A chat in the food court.

We visited a few more shops and managed to pick up some more clothes, as much of the loose-fitting and moderately showy clothing as we could find. We had managed to track down a few days’ worth of outfits, and we both felt fairly confident that the rest of Ashley’s clothes could make up for anything this didn't cover. After shopping we decided to get some lunch at the food court before heading home.

We sat mostly in silence, I could tell something was on her mind. I knew she would say it when she was ready, she was probably just trying to find the right words.

“You’re still not quite comfortable with this are you?” She finally asked.

“It’s really not that.” I scratched the back of my head nervously. “It’s just not the way I’m used to thinking is all.”

“And what way is that?”

That question sort of took me by surprise. I wasn’t quite sure how to respond. “It’s hard to describe delicately.”

“Don’t be delicate then. I promise you that no matter what you tell me I won’t hold it against you.” If that statement had come from anyone else I would have still been weary, but I knew Ashley well enough to know that she meant it. I could admit to a **** right now and she wouldn’t freak out.

“You have always been the assertive one in our relationship. You know exactly what you want and you’ll go through hell and high water to get it. It doesn’t matter what I say or what anyone else says, you’ll always try. It’s not a bad quality, it’s one of the qualities I love most about you.

“I, on the other hand, have never really been assertive. Ever since I met you I’ve always been the one to support you in your own goals and ambitions, and I’ve been perfectly happy being in that role. In many ways this feels like a role reversal, and it’s just jarring for me. Because now I’m the one who has to have ambitions and goals and you’re the one who helps me with them.”

Ashley was nodding along to everything I said, maintaining eye-contact and carefully considering every word.

“Okay, I see.” She took a sip of her soda before speaking again. “I think I understand what is going on here. What you’re saying is, you’re worried about taking full control of this relationship because it means that you’re the one who has to be ambitious and have goals and stuff. Right?”

“I guess that’s it in broad strokes.”

“So, what do you think it means that I have the goal of letting you be in charge?”

I wasn’t expecting that. I sat in silence for a moment as I considered her question. I understood what she was saying on a basic level, and I was starting to see my problem.

“You see,” she continued, “the idea of being in control and the idea of being ambitious are connected in your mind. Clearly though, they aren’t connected. It’s totally possible for me to be the one who has all the goals and for you to be the one in charge. In fact, you being in charge actually makes you better equipped to support some of my ambitions just like you always have.” Ashley beamed confidently.

“Man, you’re sexy when you’re being smart.” I said smiling. She was right, of course.

“Damn straight. And if that wasn’t quite enough to convince you, think of it this way: is the king of a kingdom really the king if his subjects can just say ‘no’ to any order he gives them?” That was also a good point. “If you really think about it, you aren’t the one in control here. I’m just sort of humoring you because I trust you enough to know you wouldn’t try to **** the power I’ve given you.”

I had a bit of renewed confidence now. The more I thought about it the more I realized that the core of our actual relationship dynamic hadn’t changed much.

“Well, I’m certainly more comfortable with the idea now. I might still be a bit slow to pick it up, but that will probably just be old habits dying hard.” I said.

“That’s fair. Honestly, I’d be a little worried if you picked it up in no-time flat. It’s a big change.” Ashley reached across the table and grasped my hand in hers. “Love ya, babe.” She said sweetly.

“Love you too. And I think you meant to say, ‘Master’.” I give her a wink.

She grinned. “Now we’re talking!”

The drive home was mostly silent. Ashley was in the passenger seat like earlier but she had her phone out and seemed to be looking something up.

“What are you looking at?” I asked, mostly because I was curious and wanted to break the silence.

She looked at me with a slightly worried expression. She seemed hesitant to bring it up. “Well…”

“Are you looking up sexy anime figurines again?”

She chuckled. “No, not this time. One day, Katsuragi my true love, one day…”

“What is it then? You can trust me.” I said.

She sighed. “Actually, I was looking up collars.” Now I understood why she was hesitant. She was worried that saying so might feel like things were moving too fast for me. Our conversation at lunch, however, made me much more confident. It didn’t feel too fast at all.

“What kind were you looking at?” I asked.

Her worried expression seemed to melt away when she realized I didn’t seem uncomfortable with the idea. “Well there are tons of really cute ones out there, though I love the ones with metallic plates with words engraved in them.”

That was interesting. “What kind of words would you want engraved on them?” I asked.

“I dunno,” Ashley admitted, “something naughty I suppose.”

“Like ‘bimbo’, ‘slut’, or ‘cum-dumpster’?” That last one was pulled from the way she introduced this whole idea to me.

She laughed. “As much as I would love something like that, I wouldn’t really be able to wear that in public. And the whole point of collars is never to take them off.”

That was true. I did chuckle slightly at the thought of Ashley wandering around the grocery store with a “cum-dumpster” collar on, just going about her business.

“It would be hilarious, though. You know how much I love offending soccer moms.” Ashley said. Apparently, our imaginations led us to the same place.

There was a lull in the conversation and I checked the clock on the radio. It was a little after two o’clock right now.

“So,” I say in a tone implying that I’m getting down to business, “when we get home I’d like you to get the laundry done. While you’re doing that, take a look at the clothing you have now and get creative with ways to make them a bit sexier.”

She smiled at me. “Yes, Master.”

“Like I said earlier though, you don’t need to do it to everything. Use your best judgement.”

“Right. Should I change when I get home?”

I shake my head. “No, I like what you have on now. Shows off all of your best physical features.”

“Right?” She chuckled. “I do have a question though.”

“What’s that?”

“Let’s say I have to go somewhere without you, what should I wear?”

That was a damn good question. It was one thing for her to dress all skimpy when I was with her, that way if she got stares at least people would know she was with me. But if I wasn’t there it wouldn’t be clear that she was dressing that way because I wanted her to. It wasn’t that I thought she would respond positively to any dudebro that hit on her, it was actually quite the opposite. I didn’t want her to get in trouble for leaving a trail of bruised testicles everywhere she went. There was also the important point that if I wasn’t around there wouldn’t really be much point in dressing skimpy at all, given the whole reason she was doing it was for me.

“In that situation, I think it would be best not to dress too skimpy.” I finally say after some deep consideration. “Which is another good reason to keep some of your normal clothes intact when you get creative. On the other hand, though, I trust you so you’re welcome to wear anything you like if I’m not with you when you go around in public. It’s not like I’ll be around to enjoy the sights anyway.”

“Sounds fair.” Ashley nods. “Another question.”

“Shoot.”

“What should I call you in public?”

That was another damn good question. My knee-jerk reaction was to make her address me normally in public to avoid the awkwardness of someone overhearing her call me “Master”. But I sort of realized that I didn’t really care all that much if someone did overhear. It wasn’t really any of their business and it’s not like I was trying to impress them. On the other hand, I did have to consider my job and Ashley’s well-being. We could get in trouble for that kind of public exchange, especially if someone recognized me from work. My boss was a pretty chill guy, but I didn’t think he was that chill.

I did like it when she called me “Master” though, it was something I didn’t know I loved until I heard her actually say it. Perhaps something that was relatively innocuous but still had the same sort of weight. “Sir” might work, but it would just seem odd hearing someone call her boyfriend that. It seemed too stiff and formal.

“Man, that’s actually a tough one.” I admitted.

“I know, right? Been bugging me ever since you told me to call you ‘Master’ in the food-court.” Ashley said.

“Any suggestions?” I asked.

“I have something of an idea, but it’s not really anything that would display your authority.”

“I honestly can’t think of anything that would convey that idea without seeming creepy to other people, so that’s fine.” I said.

“I was thinking we could just use other people’s lack of knowledge about our relationship to our advantage. Something like ‘love’ would work. It would seem sweet and innocent to everyone else but you and I would know what it really means.”

That was a good idea. “God damn it, Ash, you’re too smart, it’s making me look bad.”

Ashley laughed out loud. “Need me to dumb it down?”

“It’s too late, the damage is done.” We continued to jokingly tease each other all the way home.