Find Hannah

It looks like we’ve got plenty of time before she has to begin her audition, and I’d really love the chance to meet Hannah — particularly if she is working a scene.

“Tell you what,” I say, “Why don’t I see if I can find out where Hannah is right now and if she’s available to see you? I think we’ve got time.”

This seems to do the charm. Tiffany’s tension visibly decreases, and she expresses her thanks with a smile and obvious relief. I kind of get the idea that she’s grateful for an excuse to delay the audition.

We step out in the hallway and I ask one of the security guards if he has the shooting schedule for the day. He consults his clipboard and tells me we will find Hannah in Studio D.

“We’re in luck,” I tell Tiffany. “That’s right down the hall from the casting office.”

As we walk together, I ask Tiffany what it’s like to be roommates with a rising star like Hannah.

“It’s weird hearing you call her ‘Hannah.’ She’s only been ‘Angie’ to me. I know she’s famous around here, but she’s really just a regular girl from a small town, like I am.”

There’s not a lot ‘regular’ about Tiffany’s appearance, I note. As we walk together I gain an even greater appreciation for her physical attributes. No wonder Hannah encouraged her to audition.

We arrive at Studio D. The “RECORDING IN SESSION” sign is dark, so we are free to enter. The set is set up for a scene in “Hairy Palmer and the Chamber of Seduction.” It looks like a medevial castle room, but the bed has black, satin sheets, and the rug on the floor appears to be a skinned unicorn, with a phallic-shaped horn protruding from its head.

As the two of us enter, a young man with black-framed round glasses, a black wizard robe, and a penis-shaped scar on his forehead walks out, talking to someone on his phone. We see a man who seems to be the director talking to a similarly-dressed young man, who is blonde and is holding a serpentine-shaped, glowing dildo. To the side, there is a woman who is wearing a witches hat, and a robe that is loosely tied at her waist, revealing that she has nothing on underneath. I don’t even have to see her face to realize we found Hannah Hooterness.

“Angie!” says Tiffany, lighting up at the sight of her friend. The two of them embrace, further opening Hannah’s robe. Tiffany leads her to me and introduces us.

“This is Jeremy. He is helping me find my way around.”

Hannah looks at me, and I try really, really hard to look her in the face and not stare at her body. “Jeremy Karley! Wow... you really got VIP treatment, didn’t you?”

Tiffany looks at me in confusion, and Hannah says, “Jeremy’s mom and dad own this place. I’ve been hearing good things about you, and I’m glad we got to meet.”

“Not a problem,” I say, again trying to maintain eye contact. “I’ve been wanting to do you, too. I mean — I’ve been wanting to MEET you!”

Tiffany looks at me with renewed interest, having learned who I am. Hannah grins at me knowingly, but before she can say anything the director calls for everyone to get in place to shoot. Angie asks, “Do we have time to watch this? I’d really like to see what I’m getting into.”

I look at my watch. It’s going to be close if she’s going to be on time for her audition.