Tickle her

Gina seems to be going on about some story she finds hilarious. “And then, I swear to you, he says, ‘The early worm gets the bird!’ ” She and her friend both crack up at her comment, but you’re just waiting for the right time to strike.

“He’s fucking senile, seriously. The other d-” Now! You plant your hands on her sides, causing her to squirm around as your fingers crawl across her shirt and graze the skin beneath. Aha, now you’ve got her!

“HAHAHA, what the, hell- AHAHA!” Gina continues squirming around, her conversation partner chuckling at her plight as you cause her to contort into all kinds of bizarre shapes, until…

*CRUNCH*

“Ow ow ow ow ow!” you cry. Gina digs her elbows into the backs of your hands, rendering them completely immobile and crushing them in the process.

“Please please let go,” you beg. She begrudgingly complies, then stands up with her hands on her hips, seemingly ready to combat further tickling attempts at any moment. Mission success! But also your hands hurt.

“Nice one, Crotch Cushion. Now what the hell are you doing here?” she asks.

“Punishing you for not battling me!” you declare.

She stares at you for a few seconds, dumbfounded. “Are you sure you’re not a prostitute? You’re dressed like one. Your tits are practically popping out of that skanky dress.”

“Shut up!” you snap, trying to pull your dress up a bit but finding no slack.

“Hmph. You’re on a ship full of wealthy, classy individuals, yet you don’t even have enough class to keep your nipples covered. Even the girls in bikinis have more modesty than you. How did you afford the ticket, anyway?”

Your face red with embarrassment, you’re too focused on finagling your dress to hear her question. You hate having someone call you not classy! But no matter how hard you try, there’s just not enough fabric to go over your nipples…

“Well, not like it matters. You seriously stalked me onto this cruise just so you could get your ass beat? *sigh* I’m sure you’ll bug me for the entire cruise if I refuse, so come on, let’s get this over with. There’s not enough room here, though. We’ll go out by the pools.”