bus when a car pulled up to the curb. Other than the blonde girl they were all boys in makeup. Brian didn't seem to notice any of them even when one of them said hey to him. The one who did was clearly wanting Brian's attention but got none of it. The one I saw holding hands with Jerry was driving so I gave him a bit of advice before I waved them on.

Karen didn't ride the bus again today since she had been borrowing her mom's car to take me home from rehearsals so I didn't see her until I met her at her locker. "I decided to talk to Erin."

"That's great."

"No, it's going to suck but you're right. I have a lot to say and if I don't get it off my chest I'm gonna hate myself."

"Still, I'm proud of you."

"You still have rehearsal after school?"

"Yeah, and tomorrow too. If I knew I'd give up every free moment I had I wouldn't have said yes."

"You probably would have still said yes."

"Probably."

I saw Jerry again leaving the locker room with his friends as I was headed to the theater, and he did indeed have more obvious makeup on. I didn't have time to stop and talk with him and he looked like he was in a rush anyway so I pressed on.

"-and make sure you track Whitney this time," Mr.Larson yelled from his seat.

"Yes, sir." A small voice yelled from the control room.

"Aw, Michelle so glad you could finally join us."

"Happy to help." He seemed to hate when I took his sarcasm seriously but I hated when he would throw thinly veiled insults at me for being a couple minutes late or when I missed a line. Considering they had a month or so to prepare and I had a couple of days I think I was doing pretty good.

"We're working on act one scene five." Great. I was dreading that scene since I read it. The P.I. was supposed to kiss the glamorous lady of the house Elanore who had been lusting after her since my character showed up. "No." He shouted from his seat three rows away, "Go to wardrobe first. We need to make sure the colors are right."

The wardrobe was all of backstage and had a huge assortment of clothes and costumes for every period, even ones that hadn't happened yet. "Hey Michelle," Anne was dressing another girl as one of the police officers that would later arrest the real killer.

"Hey. I'm supposed to wear something."

"It's on the rack behind you, with the blue tag." I took the blue tagged costume and groaned. It was a men's suit. I get they were going for accuracy or whatever but it was totally unflattering. The shirt was very tight across my chest, whoever I was filling in for must have been a very late bloomer. "How's it feel?" Anne asked when I was fully dressed.

"It's tight."

"Where?"

"Around my chest. Hey!" Before I could stop her Anne had reached out and grabbed my breasts.

"Calm down princess, I'm measuring you."

"Oh." I noticed the measuring tape stretched across my chest.

"Nicole isn't as gifted as you." She tutted her tongue as she stared at my chest and thought. I tried not to blush, I had grown used to other girls judging my chest when I developed before most of the girls in my class but it felt different under Anne's watchful eye. "I'll try to find you a bigger shirt but for now you're gonna have to wear a binder."

"A what?"

She reached into a rack and pulled out what looked like a cross between a sports bra and half top. "A binder."

"No way that'll fit."

"We have a longer one but you'll sweat like crazy with that one."

"I meant...hell just give it to me." I took the binder from her and walked behind the rack.

"You'll be fine. I know plenty of guys and girls who wear them all the time." She said as she walked away to help someone else.

"Yeah yeah...wait...guys?" I struggled to get the thing over my chest but finally managed. It felt like wearing a corset around my chest only where a corset would enhance my breasts this completely flattened them.

It looked like a shirt but at the same time not, "Can you breathe?" Anne's head suddenly appeared over the rack.

"What?" I uselessly slapped my hands over my now hidden breasts. "Yeah." I put my shirt back on now fitting better than before. "Surprisingly I can breathe." I slipped on the suspenders, coat and my P.I.'s trench coat. "I'm gonna sweat buckets in this."

"It's supposed to be a dark and stormy night anyway." Anne smiled trying to make me feel better.

I finally shuffled on stage in my men's black loafers and stood on my mark in the fake bedroom set with Whitney, "Great. Now if we're ready." Mr.Larson traced a circle in the air with his finger telling all non-essentials to get off the stage, "From the top." I went through my monologue as I introduced myself to the characters and thus the audience as I took control of the crime scene over our dead body played by the lucky Jeffery who was carried off on a stretcher.

I interviewed all the characters about their whereabouts until I finally reached Elanore's bedroom.Whitney/Elanore threw her white faux fur onto the floor with a sob, "I can't believe he's dead. What will I do?" I/detective Lindsey Statler scooped up the fur and stepped closer to her. Very close.

"I know you Elanore. You're a strong woman. You will survive this because that's what you do."

Whitney/Elanore clasped my hand holding the fur with her's. "I know this must be hard for you with the way we...the way you feel but I can't trust anyone else."

"I won't let you down." Whitney/Elanore closed her eyes expecting our kiss. I quickly pecked her lips with mine and pulled away.

"What the hell was that!?" Mr.Larson yelled.

"It was a kiss."

"Please, I kiss my grandmother with more passion!" Ew. "You're supposed to be lusting after this woman, it's all you can do to not throw her down on the bed right now!"

"I just never kissed a girl before." I heard giggles from a couple of girls on and off stage. "I mean I'm not-"

"An actor?"

"I'm just filling in."

"And you're still being graded. So far it's an F."

"I memorized all of my lines!"

"Acting isn't about just memorizing lines, my dear. It's about emotions and right now you're not an actor." He sighed and sat back into his seat, "From the top!" The cast groaned as we reset the scene, they groaned three more times as I failed, again and again, to kiss her with enough passion.

Finally, Mr.Larson called it quits for the day and I was able to change back into my clothes. Everyone grumbled as the passed me on their way out. "Tough day at the office?" Whitney sat next to me.

"Yeah." I sighed, "I'm sorry, you were great I just can't act as well as you can."

"You seemed to be doing fine up until the end."

"Yeah. I just have never kissed a girl before."

"It's no different than kissing anyone else." She thought for a moment, "How about you come to my place and we can rehearse some more."

"I have a boyfriend."

She laughed, "It's just rehearsing."

"I don't know, I'm only a stand-in anyway."

"Yeah but he's still gonna fail you if you don't get it right."

"He is?"

"Yeah, all the other roles are filled and there isn't much needed backstage so this is the only time he'll have to grade you."

"This is insane!" I'm being graded on well I kiss another girl. I texted Karen to let her know I was heading out with Whitney before we headed out.

I can't believe this is how I'm going to spend my Friday night, kissing a girl in her room. "Here you go." She handed me a glass of tea.

"Thank you." I sipped slowly on the tea, wanting to avoid what's coming next as much as possible.

I had downed the entire glass before Whitney spoke, "You ready?"

"I guess so."

"You have kissed before right?"

"Yeah, my boyfriend. I used to kiss him all the time where I used to live. With my boyfriend."

"You got a boyfriend?"

"Yeah, I...oh."

"There's no reason to be nervous." She stood me up and positioned us where we would be in the play, "We're just acting remember?"

"Right."

"Just imagine I'm your boyfriend." She gently brushed my hair out of my face.

I pulled back sharply, "What are you doing?"

"Being your boyfriend. Doesn't he do this?"

"Y-yeah. Okay." I don't know what's wrong with me, I have no problem with gay people but I felt nervous around Whitney. Maybe it's because Jason isn't around it just feels wrong. Slowly she closed her eyes and waited for me to kiss her again. Again I gave her a quick peck on the lips and groaned. "I'm sorry I can't."

"Don't give up, we'll figure something out. Why don't you go make yourself another glass of tea and wait for me." I nodded and took my glass and left her room.

In the kitchen, I poured myself another glass from the pitcher and chugged the first glass like it was a shot before pouring myself another one. I didn't want to blame him but I think my worries over Jerry have been causing my strange dreams. Dreams are how we process information right? So he's why I've been having the dreams I've been having. I'm definitely not gay so what other explanation could there be? That coupled with being so far away from Jason and the amount of pretty girl's I've met who were lesbians and knowing about this kissing scene coming up probably didn't help. All my dreams lately have involved doing way more than kissing other girls.

"I'm ready," Whitney called after my third glass.

"I'm not," I mumbled taking my half-empty glass and leaving the fully empty pitcher behind on the counter.

When I walked back into Whitney's room she was decidedly different. Her hair was short and black and her breasts were gone! She looked like a feminine boy. "Ta-da!" She turned on the spot giving me the full view.

"What?"

"I thought it might help if I butched it up a bit."

"How?"

"I have tons of wigs and binders for cosplay." She dragged me into the room standing me where she would be in the play and stood in my position.

"Okay."

"We'll do a little role reversal for now. I'll be the boy and you be the girl."

I downed the rest of my tea and sat it on her nightstand, "Okay." I closed my eyes and repeated her line, "I know this must be hard for you with the way we...the way you feel but I can't trust anyone else."

She pulled me in closer to her until our bodies pressed against one another threatening to become one, "I won't let you down." She repeated my line back to me and kissed my lips gently. It was soft and sweet and everything you'd want in a kiss. She pulled her lips away slowly, lingering close to my face before she spoke again. "See, nothing to it."

"It wasn't really...passionate. No offense but it was..."

"It was what?"

"It was sweet." I blushed.

"Well, thanks. We're trying to ease you into it though."

"So we're gonna have to do it again?"

"Absolutely." We repeated the same scene several times and I became more relaxed kissing her. I at least stopped flinching. "You ready?"

I nodded and repeated her line, "I know this must be hard for you with the way we...the way you feel but I can't trust anyone else."

"I won't let you down." She pulled me into her again and kissed me, her hands roamed over my body as she pressed herself into me until I fell back onto her bed pulling her on top of me. She still did not give up even then. I lost myself as my own hands instinctively reached out to grab her butt. Only when I slid my hands under her jeans feeling her panties did my senses return. Finally, I got my hands on her chest and pushed her up off of me breaking our kiss. She thudded to the floor and looked up at me as she panted trying to catch her breath.