Ding Dong!

"What the fuck?" Lily said when she heard the doorbell.

She threw on a thin silk robe and opened the door. On the porch stood a large policeman.

"Can I help you officer?" Lily asked innocently.

"Yes. Your neighbor has reported you sunbathing nude in your backyard. Is that true?"

"Yes, sir."

"Well, they have children and I'm afraid I'm going to have to tell you to stop."

"I'm sorry." Lily said. "I mean I can't have tan lines,"

"Why can you not have tan lines?" The policeman said.

"Because... I don't want to look like I don't take care of myself."

"Anyways, is it okay to come in? I need to gain more information."

Lily sits down on her couch seductively while the policeman asked questions.