The cure is worse than the disease!

"And... There." Typing in the tracker for the Blackbird as it now followed the exhaust trail left behind by the helicopter that attacked the mansion, Storm leaned back in her chair looking over at the others assigned to join her. Rogue and Gambit sat at the far end of the plane, shoulder to shoulder as the southern belle made out with him, after being snapped out of their rut back at the mansion there wasn't too much that could fit them, instead they took the blinds from one of the windows and made make-shift clothing, with Remy wearing a kind of toga and Rogue with a two-piece tribal bikini.

Smirking at the couple, Storm looked over to Kitty and Colossus, with Shadowcat nipping playfully on the blue bear's massive shoulder, their apparel was no different. Especially for Piotr since he was pretty much the biggest thing on the plane! A blanket was wrapped around his waist to cover up the blue log hanging between his legs. Kitty wore the same as Rogue, wrapping a pair of small sheets around her wide hips and melons to keep herself covered.

Squirming in her chair, Storm bit her fanged lips as her paws kneaded her large bust, she was denied the chance to enjoy Wolverine after he escaped his room, oh sure the last dozen men she screwed while under the effects of the gas were fun, but they were just boys, not REAL men like Logan. Purring, the alpha female arched her back, imagining ways she could claim Logan, all the scenarios that came up were more or less a giant blue cat pouncing on a poor suspecting hamster with sideburns.

"Mmm... **** by snoo snoo."

“What was that Ororoe?" Snapping out of her day dream and pulling her claw away from her panties and tits, Storm looked over to the others as they stared at her from behind her chair. "I said... What are Hank and Hope up to?"

Beast and Hope were in fact locked in the washroom, their cloths on the floor at their feet while Hank plowed into her from behind. Pinned against the counter, the power mimic smirked as her large breasts mashed against the mirror, grateful that the door was sound proof while the two growled and roared out in passion. "This is great! Kitty was right, I should have been enjoying this from the get go." Roaring like a tigress the two came again, the rest of the X-men on the Black bird looked at the bathroom door hearing muffled grunts and moans.

"Huh... Maybe he ate something that didn't agree with him... Poor guy."

*

Meanwhile back at the Xavier Institute…

"Well looks like the rest of the campus is good, no one got out." Declared Scott as his team came back from inspecting the school grounds. Blinking while he looked at the others Cyclops smiled as there was at least one aspect of the flu that he like. After becoming a blue furred yeti man, Scott and the others found that their powers had diminished somewhat, Scott was enjoying looking at his team WITHOUT his red sunglasses, his red eyes looking a bit glowy but hardly the laser spewing **** glares they were before.

Looking towards Psylocke, Ice Man and Night Crawler as they met with him in the tennis court, the leader of the X-Men called out for a report. "No one got out Scott, we're good ja?" Asked Kurt, crouched on top of a fence post and looking down at his team.

"Good thing your powers are still working eh Night Crawler?"

Frowning and glaring at his teammates, that was the final straw that broke the camel's back. "I KEEP TELLING YOU ALL, I'M NOT SICK!!! If I WERE sick I'd be sneezing mien brains out and be the size of a damn water buffalo like the rest of... of... ACHOO!"

Exploding out of his costume, Kurt fell of the fence post and landed on his back as he grew two feet taller and doubled in body weight. With gold team surrounding him after the fall, he got up rubbing his head, wiped his sniffling nose and looked down at his burley arm and snot stained fur. "Oh, mien Gott!" He gasped before collapsing on his back and coughing at his misfortune.

Psylocke peered up looking around the campus. "Hey where's Emma?"

*

Outside the campus fence line…

"GIRLS! Mmm... Cut it out!"

Pinned against a tree and her top pried off her pumpkin sized tits, the White Queen found herself at the mercy of her clone daughters the Cuckoos as they tried nursing from her breasts like kittens. Fighting for space to nip at her chest, the three blue haired Emma clones had taken to the Blue Flu just as bad as the other girls, now as big and curvaceous as their mother the four could have been mistaken as quadruplets. Although not a word was spoken, a telepathic argument was being held by the four blue beast women.

"Mother has been lax in her duties." "Instead of maintaining order in the school she's been fornicating with Cyclops."

"Indeed, with a crisis on hand, she should be trying to help... And let me have a go at him."

"WHAT?! Certainly not, I want to be with him."

"No way sister, I'm the oldest I should have first dibs."

"Pff, your only 2.34 seconds older, I am the mature one."

"Behaving like a harlot is not mature, he wants me, and I’ve seen how he looks at me."

"He was looking at me!"

"ME!"

"Mmm, such horny kittens you are..." Husked the White Queen, hugging her daughters close. "So you want a go with my Scott, hmm?" Seeing her triplets nod in her arms, a smirk formed on Emma's fanged lips. "Then I have just the plan..."

*

As it turned out, the Floating Fortress was docked at the base hidden bellow a mountain in Vermont. There was minimal staffing provided by the Evolutionary’s Manimals. In the entire hanger bay there was only five Manimals, and two were the armed guards. Herbert shook his head as he exited the massive helicopter’s cargo bay. One of the Guards rushed up.

“Take these two to the education chamber.” Herbert used his best commanding High Evolutionary voice. “Perhaps with enough sedatives and hypnotics we can convince them that they are our brother and sister.”

“Yes, Lord Evolutionary,” the Leopard responded, the crew from the chopper dragging the pair of X-Men like cheap luggage to their holding cells, oblivious to the pebbles and bumps their heads knocked into on the way. Herbert took the vial stolen from the Xavier institute to his lab. There once inside, he prepared his plans to create an army of animal men and to start he had a single ‘Volunteer’ test subject in a holding cell. The vagrant was kept compliant with bags of Funions and a marijuana cigarette about every hour, a promise for the conditions of entering his car the previous night to get a human guinea pig for his research.

Preparing the first stage in his plans, the Evolutionary set up a syringe with the Blue Flu in it.

“Alright Michael,” He called, “Would you like a joint?”

“Dude…” the vagrant got up and went to the bars, “I could use a dubie.”

Herbert held the rolled-up marijuana just out of his reach, when the vagrant reached, he jammed the needle into his arm.

“Ouch… Dude, I don’t feel so…” the vagrant sneezed. From there on, the High Evolutionary watched as cloths burst open, blue fur shot out of the seams and the cell filled with growls and wet hacks and coughs. “Well I must admit, you are looking a bit blue,” the High Evolutionary chuckled, “I think we need to get you to a hospital…”

*

Back at the mansion…

Scott had the feeling that he was prey, he couldn’t tell why, but he felt like prey. He heard the paw pads coming across the hard wood floors. He heard the other students moving out of away. All Scott knew was that there were four sets of paws stalking him.

Walking with a sense of being tailed, Cyclops made his way to the professor's office, the rest of the student body fleeing to their rooms as the large blue beast man walked by, coming up to the door he knocked and opened the door once he was told to come in.

"Good news Professor, the campus is still secure and nothing went- uh...."

He originally expected the professor in a hazmat suit sitting in a wheelchair behind a desk. Instead he was paralysed with shock staring at the blue furred gorilla creature trying to wrap a curtain around his waist. The room was in tatters, covered in claw marks and stinking of shame and cat love as the blue haired simian man looked up and smiled before the confused Scott Summers.

"Ah Cyclops that's wonderful news." Smiled the man still trying to bundle the ragged cloth around his waist.

"Uh...”

Looking down on the ground he saw Boom Boom wrapped around Xavier's leg nuzzling his hip as the Professor finished making himself presentable. "It seems Beast forgot to vaccinate Tabitha during our little pandemic and in a bout of hormones and some... Parental issues she tried to have her way with me."

"Uh..."

"Fortunately for me the flu has restored my legs to proper functionality AND given me more than viagra could ever promise after four hours of use." Looking down at the satisfied young cat woman, Xavier smiled down at her. "Never try to screw a person with over 25 years’ worth of blue balls my dear, you should be grateful your pelvis is still intact."

"Uh..."

"Now that I'm thinking straight again, I think I shall take Miss Smith to the infirmary to get her vaccination, we don't want you spreading this little plague to anyone else now do we?" Scratching at the blue furred woman's chin as he lifted her up, she gave a soft sneeze before the two exited the room. Closing the door and wincing as he brought his hands up to rub his red eyes, Scott tried VERY hard to get the image of Xavier 'getting it on' out of his head before there was a knock at the door again.

"Yes?"

Exploding through the double doors, Scott barely had time to react when the White Queen and her daughters barged their way in and body tackled Cyclops to the ground. Pinned on his back and looking up, the X-men leader found Emma, Phoebe, Mindee and Celeste leering down at him like a prized catch as Emma's tail closed the door behind her

"Alone at last my darling."

"Can I have him first? I can't wait any longer"

"Ooh dirty thoughts already and we haven't even started."

"Now girls don't fight over him, he still has to survive the first round."

Looking up through the fur and cleavage of four blue amazon beast women, Scott blinked before his mind fogged over with lust... And Emma's psychic influence.

Down in the hallway, Charles chuckled carrying Boom Boom as he heard Scott being 'eaten' alive in his office. "Ah to be young again, well my dear, Dr. McCoy and I are going to have a heated talk when he returns, one involving some long, complicated words and a rolled-up newspaper in my hands."

"Nya..."

*

Just outside the gates of the High Evolutionary’s hidden mountain base, Blue team had landed out of sight and were now spying the sole entrance to the armored despot’s lair.

"Well there's the door, so how do we get in?" Asked Shadow Cat as she and the others looked at the metal vault doors being guarded by two manimals, the team had landed a good distance away so as not to be seen and were hiding behind boxes of cargo just outside of the entrance. "We could punch our way in." Slamming his fists together Colossus got waved off by the others. "Yeah and have tweedle derp and tweedle dumbass over there pull the alarm? Let's try something else."

Thinking long and hard, the X-Men were stumped for an idea until Rogue beamed a smile and got up. "Watch and learn y'all." Sashaying towards the guards who were in the middle of a heated argument.

"So what s the plan our master has this time? First, we kidnap some doper from town, then a bag of weapons grade weed to keep him toasted until the second coming, now we got Wolverine and his kid hauled up in here too, what gives?" Wondered the one guard out loud to the other, a cigarette in his mouth as he puffed out a breath of smoke.

The hyena man looked up from his game consul to answer the wolf man he worked with and wondered also. "Maybe he's testing if weed can make us run away from Wolverine faster."

Scratching his chin the other guard thought about that before shaking his head. "Nah... ’**** by Wolverine' is motivation enough to run for your li... Helloooooo look at what we've got here!"

Standing up to see what got his partner's attention the hyena man dropped his game when he spotted the statuesque blue furred skunk woman saunter up to the two guards in nothing but a string bikini, the two gawking like love struck teenagers as Rogue walked up to them. "Hi y'all, ah was just driving down the freeway when my car broke down, y'all wouldn't happen to have some food and cloths would you? Ah'm getting mighty chilly out here." Wrapping her arms under her bust to seal the deal, Rogue smirked, the added show making the two men turn around and talk in private.

"Dude there's a beast chick in a bikini up here."

"How'd she get up here? And why is she blue?"

"Who the hell cares, she's hot as hell and there's barely any tail in this place, not after the soccer match."

"HEY! That game was rigged, besides don't you think it’s weird she's even here?"

"HOT-AS-HELL-BEAST-CHICK!"

"... OK, good point.”

Turning back around they went to approach Rogue and offer her what she wanted.

5 minutes later and the heavy metal doors to the fortress opened, there standing at its gates was Rogue holding the **** bodies of the two guards by the scruff of their uniforms. After a gingerly 'touch' the two had passed out and she was now bigger than ever, whistling over the rest of the X-men, the skunk/hyena/wolf woman tossed the two guards to the side wall and wiped her hands clean.

"Come on y'all, time to find the others."

*

Meanwhile down in the fortress dungeons…

Sitting together in a cell, Wolverine and X-23 looked on in annoyance as the High Evolutionary stood with a glass of wine in his metal gloved hand, a straw dangling at the edge of the glass as he brought the drink up to sip from a single hole in his metal mask.

"Do you like my underground fortress you two? I purchased the lot of land from a rather high-strung individual who had far too much money, time and a rampant paranoid belief that the USSR would bomb his beloved home to cinders, with my savvy business charm, and the offer of a lead lined umbrella he relented the land over to me... A hard bargain coming from a lunatic."

"I'd pay good money if you'd just shut up." Groaned Logan rubbing his temples while Laura plugged her ears hoping to drone the windbag's words out.

"Humph! You simply do not appreciate the effort it takes to make such negotiations." Sipping from his glass he turned to another cell and turned the lights on, revealing a large blue bear creature held inside. "For example, THIS one needed only a bag of weed to be **** into coming with me, by now he's suffering from the same case of the sniffles as your students isn't he?"

Looking at the thing, the two X-men could make out the tattered shorts and shirt the beast wore, stretched and torn after growing nearly twice his previous size and sprouting blue fur and claws, the beast took one look at Laura and slammed into the glass wall of its cage, licking and dry humping its enclosure before snapping back to cough and sneeze.

"He's progressed quite nicely, so much so that maybe I should put him back where I found him, he's probably feeling homesick... Plus he imbibed all the **** we offered so there's that too."

"Are you NUTS?! He'll get the entire STATE sick!"

Turning back around and feigning innocence, Herbert Wyndham posed dramatically before sipping from his drink again. "Oh, these university league types bounce back quickly enough Miss Kinney, why I'm more than certain he'll make a full recovery in but a few days, after I drop him off in front of a hospital."

"You'll never get away with this you tin plated, ego tripping, snobby little... Umm... Uh... FUCK YOU!"

Looking to a shrugging Logan after the scolding from his daughter, the villainous tyrant turned and made to leave. "Well then... Seems my presence isn't as welcomed as I had believed, I'll leave you alone as my Manimals bring him to be stowed away in the back of my car, adieu." Closing the metal doors behind him the two regenerators looked to each other and back at the horny beast man leering at Laura like a hound dog, just before he was gassed by a pair of the Evolutianary’s men and dragged out.

Sighing, the two leaned back, sat and waited for rescue.

*

“Miss Kitty,” The High Evolutionary said as he walked past his secretary, waiting for him at the door to his lab. “Get changed, we are driving into town. Meet me in the motor pool at the passenger van.”

Miss Kitty, the latest of The High Evolutionary’s secretaries had once been a Bengal Panther, now she was a cross between a Bengal Panther and a Scottish English Teacher.

“Aye,” Miss Kitty curtsied following the armored man loyally down the hallway. Far from the cat suits and other slinky outfits Miss Kitty wore a loose knee length skirt and pressed blouse. While it was almost formal, it still showed off too much fur for public viewing. Miss Kitty was one of the more human of the Manimals but her tail, ears, and body fur were dead giveaway to her true nature.

Arriving in front of the Rolls Royce parked in Wyndham’s personal parking spot, the cat woman opened the door and fished out a different pair of shoes and driver’s hat from the glove compartment.

“Laird,” Miss Kitty said cautiously, “I wouldn’t question you or your plans…”

“What is it Miss Kitty?” the High Evolutionary asked.

“My Laird.” Miss Kitty verbally tip-toed. “The others are asking what I could tell them about your plan, they just don’t understand.”

“What don’t they understand?”

“The Marijuana, the vagrant, the cheesecakes, the Wolverine and his daughter,” Kitty listed the seeming random things.

“They are all just side notes,” he chuckled, “The Vagrant was a test subject, the marijuana was to keep him quiet. I needed a human to test bio-weapons designed to re-engineer humans into Manimals.”

“The Wolverines?” Miss Kitty asked.

“They are perhaps the only things that could cure our new Manimals. So, they needed to be taken out of the equation, sure his bastard son is still on the loose, but I am sure Draken will not aid our enemies,” The Evolutionary shrugged.

“The cheesecakes?” Miss Kitty almost had it figured out.

“Don’t you remember what Tuesday is?” The Evolutionary smirked, “The Manimals need a morale boost and I figured cheesecakes for the Manimal specie’s Birthday celebration would help.”

“So, what are we doing now?” Miss Kitty asked.

“We are going to start an epidemic Miss Kitty,” he smiled, “And bring in the new Manimals it spawns into our folds.” Looking out his back-window Wyndham smiled as his two Manimals shoved the blue bear into his trunk. "Careful now men, our guest is quite fragile, we would not wish him even MORE harmed than he is already." Accidently closing the trunk door on the student’s arm more than once the two goons shoved the injured limb back inside and closed it properly, giving their leader a thumb up. “Jolly good.”

Leaning back into the seat while his secretary sat in front of the wheel, the mad genius smiled, his plans slowly unfolding. That is until he saw something blocking the driveway out of his fortress. "Uhm... M' laird?" Looking up ahead, the High Evolutionary blinked in surprise to find the X-men blocking the way of his car, all large and beastly, the one that really caught his eye was the floating one with lightning sparking from her form and the giant bear man and skunk woman cracking their knuckles ready to throw punches.

"DRIVE MISS KITTY, DRIVE!!!"

Miss Kitty slammed her booted paw on the gas and plowed through the X-Beasts! The team leaping out of the way as the vehicle made it out of the garage area and out onto the open road. Laughing at his apparent get away, the metal clad villain couldn’t be stopped now. Miss Kitty took a sharp turn into the freeway heading towards the nearest city.

“HA HA, NOTHING CAN STOP US NOW!”

A metallic ping broke the man’s mirth, followed by an ear shattering KA-BOOM along with the sight of one of the front wheels flying off to the side and roiling smoke billowing from the hood of the car. The vehicle spinning out of control and rolling into a muddy ditch.

“Oh dear…”

*

Meanwhile back at the Xavier Mansion…

"And... There we go." Announced Xavier as he gave Tabitha her medicine, the blue cat girl blinking sleepily before curling up on the infirmary bed and falling asleep. "And that takes care of that." Brushing his hands and putting a blanket over the young woman, Xavier stepped away and chuckled to himself. Going into a walk he stopped and moved on his tip toes, going into a ballerina spin and enjoying the sensation of walking again. Oh, he was still upset, very much so, if anything he planned on clubbing Beast over the head with a newspaper until his arm was sore... But for now, being able to walk again was lovely. Until he was caught in a wrenching cough that sent him to his knees, a groan from Night Crawler’s bed reminded the telepathic professor that he and the others were still sick, and after taking a tissue to blow his nose and clear his throat, he was **** to remind himself of that as well. That and other problems.

Deep down inside he could tell there was a battle going on in his mind, his rational side was locked in a war with the feral side of his transformation, clawing and biting to gain control. It never would of course, Xavier's mind had taken a proverbial two by four to his animal side and was now reduced to a domesticated mutt sitting handsomely waiting for a biscuit. Although reaching out with his mind, he found MANY of his students and teachers were not as self-controlled as he was. If they all weren't cured quickly then he had no idea what to do about his X-Men if they went feral.

*

Emma lounged on her side watching as Mindee had her turn with Scott, riding him for all he was worth, while Celeste and Phoebe made out nearby. Cyclops stopped resisting a while ago, the scent of four females in heat sent him into a rut where he didn't need to be held down to screw any of the Blue Queens anymore. Rolling onto her back Emma purred, her fluffy blue tail swishing back and forth as she waited for her turn again, her hands exploring her massive breasts and flaring thighs while Mindee's moans grew in the background.

Deep down inside she could tell she was changing; her sense of fashion, class and manners were fading, making way for the feral she-beast that was growing stronger inside of her. Her priorities had changed. She wanted a mate, a pack to rule as its alpha female, to chase her quarry through the woods, to hunt and feed, to go into heat and bear litters of kids again and again until there were too many to name nipping and biting at her plump leaking breasts for nourishment and warmth. She was much too thin, she needed to eat more if she were to have a litter of healthy cubs!

A howl from Mindee woke Emma from her reverie, a smile on her fanged lips as her sister Queen moaned in orgasm while Scott bucked and twitched underneath her. Rolling over to pad on all fours Emma nuzzled and kissed Mindee passionately before whispering into her feline ear. "My turn dear..."

*

On a cliff overlooking the High Evolutionary’s base.

Deadpool looked through the sights of the 20 millimeter anti-tank rifle. The shot sent a slug right into the engine block of the High Evolutionary’s Rolls Royce and sent it rolling like a screaming fiery NASCAR racer for the muddy ditch at the side of the road.

“Ah, how do I get the good gigs?”

(8 hours earlier, Latverian Embassy, New York City)

“Oh Cool.” Deadpool smiled. “I like flashbacks!”

Doctor Doom sneered, his metal gloved hands gripping the stone arm rests of his throne from his personal quarters at his embassy. “What are you blathering about NOW you idiot?”

“Just the fourth wall Doc.” Deadpool snickered. “Why exactly did you sent your doom-bots to get me again?”

“As much as I detest your existence,” Doom started, narrowing his eyes at the mercenary, “I have a need for you. It seems your healing powers will be of great use to stifle the Evolutionary’s latest plot. It seems that something most unusual has started to occur in Xavier’s school, I need you to prevent the Evolutionary from trying to take whatever weapons he could make of the illness plaguing the mutants out of his lab.”

“Come on Doc, I got no beef with Herbert or Charlie and the Freaky Factory,” Deadpool said in a mock-California accent.

Doom turned in his stone and brass throne, pressing a button on his wrist and activating a row of television screens on the walls, there he **** Wade Wilson to watch on as the video feed showed footage of the X-Men’s ordeals with the Blue Flu “If you don’t, it is quite possible that all women on this planet will become… Blue furries!”

“MOTHER OF GOD!” Deadpool shuttered.

“Now go… You will be compensated when you complete your task.”

(Present, Vermont)

“Good use of the flash back…”

Miss Kitty looked up from the broken dashboard, blinking up at the red clad man looking down at her through the shattered windshield. “What?”

“Just chatting with the readers Puss’n Boots” Deadpool sighed, “SAY who’s that in your trunk?”

“Miss Kitty?” The High Evoloutionary asked his secretary. “I’m stuck Laird!”

“Stay RIGHT there!” Deadpool shouted as he dashed to the trunk, prying it wide open with a crowbar he had strapped to his back. “Woah! Hay buddy you’re looking kinda BLUE… I think you need a transfusion!”

Deadpool took the needle set he had in his belt pouch and connected his artery to the blue furry’s vein. Almost instantly the vagrant returned to normal. “And they all lived happily ever after with a tent pitched in their pants.”

*

Meanwhile…

“Logan are ya in there?” Tapping against the metal door, Rogue frowned before ripping the framework off the cell. Logan and Laura were convinced that they were still heavily **** when they saw just how huge Rogue had become.

“Logan!” Beast said as he entered along with the rest of the team. “Thank God you are all right!”

“Hank?” Logan looked at his cohort, “I think they have us on some heavy shit.”

“Metal face has a hippy they turned into a big blue **** wanna-be!” Laura drooled.

“Don’t worry, I have a plan but first we need a volunteer!” Colossus stepped up ahead of the whole group changing back to flesh and waving his paws over his head like a student in a classroom. “I go.” Beast pulled out the transfusion kit he had with him, linking Piotr to Logan on the floor by their arms. “Hold still.” With the two of them hooked up by the intravenous link the team watched on as almost instantly the blue fur fell off the Russian mutant’s skin and he reverted to normal. “We need to get back to the school now!”

“Anyone want chicken wings?” Deadpool called out walking through the hallway to find the X-Men picking up Logan and X-23. Steeping inside he was holding the arms ripped off a chicken man. “His name tag said he was a Texan rooster, does that mean he’s buffalo flavoured or barbeque?”

*

Back at the mansion.

"Let us out old man..." snarled the horde of blue furred monsters glaring daggers at the well-dressed Professor, the man having gotten into Beast's wardrobe and 'borrowed' a suit to wear, standing between the snarling X-Beasts and the front door.

"Ladies and gentlemen, you've all been corrupted by the worst of your baser impulses, return to your dormitories or else I will be **** to take DRASTIC actions!"

Looking to each other, the giant blue cats, wolves, bears and other critters began to worry before one of them stepped forward and snarled at Xavier. Emma Frost and her daughters smiled viciously as they stood face to face with the lone voice of reason left in the school.

"So, the gorilla in the monkey suit claims he can stop us all? How pray tell can you do that when your psychic powers are no better than a cheap fortune teller's now?" arching forward and brandishing her claws, the feral cat woman made ready to strike when Charles pulled a spray bottle from behind his back and pulled the trigger. 'Pff Pff Pff."As soon as the watery mist hit her face...

"AAAAEEEEIIIIIIK! IT'S IN MY HAIR, IT'S IN MY HAIR!!!"

Screaming like a little girl with her ears back and tail risen, Emma leapt back into the crowd and into Scott's arms, her kids ran and hid behind him, wide eyed and terrified. Another bold student moved forward and was met with a face full of sprayed water. 'Pff Pff Pff.' making him squeal in shock and fall on his back as the whole group backed away eyeing the horrible plastic thing in Xavier's hand.

"ALRIGHT! Anyone else wanna be a hero?!" Yelled the Professor, eyeing everyone in the lobby as they shook their heads rapidly. "Good! You’re all staying here until I say otherwise, AND just in case you get any bright ideas..." Pulling out a small remote from his pocket the blue gorilla pressed a single button and the entire campus sprinkler system turned on, surrounding the school grounds in spraying water.

"You... You monster!" With her tail between her legs and curled up like a child in Scott's arms Emma Frost and the horde of beasts had been defeated, cowering in fear as Xavier twirled the spray bottle in his hand like a revolver. "Now be good little beasties and go back to your kennels." Scampering as fast as lightning, they all scattered out of sight, the echo of slammed doors filling the hallway as the Professor casually danced over to the living room and sat lazily on the couch before turning on the television and raising his feet to rest on the coffee table.

"Ah it's good to be in charge..."

*

"Still with us Logan?" Asked Hank finishing up the last transfusion with the rest of the team, most of the X-men had returned to normal and were helping the two captured mutants back on their feet. Blinking irregularly and wobbling back and forth, Logan never heard a word Beast said, 50 tranquilizers in his system and short a pint of blood, Wolverine only saw the Cookie Monster waving at him, a blue Chewbacca kissing Han Solo in the background, the Tin Man hugging Dorothy at the door and...

"Hey, Hope Summers, you related to that jerk from the future, Cable? Did you know I used to wipe his ass when he was a kid? If you ask Daddy-Deadpool nicely I could wipe your ass too, five bucks and I could include spanking."

"Ew..."

Deadpool... No matter how stoned Logan was, he would always recognize that jabbering jackass anywhere! Finding the strength to stand, Wolverine staggered up to the red and black mercenary trying BADLY to hit on Hope and lunged out to strangle him. "You... What the hell are you doing here Wade?"

Gasping for air with the X-men surrounding him, Wade struggled to breath, waving his arms wildly before reaching behind his back. "Helping YOU get the blood flowing again Wolvzees. SMOKE BOOOOOOOMB!" Kneeing Logan in the crotch and snatching the vial of Blue Flu from Beast's hands, the mercenary with a mouth gave Hope a 'call me' sign with his hand before running out the door, the room filling up with tear gas a split second later.

*

3 hours later...

Stepping into the front doors of the Xavier Institute, the cured X-Men ran to the infirmary while Logan staggered over to the living room to sit delicately on the couch. An ice-pack at his groin as he slowly and gently sat down.

"Ah lovely, you've all returned, I take it Hank McCoy has managed to get everything under control?" Asked Xavier, sitting with his leg crossed over the other with a cup of tea in his hands, Wolverine took one look at the well-dressed blue furred gorilla and shrugged. "I guess so... I've had a long day, I just wanna rest."

"Hmm, yes." Taking a sip from his drink, Charles read the man's mind while he was at it. "The good news is the tranquilizers should wear off in a few hours and the kaleidoscopic acid-trip you’re going through should disappear with it, the bad news is the crotch kick is VERY real and will last much longer."

"Hate him... Hate him so much..."

"Yes, I know, I've read your mind... Hard not to really, you broadcast too loudly for my tastes, I've had moments contemplating rewriting your memories so that you would have believed you were a Broadway singer from Australia, sadly Jean God rest her soul caught on and I only had enough time to give you the lovely singing voice instead."

"Hate you... Hate you both..."

"That can't be helped." Looking up, Hope rushed over with a bundle of drinks on a tray and gave Xavier a vial, the young red-head running off to cure the rest of the campus.

"ThisisHank'scuregoingtocureeveryonebye!" Blurted out the girl as the blue gorilla man looked to Logan with a smile. "By the way Logan, what happened to the High Evolutionary?"

*

SHIELD forces had arrived not too long after being called and had arrested Herbert Wyndham and his animal men, er... Woman. Deadpool had been a bit trigger happy and killed off all but the iron clad villain and his feline secretary as the two were cuffed and put in the back of an armored van heading for the Triskellon.

"FOOLS! Your iron bars and cement walls cannot make a proper cage to contain the perfection and brilliance of the High Evolutio-" With the doors slamming in his metal face Herbert sighed and leaned back in his seat in the truck, fiddling against his cuffs and sitting across from his secretary. "Don worry M'laird, there be other times we be gettin a chance to change the world."

Frowning behind his metal faceplate the man noticed his secretly sniffling as she tried to rub her nose. "Miss Kitty?" With a light sneeze she rubbed her nose and her hair and ears suddenly turned blue, then one sneeze became another, and another, and ANOTHER. With each nasal blasting sneeze Miss Kitty grew bigger and bluer until she took up the entire space of the truck, her dress exploding off her muscular bulk and curves, pinning the man between her scrunched up legs and bust. "Miss Kitty?" Sniffling down at the man the blue feline woman purred hugging her Lord close like a teddy bear, her claws making scratches in his armor while she licked at his faceplate, a hungry gleam in her yellow eyes. "Mmmm... Tuna in a can..."

The end?

For him probably!