Rachel's a Pretty Woman

"Come on, Rachel, take your turn," says the now much bustier woman dressed as a devil, waving towards the metal collar around her neck.

"Okay, I guess we'll figure out how to get Joey and Chandler back later," says Rachel. She walks over to the board in her thigh-high vinyl boots with stiletto heels, part of the "Pretty Woman" costume you put her in, along with the blue-and-black zebra-striped skirt and white top. She spins a 5 and takes a yellow card. "Whether an old man or a young lad," she reads, "guys like a woman who's scantily clad." A flash surrounds her body, but she doesn't look any different after it disappears. "Your turn, Gunther," she says as she looks at him in his pimp outfit.

"This oughta be good," says one of the other guests.

Gunther sighs and spins. The dial stops on 8, and he advances to a red square. He takes the appropriate card and reads it out loud. "Were you thinking you'd never get laid?/It's time to have a body upgrade."

A flash surrounds him, and you notice he's growing a few inches taller as his body fills out. His pimp costume's grown, too, so it's hard to tell exactly, but he's obviously now got some well-defined muscles. His face even looks different -- the jaw's a little squarer, and -- hey, you stop yourself from thinking about another guy's looks. But you can tell Rachel looks impressed, and so do some of the other women in the room.

You want them to pay attention to you, though, so you loudly announce "Here I go!" as you spin. You land on 8 and move your piece to the same red space as some of the other players. You pick up a card and feel compelled to read out loud, "Your dick will have all of the sluts in town screamin'/It's big and shoots out pints of delicious semen."

You see a flash at your crotch, and the front of your red "Baywatch" shorts starts to bulge. It feels like an erection, but it also feels like it's still soft. Most of the ladies are staring at your crotch -- noticing that, now you are getting hard. You run to the bathroom to check things out.

You have no idea how big Joey used to be, but now it looks like you're just short of a full foot long erect, and a thumb and forefinger in a circle don't quite wrap around it. You're sure Joey would be 100% happy with this development, but you're a little worried about it being too big for some women -- and then you realize the magic game will probably end up taking care of things like that. You pull your shorts up over your new sausage, making sure it's not poking out of the top of the waistband -- for now -- and walk back out into the living room.

"Thank God," said Rachel, who you notice is now sitting with her arm around Gunther. "We knew if you started playing with it, you'd be in there all night, and we want to finish this game."

"Yeah, it's my turn again!" says Phoebe. But before she can spin, the holographic projection of a woman reappeared in the space above the game board. "Now that you've all had one turn," she says, "there is an addition to the rules."